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Do men not want to date women in their late 30s?
282

onlinedatingsucks · 21/07/2022 14:23

I am on a dating app - and I get one like a day. It has been years and years since I dated and I used to get so much more interest. Is it my age?

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onlinedatingsucks · 21/07/2022 14:28

I should add my male friend checked my profile and photos and he said all fine! So I don't think it is that.

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Wouldloveanother · 21/07/2022 14:28

What age parameters have you set?

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Maddogsandtoplessenglishmen · 21/07/2022 14:31

They might be worries you are in the last chances of trying for a baby?

I actually don't know to be honest, it just crossed my mind.

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onlinedatingsucks · 21/07/2022 14:32

They might be worries you are in the last chances of trying for a baby? Well, I am. With the right man.

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onlinedatingsucks · 21/07/2022 14:33

Wouldloveanother 35-45

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DSGR · 21/07/2022 14:34

My DH said he was looking for women 35 and under when he met me as he really wanted children. Do you want children? If not make that clear.
it’s horrible to say men don’t want to date women in their late 30s but if I was a man and desperately wanted children I’d probably also be searching for somebody younger. It’s just a biological fact

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DSGR · 21/07/2022 14:34

If I wanted children in late 30s I’d go it alone no question

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Maddogsandtoplessenglishmen · 21/07/2022 14:38

onlinedatingsucks · 21/07/2022 14:32

They might be worries you are in the last chances of trying for a baby? Well, I am. With the right man.

That probably the issue

If the men want a baby they are probably looking in the early 30s range, and if the men don't want a baby they are probably looking slightly older

Maybe be upfront about it like another poster said, so the men interested in starting a family know that you are interested too?

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Spohn · 21/07/2022 14:41

From previous threads here it sounds like a lot of men on dating apps in their late 30s and their 40s feel entitled to come onto women in their twenties, so it’s more likely that you’d get a bloke in his 50s who’s likely to already have at least one broken home behind him.

Of course it’s possible you’d meet a bloke your age who wants a kid, but it’ll be very rushed, won’t it? Between dating-knowing him well enough to see if he’s fit to parent, fit to share life with-actually conceiving. It’s a risk.

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djdkdkddkek · 21/07/2022 14:44

Well there’s not many decent ones to choose from so you’re not missing out

also I think the less people try it on with you the better. I find the more men who are like, hanging around, means you must give of ‘down for whatever, whenever, without commitment’ type of vibes

hope you find someone soon! you’d be my inspiration if you did ha!

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RedWingBoots · 21/07/2022 14:55

  1. Make it clear you actually want children.
  2. Make your age criteria 10 years older and 10 years younger than our actual age. (When I did this I found I got most interest and more dates from guys who were younger than me including over 5 years. I actually know a few women who are partnered/married to younger men some up to 10 years. My DP is actually my age.)
  3. Get your male friend (or another male friend) to put in different search criteria to see if you come up, and if you do when you do. Then tweak your profile so that you come up near the top of those search criteria.

And in real life start talking to more random people regardless of age and sex. So when you do go on dates you are good at starting conversations with strangers.

You can do this!
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PopGoesBang · 21/07/2022 14:55

I was 37 when online dating, and met my now partner, who is a few years younger. Lots asked about the child situation (I already had a dd) so was honest and said it wasn't high on my list but wasn't ruled out either.
Certainly didn't highlight anything to do with it in my profile.

I did chat to a fair few people too, just to see if there was a click, lots there wasn't. Message a few, see what happens.

With the potential right people it'll be easy to discuss future plans and see if you are on the same page then.

Currently waiting to go into labour - so it can certainly work out how you want it to! Good luck.

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justhereforthisthread · 21/07/2022 14:56

I came out of a relationship at 32 and found that the majority of men interested in me were either married or were second time around. The married ones assumed I was out for a good time. It was seriously depressing.

I did go out with a couple of blokes younger than me that I knew from work. One of them was DH when he was 29 and I was 35. Once we got together, it all happened quite quickly and we got married two years later. We did want children but it never happened for us and it has honestly been for the best. We have a lovely life without children.

I would widen the net if I were you and be upfront about wanting a family. I don't see why your age would put men off. My previous boyfriend was divorced with two children and 9 years older than me but he was a complete man child. DH was 15 years younger than him but much more straightforward and mature and didn't give me the runaround that I'd experienced previously.

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Felixsmama · 21/07/2022 14:57

They probably think you want marriage and pregnancy within 6 months because of your age which scares them.

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LadyCampanulaTottington · 21/07/2022 15:00

I'll leave this depressing graph here for you. Men are disgusting.

Do men not want to date women in their late 30s?
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Pinkbonbon · 21/07/2022 15:06

I certainly wouldn't 'make it clear I want children' on a dating ap. Thats like saying it over your soup starter. Even if they want kids themselves they'll run a mile. Too full on.

Unless it's a want kids yes/no thing on the site. In which case fine. But if you mention wanting kids on bumble or tinder...you'll scare everyone off.

If you didnt want kids then at 38 that might be worth saying. So that they know you arent dating because you are broody. That takes the pressure off. But id never mention wanting them on a dating profile.

I'd agree that the idea that women in their late thirties may desperately want children may scare off lots of men. But you could offset this by talking about things like wanting a travel/hobby companion or something. That way they think 'OK, she isn't in a mad rush, IF she wants kids'. Which takes the pressure off again.

You want to promote this idea that you are someone who just goes with the flow, lives their life and takes things as they come. That way you don't scare the poor wee menfolk with the realities of life and time limits and you know, facts in general lol

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easyday · 21/07/2022 15:14

I didn't do online dating but met my (late) husband through an old fashioned dating agency. You were all interviewed in person and one could choose up to five people a week and you sent them your profile and guys could send you theirs. If you liked them you called them and if that went well you met up.
I was 38 when I joined, met 12 interesting guys, dated a couple of them for a bit. I met my husband at 39. He already had two kids. So when does one bring it up? One can assume a childless woman late 30s wants kids, equally one can assume a divorced guy who's already had kids doesn't want any more.
On our second date he asked me if I wanted kids and I thought 'uh oh here we go'. I said yes, he said he did too!
We got married a year later and had two kids after that.
I think my age range was 35-55. He was 44. He said he wouldn't have anything in common with a much younger woman.

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James492929 · 21/07/2022 15:22

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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PeloAddict · 21/07/2022 15:24

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Slut around Hmm
You say that to men too?

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rainbowdaz · 21/07/2022 15:26

@James492929 I love that you got in their first re. Calling yourself an incel. So you already know your viewpoint is not popular or common amongst normal men.

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James492929 · 21/07/2022 15:26

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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James492929 · 21/07/2022 15:32

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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AStar98 · 21/07/2022 15:34

Sorry to say, when I was dating a few years ago (late 20s to early 30s) I think the baby factor was a bit of an elephant in the room.
My age range was up to 10/12 yrs older (not younger) and most were quite keen to tell me they were happy to extend/have a family and there were a couple who were dead set on no kids/no more (even had a guy tell me within the first few messages he'd had a vasectomy so if I wanted kids not to waste his time 😂)
I didn't know what I wanted at the time so I wasn't really the one pushing the subject.
Trying to think from a male perspective, if you're childless they might want to avoid you for that reason. But I'm sure there are guys out there who would really love to have a family too.
Stick with it, might just take a bit of digging 🤞

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LadyCampanulaTottington · 21/07/2022 15:36

@James492929 thank you for wonderfully proving my point.

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Gwenhwyfar · 21/07/2022 15:37

"the goodlooking and sucessful men your age will want younger women because they can get younger women."

Unfortunately, this is true. Many men will date younger women if they can.
OP does include men up to 45 though so she is open to someone a bit older.

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