Disappointing proposal

[permanentgiraffe]

I haven't name changed for this, as I don't want anyone to think this isn't genuine.

DP and I just bought a house on Friday. I has a feeling he was going to propose to coincide with this- we had already bought the ring together a couple of months ago.

He didn't propose on Friday. Yesterday, we had a really nice emotional moment where DP played our joint playlist, we were stood together in our new kitchen surrounded by boxes and DP started to cry in the moment. But, he didn't propose then.

We went out and he could tell I was a little upset. He asked why. I said, "that was a nice moment". He said "I think I know what you are trying to say. Don't worry, we'll spend time together this evening" (we'd been unpacking in different rooms most of the day).

In the evening I put dinner in the oven and set the alexa timer - DP was in the room with me, we were just on the sofa waiting for dinner to be ready. I was only in a massive t-shirt due to the heat so went upstairs to the bedroom to put some underwear on as I didn't want to be proposed to without wearing any, as silly as that may sound! I had told DP I was going upstairs to put underwear on. I went upstairs and realised the bedroom was completely tidy - DP had, without me knowing, unpacked and completed this room. DP walked in behind me, at this point the blinds are open and I'm scrabbling around in the laundry basket to try and find some underwear to wear! He has his arm behind his back so it was obvious what was coming. I say I'm just trying to find some underwear to wear and the blinds are open. DP scrabbles around closing the blinds with one arm behind him. He then goes down on one knee and says a sentence about this being the first complete room in the house and will I give him the honour of being his wife. And then alexa went off!

I know I might sound ungrateful. I just wish he waited until perhaps the evening after I had put underwear on (!) and we had had dinner and settled down for the evening. I'm just upset that this was my once in a lifetime proposal.

This was from August last year.

I think the problem is you’ve mixed up two different types of proposals. The one where you decide together, buy a ring together, etc. and the one where you’re surprised by a romantic effort during a special moment. You’ve tried to set up your own “surprise” with lots of winking and nudging. It’s too forced. It’s acting!

I think a proposal should be when you get the ring, or just buy the ring afterwards

ZOMBIE 🧟‍♀️

I realise this is a Zombie thread, but I can't get over that the engagement ring was purchased by both of them TWO MONTHS before the supposed real "proposal". Weird!

However, each to their own I suppose, and if the OP and her fiancé were going to contrive an artificial "proposal event" months after the actual proposal, then the OP has a point...

With the actual proposal obviously taking place before the ring was bought, there was obviously an expectation that there would be some kind of proposal "theatrics" or, to call it what this thing accurately is, a "ring presentation ceremony" given the proposal happened months ago.

And if the OPs fiancé can't muster up anything better than that after two months, that's a bit pathetic.

Simple. Just say no 🤷🏼‍♀️

To be honest if you’d already purchased the ring it was always going to be a bit disappointing. My friend did this, and she told him he still had to propose, but he also chose an odd moment. I think if you want a nice proposal, don’t buy the ring first. If I bought a ring together with my partner I’d hate to be waiting wondering when he would propose. Wouldn’t it have been better that he proposed adhoc and then you went and chose a ring together. You don’t need to have a ring at the proposal. Many people don’t

Okay I know this is a zombie thread but…

Surely I’m not the only one thinking it’s bizarre to spend the day prancing around your new house unpacking in a t-shirt and no underwear???

I cannot fathom why you would do that regardless of how warm it is. Especially if you were expecting a marriage proposal and it was important to you to be somewhat decent/presentable. And what if new neighbors popped over to say hi? If you knew he was going to be proposing surely a short cotton dress (with underwear!) would have been equally cool but also more practical for the purpose of becoming engaged?

I cannot imagine this poor chap trying to navigate this. “I know she wants me to propose to her and I’m trying to set up a surprise but she’s running around undressed in nothing but a grubby t-shirt. Do I do it anyway? Will she be mad? Why doesn’t she have clothes on? Or underwear?? Damn, she’s going upstairs. Sod it, I’m just going for it.” 😂

I skimmed through the pages and didn’t see anyone mentioning this so I couldn’t help myself.

You're funny and I like that you thought about it as I'm sure the rest if us did

Ah OP I don't know anybody who had a perfect engagement story but plenty with funny stories. He will be telling everyone how his panic set in when he saw you heading for the stairs and how he had to rush in and intervene.

My own proposal was rubbish. I ruined it. I had woken up really sick (was having a heavy heavy load of chemo) a few hours earlier and when boyfriend started reaching for a birthday present I snapped I don't want anything today, today is not happening, I'm on strike until tomorrow. He looked stunned and it started to dawn on me there was something else going on. I looked at the tiny box in his hand and said oh god what... He couldn't really stop the proposal then so we sort of stumbled along. I remember the room being far too hot and the smell of vomit being overpowering.

Not romantic. A few hours later I said will you ask me again, he did and this time there were lots of tears for all the right reasons.

You really sound immature and ridiculous. He sounds lovely but I think he'll have a lifetime of 'getting it wrong'. Stop watching romcoms and grow up!

My DH proposed to me in Argos (luckily he didn't get down on one knee) after we had had a bit of a row! I love that I can tell that story now after 38 years of marriage. Just try and see the funny side of it.

Jesus, if this disappointed you I can't help you!

Given it was 6 months ago, I don't think she needs your help anyway.

I'm sorry OP but I agree with this, you already got the ring together so that really negates any proposal afterwards for me

Real romance isn’t staged. He was a darling sorting the bedroom. I’m embarrassed for you, ungrateful mare!

I thought that too @EllieM27she knew he was going to propose that evening so why didn't she make sure she had undies on if it was such a big deal? Maybe she should have set a timer on the alexa so he knew the correct time to propose.

I wonder if they ever did get married.

You are looking at this all wrong, your'll laugh about it in years to come. You sound impossible to please.