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Original poster

Boyfriend been evicted..

200 replies

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:35

We have been together over a year.
He spoke about moving in together and I said I wasn't ready for that yet.
That was 3 months ago
He has his own flat
He has told me today he has been evicted and owes over £1500 rent (3 months)
I was just starting to think about us moving in together ...then I find out he stopped paying his rent.
Not sure how I'm supposed to feel
He said he couldn't afford it
He earns £1,700 a month and rent is £500

OP posts:
Towcat15 · 13/08/2022 16:37

Don’t move in with him

ExplodingCarrots · 13/08/2022 16:38

Bit of a coincidence he defaults on his rent the exact time he wanted to move in with you. I wouldn't trust him OP he sounds like a future cocklodger.

NewBootsAndRanty · 13/08/2022 16:38

Did his landlord go to court? Or was he illegally evicted?

Either way, he's just going to have to find somewhere else (that isn't your place) to stay.

Original poster
whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:39

It was a housing association
They've taken legal action for repossession

OP posts:
DPotter · 13/08/2022 16:40

3 months is very quick to get an eviction. Not impossible but fast - if nothing else due to the backlog in court hearings.

Something isn't smelling right here

Don't let him move in with you - even for the weekend

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 13/08/2022 16:40

Don't let him move it.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 13/08/2022 16:41

Don't let him move in or even stay with you- he won't leave.

Amdone123 · 13/08/2022 16:41

Yes, agree with pp - he'll have to find somewhere else to live. Let him sort this problem out himself.
Don't let him move in with you.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/08/2022 16:41

Hold your horses about moving in.

I’d expect a partner of a year to tell me if they are struggling.

Announcing they are to be evicted is smelling as though he expects you to house him. A fait accompli if you will.

There could well be valid reasons he didn’t pay his rent. But to not even tell you about it before it was a done deal?

I’d be wary. Very much so. You were not ready for a reason. Ask yourself why.

NewBootsAndRanty · 13/08/2022 16:41

In that case, he's been in trouble for more than three months, considering the time it takes to serve notice/get court appointments etc. on top of the time it takes to accrue arrears.
Run.

ZekeZeke · 13/08/2022 16:41

Do not let him move in with you.

He is a grown man, financially responsible for his own bills.

Original poster
whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:42

He hasn't been evicted yet but they've sent him the letter saying if he doesn't pay he will be evicted
He can't afford to catch up now

OP posts:
Ladyof2022 · 13/08/2022 16:42

We women have to protect ourselves because we hear so many stories of manipulative men, and some of us (including me) have been taken in by them.

So we err on the side of caution.

I know you want to think the best of your new fellah - we've all been there - BUT it really does look like he's trying to force the relationship forward against what you have said, by presenting this emergency for YOU to solve by inviting him to live with you.

If he cannot afford a flat he can go into a house share. That costs a FRACTION of what a whole flat with all those bills costs. Tell him to look on the website spare room, it covers the whole of the UK.

Original poster
whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

OP posts:
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/08/2022 16:44

I’d be keeping your hand clamped shut on your purse as well.

focuspocus · 13/08/2022 16:45

Has he definitely been evicted? Either way is he using this to push moving in with you? If you weren't ready anyway then don't be guilt tripped into it. His income should be sufficient to pay his rent unless he's mismanaging his money or has some other obligations? Not a good sign for a joint future.

Ladyof2022 · 13/08/2022 16:45

Just to add two things

  1. I had to evict someone once, who had not paid his rent for 3 months. It took me 9 months through the courts and that was before we had this current backlog caused by covid. So he's not telling you the truth.
  2. He should have told you in the course of daily sharing of each others' lives that he was in trouble with his rent. He could have moved into a shared house months ago instead of running up a debt.
Beamur · 13/08/2022 16:45

Should have used that money for his rent...
I don't think he's being honest with you about the dates or amounts.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 13/08/2022 16:45

That’s not kind, it’s irresponsible. He had rent to pay!

MomwasCasual · 13/08/2022 16:46

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

That makes him sound dim, rather than kind. He should have been paying his rent, not buying bloody pans.

Oh well, rather you than me I suppose.

NewBootsAndRanty · 13/08/2022 16:46

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

Him deciding to buy gifts for you and pay for nights away instead of his own rent doesn't mean you're now responsible for housing him ffs.
He sounds like an irresponsible dick tbh

1985jf · 13/08/2022 16:46

Big red flag there. He's a big boy, he can sort out a payment plan himself surely? Do not allow him to move in!!!! Hes showing you hes bad with money living independently, what will it be like living with him 🫤

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/08/2022 16:46

Buying pans?

Has he bought one big enough to sleep in?

You don’t buy extraneous shite if you are up to your ears with rent arrears.

Not kind. Stupid. Or ostriching.

Neither is great.

DoubleGauze · 13/08/2022 16:47

If he can't keep up with the low rents of HA tenancy how can he ever be trusted to move in with you and pay his share?

Also , he's lucky enough to be HA and he's messing that up? He's an irresponsible fool.

littleburgers · 13/08/2022 16:47

Don't do it. My ex or about 6 years ago did this, didn't pay his rent I wasn't ready to move in. He was manipulative and that was his way of getting what he wanted. Was all down hill from there.

I let him move in said temporary. He tried not to leave, brought bags into the house full of clothes etc. I shut it down but our relationship was over due to it all.