Do men not want to date women in their late 30s?

[onlinedatingsucks]

I am on a dating app - and I get one like a day. It has been years and years since I dated and I used to get so much more interest. Is it my age?

[Brainstorm22]

[Brainstorm22]

[Hhd1]

I don’t think it’s age particularly but I don’t think men want to be rushed into things. In my experience and knowing my friends and how they viewed things, Women decide what they want in relationships very quickly but often men drag things out which actually is probably a good policy ( head over heart). It may just be that they see women in their late 30’s as someone who will rush them even if that is not true. It’s a difficult age on online dating and I think most of the best men have been snapped up by then anyway and there are so many wankers left that it’s hard to find someone compatible.

[AMindNeedsBooks]

I have an autistic child and your comment is disgusting. I was under 30 as was her Dad. She is a nicer person than you so I'd consider how how bad your genes are.

[AMindNeedsBooks]

@AMindNeedsBooks

I have an autistic child and your comment is disgusting. I was under 30 as was her Dad. She is a nicer person than you so I'd consider how how bad your genes are.

Apologises for the double 'how'.

I also don't have ducks.

[SheeplessAndCounting]

I have an autistic child and your comment is disgusting. I was under 30 as was her Dad. She is a nicer person than you so I'd consider how how bad your genes are.

Agree, it's disgusting how people speak about autism as if it's some kind of curse. Many of the most astonishing people who have contributed the most to our society were autistic.

[AMindNeedsBooks]

@SheeplessAndCounting

I have an autistic child and your comment is disgusting. I was under 30 as was her Dad. She is a nicer person than you so I'd consider how how bad your genes are.

Agree, it's disgusting how people speak about autism as if it's some kind of curse. Many of the most astonishing people who have contributed the most to our society were autistic.

Thank you. My daughter is a genuinely a good person. It can be difficult at times because despite her age she is much younger mentally and needs more support, but she is a compassionate person and much more so than some of the posters I see on here.

Thank you again.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"I didn't say that most do. I said plenty do. So making assumptions and generalisations is naive and insulting."

If you're talking about most, it's fine to make generalisations.
Most married women wear wedding rings. It's fine to say that, even if not all do.

[lljkk]

Did OP say OP has kids? I can't see OP said that.
Hmmm... late 30s friend is dating loads, and has done for years.
She is almost divorced, child-free although would like kids, & seems to date a lot of blokes who are also almost/just divorced.
Friend has a few other attributes that I would have expected would put some men off... they aren't put off. They aren't creepy sex pests, either.

Dunno why not.. .but seems to be possible to find some decent ones.
*friend keeps moaning she can't find a good bloke using OLD, then she updates saying she's found a good one after all

[SheeplessAndCounting]

@Gwenhwyfar

"I didn't say that most do. I said plenty do. So making assumptions and generalisations is naive and insulting."

If you're talking about most, it's fine to make generalisations.
Most married women wear wedding rings. It's fine to say that, even if not all do.

That makes no sense. Making a generalisation is projecting something onto most of a group of people with whatever characteristic, by definition.

[SheeplessAndCounting]

@AMindNeedsBooks all of the autistic people I know are wonderful human beings. I can't say that about everybody I know who is neurotypical.

You sound like a fantastic parent. She is lucky to have you.

[SheeplessAndCounting]

It's not just the money.. there's the drama added..

The kids real father being on the scene / sometimes on the scene / Not on the scene, but potentially in the future blablabla

Dating logistics.. babysitters required all the time

There's the mans feelings forwards the kids, maybe they won't get on.. maybe they find the kids annoying, maybe there's trouble bonding.. "You're not my daddy!!"

Again you sound very naive and immature. Many women post-divorce decide to keep their children and relationships separate and certainly have no intention of living with a man again so there's no reason a man would interact with the children at all, at least for several years. Even if they did eventually meet why would they think a man dating their mother was their daddy, why would you expect them to?! Why would you need to bond with them? Babysitters would be nothing to do with you.

You sound incredibly self-important as if you think a woman's life would revolve around you. Very weird and out of touch.

I presume you are single. You sound like the drama llama in these situations.

[SheeplessAndCounting]

Sorry OP - the misogynist derailed the thread somewhat and I know none of that discussion is remotely helpful to you.

From what I hear online dating is not a good way to find a partner. I would try to meet people through your social network instead. And if you really want to be a mother above all - rather than it being primarily about finding a relationship - I agree with PPs that you should focus on that and explore other avenues like IVF.

[SheeplessAndCounting]

@lljkk

Did OP say OP has kids? I can't see OP said that.
Hmmm... late 30s friend is dating loads, and has done for years.
She is almost divorced, child-free although would like kids, & seems to date a lot of blokes who are also almost/just divorced.
Friend has a few other attributes that I would have expected would put some men off... they aren't put off. They aren't creepy sex pests, either.

Dunno why not.. .but seems to be possible to find some decent ones.
*friend keeps moaning she can't find a good bloke using OLD, then she updates saying she's found a good one after all

No. The thread just got invaded by a man with mummy issues sadly, who was trashing single mothers and saying women of 30 are "past it" so he needed to be put back in his little misogynistic box.

[moofolk]

@LadyCampanulaTottington

I'll leave this depressing graph here for you. Men are disgusting.

Urgh.

Your analysis is correct.

[Confuciusornis]

@RedWingBoots

1. Make it clear you actually want children.
2. Make your age criteria 10 years older and 10 years younger than our actual age. (When I did this I found I got most interest and more dates from guys who were younger than me including over 5 years. I actually know a few women who are partnered/married to younger men some up to 10 years. My DP is actually my age.)
3. Get your male friend (or another male friend) to put in different search criteria to see if you come up, and if you do when you do. Then tweak your profile so that you come up near the top of those search criteria.

And in real life start talking to more random people regardless of age and sex. So when you do go on dates you are good at starting conversations with strangers.

You can do this!

This is such a kind, helpful message.
I agree with all @RedWingBoots ’s suggestions, and I’d also add that not getting millions of likes isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If something about your profile is weeding out the predatory or insincere that’s useful.

[Musttryharder2021]

The odds aren't in her favour, and most men would suspect she's in her last chance saloon.

She may get lucky or she may end up settling or finding noone Either way, there's too much pressure for something to materialise.

@onlinedatingsucks

What was your dating history prior Op?

[frozendaisy]

Not a personal snipe just saying genetic base material deteriorates in males as well as females in the baby making department. It's ridiculous that females are resorted to leveling the playing field because men think their mighty sword continues forever in full health. That's just not true.

[Spohn]

OP doesn’t seem too interested in her thread.
OP if you want to have a kid, and want a boyfriend, the two things likely aren’t compatible, so you can have a kid, and then find some bloke to date, and keep the areas of your life separate, or, rush into dating and being impregnated by some guy and hope the potential kid isn’t too traumatised by the resulting parents choices. There’s a well known meme about dating in your thirties being like going to the dump and seeking the least disgusting thing…. I mean…. 😂

[RedWingBoots]

@lljkk

Did OP say OP has kids? I can't see OP said that.
Hmmm... late 30s friend is dating loads, and has done for years.
She is almost divorced, child-free although would like kids, & seems to date a lot of blokes who are also almost/just divorced.
Friend has a few other attributes that I would have expected would put some men off... they aren't put off. They aren't creepy sex pests, either.

Dunno why not.. .but seems to be possible to find some decent ones.
*friend keeps moaning she can't find a good bloke using OLD, then she updates saying she's found a good one after all

Your friend does not have the attitude displayed on this thread.

[EthicalNonMahogany]

Being "6/10" isn't about looks. Once we are all over about 25 it's about looking pitiful and misogynistic and clearly being whingy and not taking responsiblity for your life choices. That might be why women aren't swiping you, trollboy.

[MsTSwift]

You only need one man to be the right one - just one. All the lovely women I know who got divorced have met someone else eventually and they were all older than you (early to mid 40s).

If it were me if I were financially secure I would look for 1 more year then have a baby alone.

Oh and would rather be alone forever than date anyone that rated human beings “out of 10”.

[SortingItOut]

I know the threads gone off on a tangent but if you'd like support/laughs/rants about OLD come and join us on the dating thread. Loads of us all at various life stages trying to navigate OLD.

It's good to have people to support you when you are dating.

[Wouldloveanother]

Oh and would rather be alone forever than date anyone that rated human beings “out of 10”.

Same, how grim

[hotandspicy]

@LadyCampanulaTottington

I'll leave this depressing graph here for you. Men are disgusting.

I've no idea who made that quote but as a guy in his 40s I would not be looking to date girls in their early 20s, it would feel predatory, other than sex, what else would you have in common, absolutely nothing.. different generations and eras. my niece is 26 and she's still fairly immature, that's not an attraction for me even if they may look a great trophy on your arm.

If I was single, id happily date women in their 30s high or low, wouldn't discount an older woman either, depends on the personality and if you click rather than ticking a box they are a particular age.

not all men want a 20 year old, many adults are still quite immature at 20 regardless of gender.