Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Slothmomma …I totally understand you are disappointed but it also validates you that for a moment you liked him and he liked you. You picked well and there’s decent people out there. Besides you don’t know if Mr City will call again after he gets bored of dating right left and centre. At some point everyone lands hopefully and decides it’s time to go for one special person.

Met iron for an hour. Nice enough guy but no spark for me

back from holiday
was so so SO nice to have female company
my heads in a very good headspace and need to not get into negative ways now I’m back
ie seeing people that annoy me
ie spending time online and on WhatsApp
WhatsApp generally

easy to say

Mila14

your date sounds alarmingly sorted
I’m hoping for real life chemistry 🧪
I’ve been reading think you also really fancies mr wall ?

Slothmomma

im sorry abiut mr city
it’s all rather gutting when you liked them

here’s to some chemistry with a new one
(albeit sadly not todays date ….)

ibelieveinmirrorballs

yeah , it’s hard when they are out trying to love their solo best life (fair enough ) and you are managing 50 hour weeks and tweens

no easy answers other than keep busy
it’s a heatwave ! You are near the sea

I think we have to listen to our neediness but not let it shout too much

ButterflyOfShay

go easy on the park run in this heat
and - well done for taking that leap

No problem. I’m glad you went because it gets you out of the thinking rut about Mr Nice. We just need to keep having nice enough dates and meeting people really

I think he’s too sorted?? I think I need to see myself. We talk a lot on the phone too and I really don’t know yet what to think. We are going to a swanky first date and at least I will have some some fun. He’s quite attractive.
Mr Wall was really good chemistry but he’s awfully f@**ed in the head. He’s in no state to date anyone and he knows it.

I’m glad you had a really good time Worsy. When is the brood coming back? You still have a bit of time to sort your headspace 🥰
Any news from Balkan ?

Mila14

to be honest mila I was all set to distance myself
from Balkan as he is textbook ‘mr unavailable ‘
Amber flags galore

then I saw him the night before my holiday and it was , hot . very
we’ve been texting on and off

so here I am . No change

and things really do need to change , either I stop giving a shit so much
he steps up (highly unlikely)
or I distance myself

i need to set myself some boundaries and stick to them

I like Worsy ! Mila14
better than my misspelt username

also can I say kudos to Mr wall
the fact that he knows he’s in a pickle and is saving himself for when he’s better and more ‘user friendly ‘

I think that’s rather nice actually

Worsy…I think you can still see Balkan. It’s about you trying to rely on other people when you need more support and more TLC. You can still have him as a good FWB and enjoy the time together. The problem is you want more and he can’t give you more. Stop wanting more perhaps and just enjoy the ride?
Mr Wall is a thoroughly decent man but he’s a battered person with PTS and lots of issues. He needs professional help, not an euro chick date who wants fun and 0 drama

@Slothmomma …. Soooo shit when you think you’ve met someone you have that magic click with.. then that happens. Sorry you didn’t feel a spark with the one today. Anything from libra? Maybe MrCity is just a bit of a player in general. If he was really looking for something good he wouldnt have let you go. So you let him go now. You dont want a player. You know your worth.. you don’t need us to say.

i felt a pathetic today. I dont know why but felt a bit teary all day. Went to a shop in another town as had the day off and quite friendly with a guy who works there. Lo and behold he’s got a cute as missus with a cute baby, and afterwards I walked up the road tearing up thinking whyyyyy is it that I never find love for myself and everyone else in the whole universe I ever know does 💔😢 Feel a bit down today.

Welcome back flower! Any hot greekys?? 😏 silly question hehe 💓

@ButterflyOfShay …you are a ray of sunlight here for us toiling the OLD perilous water. We would not meet anyone probably if we were not on OLD. It takes guts to completely leave it and trust RL. You can have a down day or too. Don’t worry 😉

@Thisisworsethananticpated glad you had a good holiday

@ButterflyOfShay no, I don't think player at all or he'd have let me go ahead with the planned Wednesday night before ghosting etc. Nothing further heard from Mr libra.

Sorry you're feeling a bit down today - I have the odd occasion like that - usually linked to hormones- where it looks like whole world is loved up except me but we know in reality that isn't the case. Hope you're chilling tonight

ButterflyOfShay

no ! None of us had any flirting at all
Greeks got a bit annoyed with our vege vegan ways
they wanted to serve big seafood platters

Wish I could blame hormones but it’s not the right time of the month at all!! Possibly the drinking slipping back in but maybe a bit of everything.. who knows 🙁

Oh no way!!
god I love the seafood on hols

Hi Mila it wasn’t really guts it was just extremely detrimental to my head and self worth I found, so the natural reaction for me is to avoid that altogether 🤷‍♀️

ButterflyOfShay

agh I’m sorry you had a teary day . They happen
sending hugs your way xxx

ButterflyOfShay

what could you do this weekend to make you feel a bit better angel ?

Thanks lovlies. It’s just nice to have somewhere to say it isn’t it. Do you ever have a few days where you just feel horrible and like you just don’t belong in the world and like the world’s out to get you. It just kind of feels like that this week 😣 xx

Sorry to hear that @ButterflyOfShay - I think we all have those days regardless of our dating situation. (I had one today and ended it snivelling a bit whilst sunbathing in the garden in my pants at 6pm).

It's a difficult one because whilst I totally get the very natural reaction to think "this is bad for my mental health I need to step away" I also think I've learnt so much about how to handle myself and very definitely feel like I'm making progress, in a way that I hadn't done at all in my 7 years of 'being single, no OLD' after separating from my exH. I like to compare it to public speaking - there's no way I'll get better at it unless I force myself to do it over and over again

I hope you're feeling marginally better too. What's the situation with the drinking now too... because the alcohol will definitely also be acting as a depressant (I'm here with ALL the uplifting one-liners 🤐)?