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Original poster

Boyfriend been evicted..

200 replies

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:35

We have been together over a year.
He spoke about moving in together and I said I wasn't ready for that yet.
That was 3 months ago
He has his own flat
He has told me today he has been evicted and owes over £1500 rent (3 months)
I was just starting to think about us moving in together ...then I find out he stopped paying his rent.
Not sure how I'm supposed to feel
He said he couldn't afford it
He earns £1,700 a month and rent is £500

OP posts:
butterflied · 13/08/2022 17:43

He’s about to eat you alive. And not in a pleasurable way,

This made me laugh.

I was about to write a post about how he's playing you, OP. But so many others are saying that already. He is perhaps kind, but he's mostly irresponsible and pissing away his money instead of paying rent.

Don't let him move in and give him a chance to waste your money.

SortOfAdmireQuagmire · 13/08/2022 17:44

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:42

He hasn't been evicted yet but they've sent him the letter saying if he doesn't pay he will be evicted
He can't afford to catch up now

Why not? They will arrange a payment plan, and he earns enough that he should be able to either stick to that or even to pay using a bank loan.

What’s the actual story here? What has he been spending his rent on, and why?

gogogadgetgo · 13/08/2022 17:44

When you say kind you mean emotionally manipulating cock lodging liar right?

Otherwise none of this makes sense

Please wake up.

Literally everyone here is screaming at you.

endlesslystandingonlego · 13/08/2022 17:45

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:42

He hasn't been evicted yet but they've sent him the letter saying if he doesn't pay he will be evicted
He can't afford to catch up now

So which is it? If he's had the notice (section8) then it's 8 weeks until they can apply to court, then court waiting times, then a hearing, then a notice of possession, then a return to court for a warrant of eviction (if he doesn't move out).

IME housing associations want to help when someone has fallen behind with rent. I've seen cases where people are best part of 2 years behind and HA is still willing to make a repayment agreement.

And when it gets to court, they will mostly suspend the possession order if the tenant a) shows up and b) allows the duty solicitor to put a repayment plan to the court.

It's a long road to being homeless - but it sounds like he just wants to use this as an excuse to mooch off you.

rogueone · 13/08/2022 17:48

Is this a joke? He hasnt been paying his rent but you think he is kind as he buys gifts including a set of pans for your house. Your having a laugh? He is clearly expecting to move in with you. Save him a fortune and likely expect to contribute little as he will have debts to pay off. He is playing you for a fool...sounds like he is forcing your hand here

Riverlee · 13/08/2022 17:49

If he owes money, then usually a repayment scheme can be drawn up.

Hes deliberately not paid three months, and is buttering you up.

Red flag - potential cocklodger at large.

endlesslystandingonlego · 13/08/2022 17:50

CornishTiger · 13/08/2022 17:32

Ex income officer here for a HA.

He has had a notice of seeking possession. It’s totally something he can solve.

He needs to sort out his budget. Rent, council tax and fuel and water. Get Debt advice if he has any ( bet he does) and enter into a repayment plan with the HA.

DO NOT LET HIM MOVE IN.

He sounds at best irresponsible and will sink you down with him.

Yes sorry, Notice Seeking Possesion - not a s8!! (Getting my secured and AST's mixed up!!)

SunnyD44 · 13/08/2022 17:50

No wonder he wants to move in with you.

He obviously just doesn’t like paying bills and thinks you will do it for him.

What was the circumstances that led to him getting a housing association property in the first place?

Fladdermus · 13/08/2022 17:51

He doesn't want to move in with you because he loves you and wants to build a future with you, he wants to move in with you so he can leech off you. You'd be an absolute fool to allow this.

DenholmElliot1 · 13/08/2022 17:53

OP whats YOUR housing situation? Do you own?

Because if you're renting privately it would have made more sense for you to move in with him, being as he had the secure tenancy. Which is what makes me think that you actually own your house. Even more reason not to let him move in.

How old is he?

DenholmElliot1 · 13/08/2022 17:54

Like the others said, ask to see evidence of the eviction threat.

Twiglets1 · 13/08/2022 17:55

Gifts, nights away... I’m sure his landlord would be happy to hear he has been so generous while not paying his rent for 3 months.
Seriously, wake up & smell the coffee. He is chronically unreliable!

dawngreen · 13/08/2022 17:55

Give him the number for Citizens Advice.

Bemyclementine · 13/08/2022 17:56

@whitefiorlane He can very easily prevent the eviction. He needs to start paying hus rent plus an agreed amount, a housing association WILL accept a small amount, towards tge arrears. HA rents are low, I'd suggest current rent plus £5, per week. As long as he sticks to this, he will not be evicted.

Don't move in with him, let him use this an an opportunity to show you he can sort his shit out.

Katyaadlerscoat · 13/08/2022 17:58

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:43

Thing is he's so kind
Gifts ,nights away
He has bought food from supermarket,bought household items (came back with pans the other week )

This is very familiar, even down to the pans. Have you posted about him before?

thefizz · 13/08/2022 17:58

Ignore us, let him move in and then start another thread in a few months time about cocklodger of the year.

Your house, your choice. But you know what to do really.

PickAChew · 13/08/2022 17:58

whitefiorlane · 13/08/2022 16:39

It was a housing association
They've taken legal action for repossession

Then he's a fucking idiot. Don't entangle your life with his under any circumstances.

gotelltheoldmandowntheroad · 13/08/2022 17:59

Run a mile fast very far away right now.

He's an idiot and a pisstaker and he will not get better. You can't build a life with someone like that!

Imagine ten years, you're in debt because of him and no matter how hard you work you can never improve your life because he takes everything.

My ex did this to me. If I could go back in time and slap myself in the face I would.

reesewithoutaspoon · 13/08/2022 18:00

Absolutely crazy to lose a HA tenancy, they are like gold dust.
If he can't even afford 500 on 1700 take home. How much would he be able to contribute to your expenses? Or would the excuses start once he got his feet under the table
"can't pay you the full amount this month I have debts to pay/clothes I need/etc etc
Once he's in it's easy for him to find reasons he can't pay this month, knowing full well you aren't likely to turf him out into the street.

By all means, help him budget and contact CAB, etc to arrange a repayment plan. But under no circumstances allow him to move in if it isn't what YOU want. It's easy to move him in. it's a damn site harder to get him out.

gotelltheoldmandowntheroad · 13/08/2022 18:01

Oh so now he's "intentionally homeless" well you can prepare for desperation when you leave him because he will not be housed again now. He will be desperate to live with you and will say and promise anything.

Don't believe any of it. He will bleed you dry. You need to cut all contact with him and if he harasses you get a non-mol order. Take no shit from this man. This is your fork in the road.

It took me a while to recover from the mistake I made being with a person like this. (I won't use the word man) A man provides for his family.

CornishTiger · 13/08/2022 18:02

DenholmElliot1 · 13/08/2022 17:53

OP whats YOUR housing situation? Do you own?

Because if you're renting privately it would have made more sense for you to move in with him, being as he had the secure tenancy. Which is what makes me think that you actually own your house. Even more reason not to let him move in.

How old is he?

I thought this too.

TollgateDebs · 13/08/2022 18:03

I work for a HA, although not in the area of Income / Arrears. These letters are standard and it usually threatens eviction for non-payment; they are sent to show we are serious about someone needing to pay their rent!! He has, in all probability been ignoring calls and if he can't afford the rent where is his money going and does he have other debts? A BIG red flag is being waved here. As a HA we have tenants with far higher debts and we would not evict for this amount. The HA will just want him to start paying his rent and will agree an amount that he can pay each month to address the arrears. Believe me, £1,500 is nothing as arrears goes and I am working with tenants with arrears of up to £6,500 where we have now agreed payments to address the debt and we are not evicting them! IMO he has shown how irresponsible he is about being responsible and I'd not be wanting to support him. Tell him to speak to the HA as, it is more than likely, they have access to a Money, Advice and Benefit's Team, who can help him address the issues he has with money and budgetting in the future. As to moving in, he'd have to show that he had no debt, as money problems are relationship destroying and never make for a happy partnership.

Spohn · 13/08/2022 18:03

If you have a kid you’d be negligent if you moved an unrelated, in-debt loser in to your home.

Butchyrestingface · 13/08/2022 18:04

Sounds like a liar as well as a profligate.

Stravaig · 13/08/2022 18:04

Run!