Why do people get angry / seem to take it personally if I say I don’t want to date someone who watches porn?

[Sonervousimgonnathrowup]

Now, I don’t go and keep telling this to people, but sometimes people ask what I look for in a partner/ ideal type etc.
Do I say few things and one of them is that I don’t want to be someone who uses porn.
I think know the industry is abhorrent and so misogynistic and someone who wants to support that is going to have very different values and worldview, so we wouldn’t be compatible.

But people, even women and even crazier some are ”feminists”, laugh and say I’m asking tol much.

Is it really that crazy?

Because they watch porn and don't want you to think they are wierdos. They want to make you the judgemental loon to detract from Thier perversion.

Why would anyone be happy about Thier man looking at videos or pics of other naked woman?

I watch porn.

The first encounter was aged 11 and it was a lesbian story line in a porn mag. I had ermmm.. a body response ( ? ) to it then.

Maybe I was born a severely misogynistic woman. Just give me a sec to come to terms with that!

Not crazy! It’s not ‘expecting too much’ to expect a man to see you as a whole human being. There’s no need to go into the myriad ways that porn damages the brain, and what the resulting behaviour is, because it is well researched & documented & obviously you know already!
Lots of men are aware of the harms of porn and do not watch it. It would totally be a deal breaker for me. My dh is quite interested in feminist theory, has read Robert Jensen, Gail Dines etc Maybe you should give a copy of ‘Getting Off’ to any prospective partners 😉
Also, as an aside, men who watch porn are terrible in bed! 😎

The first encounter was aged 11 and it was a lesbian story line in a porn mag. I had ermmm.. a body response ( ? ) to it then.

I think that’s a good point.

When I was younger children’s access to porn would be a Playboy they found somewhere in their parents room. They might giggle about it, masturbate and talk about it with friends. While I’d still have issues with the objectification of women, it wasn’t skewing their views about what sex entailed.

Now very hard core stuff can be found and accessed very easily online at increasingly younger ages and children don’t have the capacity to process what they’re seeing. It also has a “reward” element that brings people back over again.

I think there’s a problem with teens viewing this stuff because it does bring into the mainstream quite extreme practices. It’s one thing as a grown adult whose sexuality is well established to consensual my engage in rough sex, it’s quite a different thing for a young persons sexuality to be formed by watching rough sex. Parents can be quite lax in monitoring their kids online activity particularly into teenage years when they actually need to be more vigilant.

We also often don’t talk to our kids about the concept of pleasure in sex, we’ll talk about respect and consent, and the mechanics of sex but we don’t often talk about what actually happens. So kids look online to find out what they’re supposed to do and come across all sorts.

I'd try not to let it impact you. It's good to have standards but just be aware it naturally limits your pool. I'd like it to someone not wanting to date someone who buys mass produced clothing or something. Admirable but it does substantially reduce the number of potential suitors.

Also most women I know watch porn to varying degrees so they probably feel somewhat attacked. Apparently women are more likely than men to watch violent porn too which surprised me.

I'm in my 20s, and not to be crass but there are 3 main acts that are now 'normalised' that will often grant you the sex-negative or prudish label if you don't do them. Anal, deepthroating, and allowing the man to cum on your face.

What's worse is that these aren't even seen as kinks anymore and plenty of men (not all of course but a ridiculous number) will try these on you without even asking as it's now seen as a 'default' and even expected part of sex.

@ChiTorpedo - if ever I find myself single again (and I'm 60) I am staying that way - I most definitely these days wouldn't be up for any of these and I'm beyond feigning interest regardless of the quality of the chap

I'm in my 20s, and not to be crass but there are 3 main acts that are now 'normalised' that will often grant you the sex-negative or prudish label if you don't do them. Anal, deepthroating, and allowing the man to cum on your face.

I'm amazed anyone would even put a penis anywhere near their mouth. It's grim enough without the ejaculation part, whether inside or out

See, this one.
Men keep pushing and pushing the line when it comes to so called kink.
And also push normalizing all these acts.
While shaming women who don’t want it.
Or find it painfull and men don’t care.

And then you have some women who also push and shame other women who are not interested in whatever acts.

And I’m sure men come up with plenty of new ”kinks” soon.

Not all men only care about their genitalia **OP. You can definitely find one who cares about women as you do. I can't believe the ignorance of fathers of daughters. Keep your standards high.

This

Then I'm proudly sex negative