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Original poster

Boyfriend been evicted..

200 replies

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:35

We have been together over a year.
He spoke about moving in together and I said I wasn't ready for that yet.
That was 3 months ago
He has his own flat
He has told me today he has been evicted and owes over £1500 rent (3 months)
I was just starting to think about us moving in together ...then I find out he stopped paying his rent.
Not sure how I'm supposed to feel
He said he couldn't afford it
He earns £1,700 a month and rent is £500

OP posts:
msssm · 13/08/2022 17:05

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/08/2022 16:57

Kill me now?

Perhaps we could dunt you over the heid. With a pan @AnyFucker 😉

🤣🤣🤣

OnaBegonia · 13/08/2022 17:06

Please do not be this naive!!
He's not kind or thoughtful, he's wasted money to suck you in then it'll be oh I've nowhere to go and you being seemingly a bit dopey will let him move in and he'll'drain every penny out of you.

CredibilityProblem · 13/08/2022 17:07

Send him to Citizens Advice or a debt charity to sort out his finances and organise a repayment plan.

Do not even think of letting him move in.

Soontobe60 · 13/08/2022 17:07

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

Which is why he’s not been paying his rent!

hotfroth · 13/08/2022 17:07

Earnings: £1,700 a month.

So what is he doing with it if he's not using any of it to pay the most important bill of all, which is to keep a roof over his head?

Oh yeah, his girlfriend has a roof he can shelter under for free instead, if he can just fool her into letting him move in. For crying out loud OP, every single poster is telling you the same thing. DO NOT let this man move in with you.

Shinyandnew1 · 13/08/2022 17:08

Has he suggesting moving into yours?!

msssm · 13/08/2022 17:08

My daughter had one like this. Let him move in as she ' felt sorry for him'. He almost destroyed her before she woke up to what he was.

Don't do it op. Please listen to us with more life experience. We've seen many like him and it never ends well. Protect yourself 💐

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 13/08/2022 17:08

So timing-wise, he asked if he could move in, then you said no, then he stopped paying his rent so he would be threatened with eviction.
That is a bit shady, isn't it?

It sounds fairly manipulative.

Surely he could pay the rent owed with his next pay packet - what else does he have to pay for?
Cancel gas/electric dd, cut back on food.
He's nearly there.

LittleSid · 13/08/2022 17:09

Don't let him in....x

RobertsRadio · 13/08/2022 17:10

AnyFucker · 13/08/2022 16:55

Thing is he's so kind

Kill me now

🤣🤣🤣

SeasonFinale · 13/08/2022 17:11

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

Well he should have spent this money on his rent instead

PritiPatelsMaker · 13/08/2022 17:12

If he has not paid rent, where has his money gone instead. Seems like a ploy to put pressure on you to house him, Don't! Is it really only three months' arrears.

Have you seen the letter from the HA @whitefiorlane and have you seen his rent account? He should have access to it online.

I'd be wishing him well and blocking but if you are considering staying you need to get some answers like:

where has the money gone?

Has he got other debts?

Why hasn't he engaged with his Housing Officer and offered a payment plan?

What are his plans on where to live? You've already said no, so I'm assuming it's still no?

What are his plans to increase his income to pay off the arrears? He should be looking at overtime or second jobs but I think you already know the answer to this one. His plan to increase his income appears to be having access to yours plus free rent.

queenMab99 · 13/08/2022 17:13

Without leaving yourself vulnerable, ie. do not let him move in with you, encourage him to contact the HA, to make an arrangement to pay back the arrears, and also Citizens Advice, or Step Change, who will help him to organise this. Then see how things go.

mumda · 13/08/2022 17:14

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:42

He hasn't been evicted yet but they've sent him the letter saying if he doesn't pay he will be evicted
He can't afford to catch up now

He needs to arrange a repayment plan now.

You need to be clear that he can't move in with you.
Poke at the wtf has he been doing with his money if you fancy that. But otherwise he's useless.

LMBoston · 13/08/2022 17:15

Piffle11 · 13/08/2022 17:00

Sounds like my ex. He was so generous when we first got together: gifts, flowers, food, nights out… after we moved in together, he slowly started 'forgetting' to pay his half of the rent. He knew I would have to stump up. We earned about the same – he slightly more than me – and he had more than enough to cover his half of the rent. I discovered that he was absolutely shocking with money: he was in debt here and there, could not get a bank account, and basically ignored any warnings that were sent to him. It wasn't just the rent: he would eat the food but didn't contribute much, he would drink the wine I had bought, he would smoke the cigarettes I had bought – I actually ended up quitting smoking purely to stop him nicking my packet of cigarettes every time he left the house - and the last straw came when he was claiming to be hard up, and yet my friend saw him in the bookies opposite her office. I hear about him every now and again through other people, and basically has he has moved from woman to woman, always moving in with them into their houses. I don't think he has changed at all, and he is 50 now.

Stay with this man and be prepared for a lifetime of footing the bill.

Did his name begin with R?! That sounds frighteningly like my ex, every detail. Sadly I guess these people are legion.

OP, listen to all these replies, especially the ones from women who were fooled by these parasites. Do not let him move in! If you do, he will bleed you dry and you’ll have a hell of a job trying to get rid of him once the scales fall from your eyes.

hotfroth · 13/08/2022 17:16

Shinyandnew1 · 13/08/2022 17:08

Has he suggesting moving into yours?!

He's biding his time and waiting for the OP to offer. So it will be her idea and not his, and then she'll have the devil's own job getting him out again. "But you asked me to move in, you can't throw me out onto the streets now...".

gottastopeatingchocolate · 13/08/2022 17:17

In your position I would feel played.

yesimbragging · 13/08/2022 17:18

Its very clear he's trying to force your hand to make you let him move in, but he's actually been very stupid as you now have the perfect get out clause, and he handed it to you on a plate.

"Sorry, no, you cant move in here as you'll need to pay half the rent (and bills) and you've already proven to me you can't do that."

blacksax · 13/08/2022 17:19

Don't want to worry you OP, but if he isn't paying his rent, then he probably isn't paying council tax, water rates or utilities either.

How do you fancy bailiffs tracking him down and coming knocking on your door to recover the debts?

EmmaH2022 · 13/08/2022 17:19

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

No bloody use if he can't or won't pay his rent.

get rid.

alwaysmovingforwards · 13/08/2022 17:20

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

But in his situation it sounds like 'kindness' is getting mixed up with 'financial ignorance and / or irresponsibility'.

In a partner I need the latter to be on a firm footing before I need the former.

EmmaH2022 · 13/08/2022 17:20

What's the betting he has the money and just won't pay, then will try to live off OP?

Nanny0gg · 13/08/2022 17:21

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

Then he's shit with money. He just likes the Grand Gestures

If he moves in with you, you'll be funding the lot.

Don't do it

Dwrcegin · 13/08/2022 17:22

DPotter · 13/08/2022 16:40

3 months is very quick to get an eviction. Not impossible but fast - if nothing else due to the backlog in court hearings.

Something isn't smelling right here

Don't let him move in with you - even for the weekend

Yeah I agree with this.
You have to have 3 full months arrears before they can start court proceedings. So this is amazingly quick, unless he is far more behind in rent than he has stated.

OP, to be frank, I'd need to see the eviction notice to believe it. Do not let him move in.

munchiemarie · 13/08/2022 17:23

yesimbragging · 13/08/2022 17:18

Its very clear he's trying to force your hand to make you let him move in, but he's actually been very stupid as you now have the perfect get out clause, and he handed it to you on a plate.

"Sorry, no, you cant move in here as you'll need to pay half the rent (and bills) and you've already proven to me you can't do that."

This. Be very wary OP. I've been with a man in exactly the same situation.

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