DH choked me during fight

[Ana0404]

I've not really posted before but I am just not sure what to do right now. A couple of weeks ago my DH and I were having a few drinks when everything got out of control. He had been in a bad mood all day but I thought he had calmed down enough when we had a few drinks. However he suddenly became very angry and started shouting and screaming at me. He wasn't shouting about anything in particular he was just ranting. I went in the bedroom to try and get away when he pushed me onto the bed he got on top of me and started choking me. I was so scared I just froze I didn't even try and stop him. I'm not sure how long it went on but he suddenly stopped and started hitting himself in the face and screaming to me to hit him back. I refused and just held him until he stopped. In the morning he checked my neck to see if he had left any marks. He said ' I shouldn't have done that' and that was it. We have been together for 10 years and married for 5 years. I have a dd17 from a previous relationship who we have been raising together. He does sometimes push me when he is angry and he often throws things but nothing like this. After 2 weeks of refusing to talk about it he finally apologised and said he was sorry he scared me. I'm not sure if I should just accept the apology and try to move on from this or not.

Next time he will kill you. Report it to the police, get a non molestation order and get him away from you and your child.

he will kill you next time or the time after - don’t wait

Good grief. Please leave him.

you MUST leave immediately. you are lucky to be alive and it will happen again - u may not be so lucky next time.

Get out. He is violent and it's escalating. Protect your daughter and get out.

You leave. You leave now. In the safest way you can. Wait. Until he goes to work tomorrow, or until you get to work, and phone the police.

Choking can be lethal. He could have killed you. Please seek support and leave before he actually does.

So he’s sorry for your appropriate response, but not for physically assaulting you?
What is he going to do next time he loses control?
You need to report this.
You need support.
He needs help.

And get your daughter somewhere safe. Send her anywhere away from him. She needs to stay away until he is gone or you have gone somewhere else.

Yes, you need to leave.

This is a dangerous escalation and huge loss of control - he could pick up a knife and stab you next time. Or a thousand other things when he snaps. Is there anywhere safe you can go? Please be very careful!

Get away from him as quickly as possible. He's capable of killing you. Just get away from him

Strangulation statistically massively increases the odds of him going on to kill you.

Please consider getting away.

choking isnt something you ignore. It isnt something you wait out.

next time you are dead.

Choking is the best inference the police have of your death at your partners hands. Statistically you are now very much in danger.

it happened to me. The police lady who came said he will do it again. I forgave him, listened to his promises and excuses, and he did it again, about a month later. That time I did leave but I should have done it the first time, I was lucky to survive a second time

What do you mean you don't know what to do ??? It's obvious you can't stay with him he could kill you next time . Do you really want to risk your daughter finding you bartered , bruises , dead .

Christ!! You need to leave - he’s violent & a danger to you & the DC

Think about how your DD's life will be if her mother is murdered.

Then leave.

I'm not sure if I should just accept the apology and try to move on from this or not.

What part of you thinks that would be a good idea? I'm sorry OP but you need to get away from this man before you can't.

Please get out, with your daughter at the first possible safe moment.

www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help has lists of phone numbers, apps and websites where you might be able to get information or help

This is a red line. Please leave him

This is really, really dangerous, men who do this are far more likely to kill you. What is more important, that you stay with this abuser, or your kids have a living mother? It’s THAT serious.

You also have to know that leaving is the most dangerous time, you need to be very careful. Do you have anyone who can support you?

You move on. Literally. One of you needs to move out, he is not safe to be around.

Also, it wasn't "a fight" was it?
You don't describe an argument. Just him suddenly getting angry and telling then attacking you.

He checked you for marks the next day. To see if there was evidence no doubt.
Then he was sorry for scaring you

Not sorry for trying to murder you? Why is he not sorry for trying to kill you.
That's what strangulation is. Please don't fool yourself it's anything less than that.

You held him until he stopped hitting himself??

he didn't even apologise, let alone get help for his behaviour

WTAF ?????

he's escalated, he will continue to escalate... what are you waiting for? For him to kill you??

Sorry to be so blunt, but I think you need a huge wake up call!!! .

I don't mean by that that if it was 'a fight' his assault would be understandable by the way. I just don't want you to start minimising it and assigning yourself some blame.