"Most people send nude pictures nowadays"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Really? I heard this today from a 28 year old woman I know. She says she's done it as have all her friends, with men they're hoping to develop a relationship with and in the early stages of relationships.

Never have, never will. Not even in a 20 year relationship. Christ what are we teaching girls and young women if they think this is ok?

Not that easy to proof. Plus if you’re job hunting and potential employers google your name and find nudes/porn video forget the job.

It’s too easy to bleat about ‘victim blaming’, though, isn’t it? People have to accept responsibility for their behaviour and the potential consequences of it. No naked photos of me will ever appear on the internet or be shared around a workplace because I am 100% sure that no such images exist.

Taking & sharing nude images is a choice, and once that image is sent you have lost control of it forever. If you’re comfortable with that, go ahead, but if you’re not, it might be wise not to. It’s astonishing how many people are evidently too thick to comprehend this.

If you do it you are agreeing to at the very least his friends and family seeing you naked, if not just made public on whatever these free porn sites are. There are men who collect nudes like this or take an interest in sharing them with friends like collectirs items.

So assume the women who do it are just really comfortable with their bodies and happy to be casual wank fodder for men they don't know.

Go figure. I was good looking in my twenties too but I never fancied this. Its degrading.

Then there are those who are naive or stupid and genuinely think the guy is going to be honorable about it. Its not nice. Ending up on porn hub or whatever its called is really traumatic for some. I'd hate to be an accidental (or deliberate!) Porn star.

TBH you have a beautiful puss. I think you should share it more 🐱

Not true AT ALL. I say this as a 30yo woman's dating! I've sent slightly suggestive pics to a boyfriend, but never nudes and never as a way of attracting a man!

Don't know any friends who've don't it either and we're very open about sex and dating

The thing is, asking someone to send you naked photos is actually a really weird thing to do. It makes you look strange, creepy and desperate. Calling them “nudes” when you ask doesn’t fool anyone - they aren’t going to be works of art, they’re going to be blurry pictures of some tits.

If you want to end up on Reddit, then send nudes! They took down 80,000 last year alone, and thousand still remain.
I bet most of those women thought they were doing it in private and in the strictest confidence.

But doesn’t that mean the quid pro quo on men (or people) who do this has to rise steeply.

As a comparison, in Ireland the names and addresses of tax evaders are published in Newspapers, I would love to see the similar publishing for men (those) convicted of revenge porn, and sexual offences.

The thing is, asking someone to send you naked photos is actually a really weird thing to do. It makes you look strange, creepy and desperate.

As in, asking strangers or in general, including long term partners? I'm trying to find out if I'm weird and creepy 😂

I have 5 more!

WHY????!!!!
For me, I get a bit of a thrill out of it.

Did when I was in my twenties. Out of my friends I don’t actually know anyone who hasn’t, male or female. As far as i’m aware anyway. Not everyone does it, but it is certainly common.

For me? Young, horny, and felt like it. Never sent them to a stranger, but to a few guys I was seeing, sure. As far as I’m aware they’ve not been shared, but if they have I’m not going to lose sleep over it tbh. I modelled on and off through my late teens and twenties, once or twice for underwear brands. Just as likely to have been wanked over by strangers as a result of that, and that’s not something that I’m bothered about either.

OP, do you need to understand? If it’s not for you that’s fine, don’t do it. No one is telling you that you should, or forcing you. As far as self respect or whatever goes, I would feel far more degraded by allowing myself to be shamed out of doing something I wanted to, based on the ideals of other people. Each to their own 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've only ever sent nudes as a precursor to hook ups. Without my face obviously. It adds a little 'frisson' to the proceedings 😉

Three quick points

1. I had serious conversations with my own 17 yr old DD about this and it got heated. Pictures then get syndicated - why they think this is OK is beyond me then get upset when they find the person they trusted betrays that trust. This needs to stop. Mobile phones are not for this.
2. A guy applied for a job in my business, HR did searches and found four pictures of him stark bollock naked in a woodland posing between trees. off the record, It was actually quite funny but suffice to say his application wasn't taken further.
3. An IT engineer, showed a younger female colleague some picks on his phone of an event he was at, she moved pictures on and found his dick pics. I would like to sack this engineer at the first opportunity, HR discussed what they heard with the female employee, she wasn't bothered, laughed about it and made it clear she certainly didn't want to raise a formal complaint. She considered it as common place. His cards are marked for me anyhow.

As far as i can tell, I am in the minority. I never did this sort of thing and I cant get my head around why anyone does it, specifically guys and dick picks, what is that about?. At what point did this become a thing and what makes guys think that girls want to see their manhood?

As for girls sending pics, its obvious many will share with their mates, don't send pictures anywhere you wouldn't want others to see. If you tried to get photos published in boots that contained nudes they would refuse to do it. With phones they take nudes anywhere and send them electronically - how times have changed

It’s conditioning… like in the US you’re supposed to lose your virginity on prom night type of crap.

we should encourage and teach young women to be high value. They won’t seek validation from others and will not bend to such things. Because it’s the woman who loses every single time.

PS if you send it knowing what’s up, then all good. It’s the pressure for nudes I take exception with.

This is from US - for interest:

www.spreaker.com/user/nzme/gail-dines-porn-culture-blamed-for-incre

OK. Personally find that a bit yuck, but whatever.

But presumably, you recognise that your view is rather niche, and you don’t try to normalize expectations of receiving fanjo-photos among your partners.

You want to sack someone because someone accidentally saw his private pics in his phone because she scrolled past pics he intended to show her? It's a good job you don't make the decisions in that case!

Why do you find someone else's sexual thrill 'a bit yuk'? Why is it your business to have a response to it at all?

@CloseYourEyesAndSee I was thinking the same. It seems a tad harsh! Unless there's a suspicion he did it on purpose but that would be difficult to prove.

I have to disagree with this.

My friend was a victim of revenge porn and she has managed to get good jobs, most recently working at a major global company.

It obviously has had an impact on her life, but I don't think it's as simple as you'll be written off for jobs.

Well having a response to it works both ways, doesn’t it?

I find it ‘a bit yuk’ because actually inherent in what she has said is the possibility (or knowledge) of it being passed on.

she didn’t say “showing” in a way that cannot be forwarded but “sending” in a way that does permit them to be forwarded outside of her control. In effect she consents to them being published for the trashy men who masturbate to. A big chunk of those men would prefer that she didn’t consent, that’s what they especially like- and Rhubarb is happy to be their Visual Aid. That’s an extremely disturbing “Pick-Me” dance she’s twerking to.

If she can cope with friends/relatives/acquaintances and strangers on the internet wanking over her. I’m sure that proportion of people on the internet who find it rank/grim/yuk won’t phase her at all.

(Obviously, if Rhubarb is a man he can change the pronouns as required)

A fifty something friend of mine says that women on OLD often send revealing photos to him. When I asked him why they do that he said that he thinks they are desperate.

Sorry but I find this so depressing. If my boyfriend shared naked pictures of me with his mates he would be single. Only skanky bastards do that not someone that is meant to respect you.