Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Definitely agree with those that are new to the apps. I've had this many times. One date and they're off to the next shiny thing.

@Daydreamscometrue agreed 👍🏻 that's what I'm dreading about going back

@Thisisworsethananticpated
😘😘 happy birthday to you
🎉🎀 happy birthday to youuuu
🎁🎈🥂 happy birthday dear Worrrrse 😍😍
💖🦄🦋💐 happy birthday to youuuuuu

round of applause 💫💫🎉🎉🍾🍾🥂 xxx

Me too re men just joined apps! They’re all like woooow this is amazing SO MANY WOMEN!!

little do they know of the horrors and mental trauma ahead.. lol

I get that, the price of “female”, razors is stupid, just because they are pink..
saying that I wouldn’t shave my balls, knowing my luck I’d give myself a DIY vasectomy.

I cook a lot, nothing fancy - but I’ve not poisoned anyone yet !
live got some tuna for tonight, so tuna salad I think 💭

Everyone time I go past a motorcycle dealer, “ohhh new and shiny toys ” must have one…

Whoop whoop, loads of available women for me too meet.

quick distance filter. oh a few less, but still looking good 😊
quick age filter: oh a few less still, but still okay 👍🏼
quick hobbies filter: hmm bit sparse now well I’m sure they all lovely 🤔

Send out a few messages, 1 reply, thanks but no thanks: oh bum.

wonder what’s on the telly tonight ..

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow don’t forget the relentless hurtful episodes of meeting someone you think is half decent then getting dumped, ghosted, treated like shit etc.. which is why I came off them a year or so ago!
Granted not been on a date since 😅🙈 but it’s a relief not having to deal with all that horrible behaviour. I admire the resilience of our threadies!

Same with me at the VW garage! Do love a nice shiny Golf!!

ButterflyOfShay
thanks !
I see what you went through
sounds hurtful to say the
least x
may I ask how many people hurt you like this ? One or ?

Happy belated birthday to @Thisisworsethananticpated - Hope that holiday was a fabulous break🎂🤩💃

@Levithecat that is so lovely re Valley boy putting flowers on the bed… waaahhhh! I’m glad you’re seeing a psychosexual counsellor to talk about any tensions you might be having in that regard but hope you aren’t feeling too worried about it all. I never expect to climax first time I’m with someone especially if it’s been a while or weirdly, the nicer they are to me… I just feel the pressure. All sounds very positive overall…!

Found myself having the first twinges of slight neediness last night in a call with MrNice. He’s having something of a mid-life renaissance post separation and had already packed months of plans/trips etc in between when we met and basically Christmas. Meanwhile I’m living what is right now a very “work-heavy career-focused single parent of near teens at home in the holidays” treadmill of extreme plate-spinning. He’s bringing his diary over next week when we meet but I think until December we’ll be able to meet fortnightly at absolute most. I love my job and feel very hashtag blessed in a lot of ways but it’s a bit of a reminder that I need to not get too myopically focused on him for now.. it won’t work. I absolutely hate feeling like I have needs, articulating them, etc - madness.

Not really in particular experiences other than a 3 month wonder that finished when I did like him, maybe I’m just a miserable old cow who didn’t see the good things that come from it like others seem to 💗

@ibelieveinmirrorballs do you think he’s feeling insecure after you chatted about being open to talking to other people? Apologies if I got that wrong and you didn’t have that chat with him.

No worries @ButterflyOfShay - I did have that chat… it’s not him that’s feeling insecure, it’s me.. feel this constant pressure in general (much less so this far with him, to be fair) to have this big shiny perfect life with perfectly balanced social/dating/career/family elements.. I definitely think I tend to look too much to the person I’m dating to “fill the hole” (so to speak 😬🤩) and once I start dating someone put too much pressure on. Woken up this morning with a bit of fresh resolve - thankfully a friend called last night and mentioned her bf is dj’ing nearby tomorrow afternoon/evening so that’ll be fun and distracting for this weekend. Off to the beach with kiddos this afternoon too so hoping I just need a fun “nothing to do with men or work” weekend to rebalance myself.

Any more Turk sightings? I don’t think it’s that us threadies are more resilient than you… I think I just had a realisation that I do learn from the “downs” in dating and I’ve definitely honed my OLD chops as time has gone on…

Ah… your life does sound amazing though! 🙂you have phenomenal coping skills! Sounds like a fun weekend doing brilliant things is exactly what’s needed! Never good to think too much at times..

Nope not a peep of Turk so I’m wondering if that lady I'm kind of pals with wasn’t fibbing and maybe he’s gone abroad to see the missus?!?! Who knows!

I’ve actually signed up to do a park run of sorts but its a small community one in the small town I live. It might be a good way to meet people?
(but in reality it’s likely to be what it usually is… everyone already knowing each other and me looking like the weirdo standing on their own, not knowing anyone!!)
Haha oh well, what is it they say! Fortune favours the brave 😂😂

It probably will be but it’s still a good thing to do. I did my first park run a few weeks ago and the atmosphere was really positive - really enjoyed it.. need to go back!

Ohh parkruns are great for your wellbeing... this sat looks like a scorcher and we're still At the beach, so, next week. My OLD men are all binned for now, only 1 a serious contender. But with tweens fulltime, it's all just hard!

It’s forecast to be 34 degrees on sunday so should be an interesting run 😅 i’ve never actually run with anyone else so quite curious to see what the whole experience will be like 🙂🙂

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …I think it’s really great MrNice wants to do stuff after being probably very unhappy and unable to move on for a time. He’s chosen you and he’s super open about sharing his diary with you
Im back to proper iron chatting. Mr A with whom I have video chatted is really really nice. 6’1” and attractive guy. He’s into exercise and does not drink at all but doesn’t mind if I do. I drink very very little so that suits me. He’s just too nice I think but he has something going none of my former irons or even Mr Ex has. He’s in a cutting edge job and he LOVES IT. He has real passion and this is totally new for me. I love what I do too. This is a massive departure for me. I’ve never dated someone that looks that super sorted mentally and emotionally.
He’s taking me to a really nice and rather exclusive place for our first date in 10 days. I’m worried this is too good???

Go @ButterflyOfShay …I admire your enthusiasm…I also think it’s good thing that you stop OLD and can still find ways to meet people and getting in there in activities to share and meet nice people in general. You are really lovely

Good you have a contender iron! I totally get your tweens holidays issuesL. I binned a perfectly suitable iron yesterday. I realise Mr A is enough attention at the moment. I’m not bothered that much. I think things sort of happen when they must and all we can do is stay open

Mr a sounds a good prospect @Mila14

I've just agreed to a quick (and I mean limited to hour as have to collect kids) drink locally with an iron I've been chatting to for a while. He's an hour away so I don't really consider him a prospect given how little free time I have (i try to stick to irons closer to home) but he's super keen to meet regardless. Hoping it will take my mind off mr city 😖

@Slothmomma …yay…enjoy yourself and move on from Mr City. Saying that, he was very decent guy and did not fool with you at all. This OLD thing is quite a minefield and it’s really hard to choose right too

I'm trying @Mila14 buy he really got to me as I clicked so well with him - just a pity he didn't feel same 🤷‍♀️😄 his actions have made it harder as it shows he is a decent sort too 😖😄