"Most people send nude pictures nowadays"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Really? I heard this today from a 28 year old woman I know. She says she's done it as have all her friends, with men they're hoping to develop a relationship with and in the early stages of relationships.

Never have, never will. Not even in a 20 year relationship. Christ what are we teaching girls and young women if they think this is ok?

It's not just about whether they'll be shared though that's the biggest concern. I actually think a bit less of the two women IRLI know who've done this. It's the self respect thing for me. Absolutely no no no.

Asking for nude photos is a good way to establish whether the other party has boundaries or self respect. The asker is usually looking for somebody who has neither.

The world has changed and smartphones and the internet have become part of peoples lives including sex lives. There is nothing wrong or non self respecting about sexting per se even with someone you don't know. It's foolish to include your face obviously but I dislike the judgemental tone you have over women doing sexual things you don't approve of.

I just don't understand why anyone would trust some random on the Internet with nudes. Those pictures could be anywhere.

I honestly feel so old when I hear these things.

It never appealed personally. I also know someone who did with absolutely disastrous consequences so even if I had been so inclined, this would have stood as a reminder of what can happen

And I dislike the thought that a man I'm in a relationship with could have had his bits viewed by countless other women.

I don't care if you think I'm judgemental. My personal view is that it's ridiculous.

I saw a load of the younger guys at work clautering round a desk the othe day laughing atbsonething on one of thems phone which he was handing around. Guess what they were looking at?

I'd never do it, even if I was in my twenties now, for that reason.

I spoke to my dc about this as soon as they had mobile phones.
The motto in our house is, 'never send someone a photo that you wouldn't want Grandma to see'

I have never ever sent nudes

Maybe if I'd never had children and felt confident in my body i would have though!

"The world has changed and smartphones and the internet have become part of some peoples lives including sex lives"

Added the missing word.

Have sat in far too many canteens seeing men sharing these kind of pictures to ever even contemplate doing it myself. The worst is when they then become serious or marry the woman and bring them to work dos…..and all I can think is everyone here has seen your fanjo! It’s bloody grim and I would never send pictures even to my DH who I’ve been with for 17 years.

You can speak to them as much as you like but you are naive to think they will never do it.

Since cameras were invented (and since humans made marks) nudes have been produced. It was fairly easy to get photos developed in places other than Boots and agree with the advent of Polaroids everything became easier.

I'm with Closeyoureyes I think your puritanical judgement of your friends decisions is depressing.

I think it is a conversation to be had with all young people, ie potential consequences for actions, both sending them, receiving them etc

Sometimes we need a moral compass 🧭

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints You think it's ok to send full frontal naked pictures of yourself, including your face to married men you've never met, as wank fodder? If that makes me puritanical, well, I'll change my name to Chastity.

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron properly LOL’ed at this ! 😂

As an aside, have any of you seen the Netflix documentary, ‘The Most Hated Man On The Internet’ ? 😳about the revenge porn website ?

Personally I don't like the idea of it. I have 3 grown up daughters aged from 27 to 37. I know one of them was asked to send pics to a guy once, she told him to fuck off. I had a couple of friends when I was 11 that always had money. It was during a foster placement where I attended a catholic school and the boys would go to confession on Friday after lessons. Being Jewish I didn't have to attend but my friend came out in tears One day. He'd confessed that he had money because a man on the estate took Polaroid pictures of him and 2 other lads naked and in different poses then gave them cash for doing it. This was in the late 70's but it highlighted the way people can bribed and their privavy abused. I don't think any good comes of it.

It’s a bit victim blaming though. The issue isn’t the sharing of nudes, it’s the men (and occasionally women) who betray that trust.

I’ve done it. Without my face. I wouldn’t do it again, but I don’t think I deserve derision for it.

It is foolish and naive to share intimate photo’s with anyone, particularly if your face is on it.

Even the ladies England football team have been exposed to this with pictures of some
of them widely shared recently.

I can see why people do it but it wouldn’t be for me.

You can see why people do it? Can you explain why because I just can't understand it. I'm not talking about established relationships with a high level of trust (though I still wouldn't). I mean with people online you don't know, online dating, early stages of a relationship or someone you fancy who's asked but you're not in a relationship yet.

Just how thick do you have to be to do this and trust who you send the pictures to?
Sorry if that's politically incorrect or victim blame but jesus wept this isn't rocket science to work out the chances of this going badly wrong are high.

I totally agree - you would have to be stupid to do this.

I think there's certainly a huge difference between sending them to your long term husband/partner than sending to someone you've just casually dating or worse yet, haven't even met yet. The latter is just too risky, plus I sort of think they should 'earn' it in a way rather than just expect to see you naked whenever they want because you've flirted a bit.

I took a topless mirror selfie and sent it to someone years ago so i cant be too judgemental here 😂My advice to anyone thinking about it is DONT.The picture will 100% be passed around but i suppose some people just dont care.

Unfortunately the Internet, social media and - in particular - easy access to nasty phallocentric porn has normalised all sorts of things which were previously niche. I think there is better education on this now because the risks are better understood but it has come too late for women who are now in their mid to late 20s/early 30s.

I’m probably a prude but I just really don’t understand why a young woman would want to provide wank fodder for a guy she hardly knows. I think the risks for men of sending nudes are less because - as noted upthread - women are less likely to do things they shouldn’t with them.

“plus I sort of think they should 'earn' it in a way rather than just expect to see you naked whenever they want because you've flirted a bit.”

Gosh - this too with bells on. The sense of entitlement that is generated by being very quick to share things that should be reserved for true intimacy is very harmful.