Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hey Butterfly I hope you are ok... Sending you massive squeeze hugs.xxx

I know exactly what you mean & those weeks are just the worst aren't they. I hope things get brighter for you soon because you are amazing

I'm still doing OLD but very slightly, I'm far too cautious really, I never want to let anybody 'in' for various reasons.

I have huge respect for all of you getting out there & doing it & picking yourselves up & carrying on if things go wrong (I'm crap at the if things go wrong part!)

ButterflyOfShay

yes I do . Last Easter I was away alone and I wrote a list of what made me cry and sad

it was a long list I’m telling you

old couples
young couples
children
etc

just get it out here xxxx
i beleive it’s better to get it out and release it
xxx

Thisisworsethananticpated
Old couples 'get' to me a lot. I think 'I'm 40 now & still havn't found my forever somebody, I bet they've been together their whole lives & I'm running out of time'. It's such a toxic thought process isn't it!

Thanks so much my absolute lovelies. I appreciate you 💗💗💗 feel loads brighter this morning, my dear old cat who’s my soul mate and is 12 has been sick the last week and had a exploratory procedure in her ear on wednesday, im so relieved they didn’t find any tumours but I think its made me feel all at sea this week. She is doing a lot better now 🤍🤍 she is getting old though and will have to leave me one day 💔.

With OLD I think i just worry to use it as I live in such a small place and feel paranoid about local people seeing me about and knowing I’m on there. If I still lived in london I really wouldn’t care. But when you live in a small town you see the same faces about and I feel a bit exposed putting myself on there.

what will be will be though thanks for the kindness yesterday.. love it here as no one ever gets sneered at or mocked it’s just kindness and support! I’m very grateful for it 💗💗

Ps on the drinking front… i am getting August out the way then going 100% tee total for the remainer of the year! Actually looking forward to it! 🥛

Old couples 'get' to me a lot
Except that even if you know them it is not always what it seems. When I am out with Mr Serb eg in a pub etc people assume we are married (???) say how have married, we look so good together, and have several times been asked by younger women what is the secret of a happy marriage!!!! Last year one guy asked us if we were married and I said ‘yes, to other people’ (we are both separate d) and her looked totally bemused😁

Sorry for typos -keep forgetting nowadays there is an edit function…

ButterflyOfShay

this thread is good , I’ve certainly wobbled here and been caught many a time

whatever state you are in , you are always going to feel lonesome and left out
you can’t polish a turd , life is lonely sometimes (alot of the time )

im sorry about your old cat 🐈‍⬛

I’ve started the day with a cheering podcast abiut porn culture 😁

Turns out ms NoShow also likes what I make for breakfast as well.

turns out there is still life in the old bloke yet (twice as much like life as I thought..),

need the weekend to recover, too much excitement for an old man.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow …self deprecating humour now? Come on!!! Mrs No Show had BREAKFAST with you? That can only mean 1 thing…and 1 thing only 😂😂😂

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

someone not
only DTD ! But had clearly no ED issues

go you !

Mila14

in have just over two more weeks of me time left !

feel better today and seeking female company
for friendship obvs 🤣

good luck with your date

JangolinaPitt

unless you are 75+ I don’t think you are the old couple type that make me cry !

I did see a rather tanned and thin late 50s couple
on the beach that rather inspired me though 😂

@ButterflyOfShay …so sorry to hear about your dear cat. One animal we love can never be replaced but there’s space there for a new one. Your cat will leave you one day but you can give hope to a rescue kitten perhaps when that day comes. About living in small place…can you not set your search outside where you live? Someone who knows how to this please advise?? You can go incognito in Bumble so no one can see you, only those you match with. About alcohol, it really affects people a lot. If you can not be someone who drinks only socially and sparsely and 1 or 2 glasses only at a time…you need to think what works better for you. It’s important you feel well in all fronts even if some days we feel very sad. The bad stuff passes…😍😊🥰

Have fun Worsy… use up the rest of your kid free time and have fun with your girlfriends.
my date with Mr A will happen in a week and a half. So time enough to go about enjoying the end of summer and meet friends and family 😊

I live in a tiny place too @ButterflyOfShay but I really do not give a f*ck - this might be a reflection however of the fact I don't feel as assimiliated in my community as you do. There is however absolutely no shame in seeking a partner on an OLD app, or being single in the first place, and I can't think that anyone seeing someone they knew on an app would think anything other than "makes sense, she is single after all...". There is nothing more to say, surely..

I had a glum evening last night, also starting to think that despite his very obvious emotional availability perhaps MrNice is also not as available as I need... lives over an hour away and very busy/compartmentalised life. Hmmm... I am feeling like Goldilocks wandering around with every iron being not quite ENOUGH, but it is focusing my mind on exactly what it is I need. Okay so I have found someone who does the hair stroking, romance etc - but perhaps not quite as much as I do in fact need.

To use Football terminology, it’s more like big match nerves, once I get “going “, and there have been a few “touches “, everything kinda works.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …I think I now understand you better. But you did have a conversation with Mr Nice about having someone else in your life and are not closed to having whatever you feel with Mr M. So you have probably given mr Nice vibes that he’s not that important for you?? I think if he knew how much he means for you it would be easier? Saying that, you know he lives with his wife and his kids albeit separated from the wife. Perhaps you need another chat with Mr Nice and you both need a bit of compromise??

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow …how do you feel about Mrs No show now? Is Mrs H still in your picture?

Ms No Show is now Ms Show, it’s very different, ms H is/was quite reserved and whenever I suggest something she would start to “what about “ if this / that or the other happend, Ms Show is a “yes”, person.

ms show is away with her son next week and I’m away the week after, so I suggested we had a little bite to eat somewhere to keep things ticking along, her immediate response was “yes please “, followed by a “would you mind if I stayed over” ,

to back to football parlance ms show is in the starting line, up and ms H is not on the bus.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow … I think we need to stop Mrs no Show. Now she’s the fantastic Mrs SHOW. Very happy for you. You look genuinely happy and she’s really all in with you. She’s very lucky and so are you . Enjoy a LOT and keep lurking here. We need manly view point too

We need manly view point too
now your really out of luck ( more self deprecation)

when are an old man like me etc..

Awww @HowlongWillThisTakeNow i really like the sound of ms show!! Thank goodness she did show in the end!! Enjoy it!

On a separate note is anyone struggling as much as me in this heat today! It is just so dry!! I dunno what to do with myself 🥵

Oh no don’t get me wrong I feel no shame about being on an app or being single. I think I’m just wary of anyone knowing much about me as I just feel a bit kind of vulnerable being too ‘visible’ and there’s a lot of weirdos about. Had a few incidents in the past with men and I’m super wary now! Though being on apps or being IRL doesn’t make any difference of course!
Oh lovey, sorry you feel like this. I thought he was making you feel quite secure? With the nice letters and things.. do you think it’s his set up that is tricky? When you next seeing him?

Anyone got nice dates lined up tonight?

I’m chilling in, got a pizza and watching tv with old cat 🥰🥰