Boyfriend been evicted..

[whitefiorlane]

We have been together over a year.
He spoke about moving in together and I said I wasn't ready for that yet.
That was 3 months ago
He has his own flat
He has told me today he has been evicted and owes over £1500 rent (3 months)
I was just starting to think about us moving in together ...then I find out he stopped paying his rent.
Not sure how I'm supposed to feel
He said he couldn't afford it
He earns £1,700 a month and rent is £500

So he's terrible with money and would rather pay for 'nice' things rather than take responsibility for himself.

This isn't your problem and you WILL regret moving in with someone so irresponsible with money.

I have to add to the PPs. I've got one of these. NEVER paid a month's rent in his life (assuming he didn't have to pay as a child). Always handouts or dole. He's 66 this year and has been sponging off me or the state for 35 years.

It’s OK. I have known women in this situation.

the OP did say she was considering it and said no. Then she goes on to talk about him being kind…

to reassert that boundary for herself again, given she knows something is up, but he’s ‘kind’ will help her again.

pointing out if she says no and he behaves badly is a red flag and she’s prepared to see this time it will help. Or help other women reading this.

we both know the likelihood of her carrying in with the relationship is high given the number of women who come on here with cocklodger stories.

op and other women like her will only see what they want to see hence the ‘test’ but hopefully the OP is riled up by the flood of messages screaming no.

Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

Instead of paying his rent!

Op there is something called "reciprocity"

It's a tactic con artists and salesmen use. Give to get!

Don't be suckered in!

NO WAY is he at eviction point already if it's only 3 months back rent, there's a huge backlog on such legal matters at the moment!

When you tell him he can't move in, expect him to throw back in your face all he's done for you ... the gifts, the nights away ...... that you OWE him.

Yep!

He's trying to force your hand.

You will be the next mug that gets caught out by him.

He made a conscious decision not to pay.

The pans are an investment to get into your home.

You will be beyond silly if you fall for this.

You would want to be out of your mind to live with someone so irresponsible.

He is being so kind and sweet so he has somewhere to live.

3 months ago he decided it would be a good idea to live in your house.

3 months ago.

Don't be stupid and fall for this.

You are accommodation for him.

I live by the 5 year rule, no living together for at least 5 years. I've never fallen prey to a cocklodger, go figure.

Having this rule almost feels like a test. Complete the 5 years so successfully fully enter my life despite the amount of love & trust between you. Some men are loving and decent…. some are clearly time & money wasters like this guy. The red flags couldn’t be more obvious.

There is no way he only owes 3 months. And with a housing association he will have been offered repayment terms. He could have sorted this out if he wanted to.

My ex was like this. Deliberately didnt source another home so I felt sorry for him. The worst mistake of my life.

Your bf will not pay you rent because in his mind you are paying it anyway. He will bleed you dry.

Some men just see women as convenience. I bet if you say no he will end things.

You can do better.

Absolutely don't go there. No no no no no.

He bought pans because he expected to be living there...
Cheeky fucker..
He can't pay his way op. Are you prepared to pay 100 %for everything?
And what HAS he been buying if not life's essentials like rent?

absolutely this !!!

If you have an ounce of sense you will end things now.

If you don't you cannot either be surprised or outraged at the shitshow to come your way, where he lives off you and slowly ruins your life.

He will move in all nice and full of promises.....and then he will have money issues, won't contribute has debts, and you will have a real piece of work bleeding you dry.

We have read it all before on here.

Your call.

OP was only engaged in this thread for the first 10 minutes and hasn't been back since.

I've got an awful feeling that she doesn't like what has been said and will be turning up on the Relationship Board in a few years.

He's just laying the groundwork for moving into your home rent free.

What's the price of a few pans when you could spend the rest of your life rent free at the hands of a gullible girlfriend. I assure you the gifts and nights away will stop when he's achieved his goal of moving in to your property.

I'll be surprised if the OP comes back.

I will not be surprised if he moves in.

I'll be surprised if the OP comes back.

I will not be surprised if he moves in

That's pretty much what I think too. I really really do wonder why so many women have such low self worth that they'd fall for a Charlatan like this.

If he leant on her with enough pressure, it’s likely he’s living there now.

Look at it this way, if you are so miserable in your life anyway, due to various reasons, trauma, low self esteem, loneliness, lack of a support network…
Moving someone in might not seem so bad in comparison to that… except, if there were red flags, you’ve just made your life much worse.

Do not give into desperation, it’s a self fulfilling prophesy leading to despair.
Have hope, think well of the future… you don’t need a guy like this.

I hope you’re okay OP. Maybe if you talk about how you’re really feeling about this, you can get some real support and advise here…

Money that should have been used for paying his rent!

I see the OP is long gone now.

I bet the boyfriend has sweet talked his way into her home and is happily milking his cash cow right now.

Hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.

Jesus woman! The only way he could afford to be as generous as you say he was, was by calculating his generosity would pay off in the long run by you being foolish enough to let him move in. He has future cocklodger written all over him. Do not be taken in by letting him ‘temporarily’ move in either. You have been warned!

OP All the advice from everyone here is DO NOT let this man into your home!

The concern here is that you actually felt you needed to ask the question in the first place.

If you go ahead and let this "Kind" man into your home - you only have yourself to blame for the shit you are going to have to deal with later!

Despite posting about this man several times, different names but same scenario, what is the point in posting again? If it is true you've obviously not listened to any of the advice on previous threads

To the OP: let him move in, at least another loser is out of the dating scene and you seem to know that it's wrong but still you want him to move in. He must think he's won the lottery.

Good luck to you, it will be very difficult to get him out, just remember that and by then you'll probably have a child or two ...

Who sang the song that went ,, 'I ain't gonna do your laundry, I'm not your momma' She should also do one about how to spot a cocklodger, if the message gets through to a few people it will be worth it.