Boyfriend been evicted..

[whitefiorlane]

We have been together over a year.
He spoke about moving in together and I said I wasn't ready for that yet.
That was 3 months ago
He has his own flat
He has told me today he has been evicted and owes over £1500 rent (3 months)
I was just starting to think about us moving in together ...then I find out he stopped paying his rent.
Not sure how I'm supposed to feel
He said he couldn't afford it
He earns £1,700 a month and rent is £500

He should have been paying his rent instead

Oh darling, this is known as "grooming".

He's making you beholden to him and so so so grateful, that you will let him move in.

Pans, so he owns some of the items in your home. AKA moving in by stealth.

He's now finished the grooming and wants the pay-back.

It is a long process to be evicted from social housing. He needs to contact his housing association and set up a payment plan to clear the arrears!

As others have said do not move in with him!

When you tell him he can't move in, expect him to throw back in your face all he's done for you ... the gifts, the nights away ...... that you OWE him.

NO!!!!!!

No no no.

Why has he not paid his rent? This is an enormous red flag.

Nonsense. He can make an offer to pay his landlord in instalments. If his rent is £500 a month and he earns £1700, what on earth is he spending his money on?
His lack of money management doesn't bode well for future. Am also a bit confused as to why you put my boyfriend has been evicted, when he actually hasn't 🤔
Absolutely, do not let him move in with you. Send him to CAB/Debt Advice/Housing Advice.

So many red flags.

3 months arrears to a housing association is usually fairly easy to get sorted. He just needs to make some kind or repayment plan which will be affordable on the income you stated.
Unless he has other debts he hasn't told you about. Tell him to communicate with the housing association and/or speak to Citizens Advice.

Do not let him move in. It will be months before they can actually evict him if they've only sent him a warning letter so far.

Rent is a priority, particularly with a very stable, secure tenancy. To mess that up must mean something is very wrong somewhere. They would be very helpful with payment plans, too, I think.

Proceed with much caution.

So he is terrible with money and prioritising where he spends it

Do not spend the rest of your life in debt/fighting to keep your heads above water because you are with a man who cannot prioritise spending money on rent above gifts and nights away. He will drain your money, your goodwill and your respect.

Find an adult who can share adult responsibilities instead

He lost a housing association tenancy jeez move him on what an idiot - plus he pays for stuff and doesn’t pay his rent second move him on

He is financially irresponsible.

Huge red flags.

If he started paying it back now he probably could stop the eviction but sounds like he doesn't want to knuckle down and go without. What a silly person to lose a HA property.

He’s shit with money. He couldn’t afford gifts, nights out, etc… If you let him move in you will end up with a man baby cocklodger and terrible credit.

Then he makes a repayment plan with them.

Is he pressuring you to let him move in now?

I think you need to open your eyes here.

He's not kind he's worming his way into your house and planning on being a cocklodger.

Unless he has debts his rent is affordable.

They HA will accept a payment plan, he just needs to ask.

All of which are far far cheaper than paying rent, utilities, council tax, food. He is investing in his future free board and lodging with you. Sneaky.

Thing is he's so kind

Kill me now

He hasn't been evicted yet but they've sent him the letter saying if he doesn't pay he will be evicted

He can't afford to catch up now

He just needs to speak to the Housing Officer abs make an offer of payment.

Lots of the HAs will help with budgeting and debt management, he also needs to engage with that.

None of this is your fault, nor is it his responsibility.

Like others have said, there are massive red flags all over this.

You can't possibly be this naive. He has set this up from the beginning.

Kill me now?

Perhaps we could dunt you over the heid. With a pan @AnyFucker 😉

He's obviously trying to sucker you in. Tell him the relationship doesn't have legs as he isn't financially stable. Wish him well and end it. You're in for a whole lot of shit if you take him in trust me.

Sounds like my ex. He was so generous when we first got together: gifts, flowers, food, nights out… after we moved in together, he slowly started 'forgetting' to pay his half of the rent. He knew I would have to stump up. We earned about the same – he slightly more than me – and he had more than enough to cover his half of the rent. I discovered that he was absolutely shocking with money: he was in debt here and there, could not get a bank account, and basically ignored any warnings that were sent to him. It wasn't just the rent: he would eat the food but didn't contribute much, he would drink the wine I had bought, he would smoke the cigarettes I had bought – I actually ended up quitting smoking purely to stop him nicking my packet of cigarettes every time he left the house - and the last straw came when he was claiming to be hard up, and yet my friend saw him in the bookies opposite her office. I hear about him every now and again through other people, and basically has he has moved from woman to woman, always moving in with them into their houses. I don't think he has changed at all, and he is 50 now.

Stay with this man and be prepared for a lifetime of footing the bill.

Don't let him over in! If you weren't fully ready before then don't be pushed into it now. If he can't pay his rent on his salary then you'll be saddled with buying him everything.

*and

If he has not paid rent, where has his money gone instead. Seems like a ploy to put pressure on you to house him, Don't! Is it really only three months' arrears?

Well yes as he obviously hasn't been paying his rent