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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Biggest life changing regret.

309 replies

Nellynelnel · 15/07/2022 20:04

Mine is not having children. The wondering of what my life would have been like if I did.

Do you have any life changes regrets? If so would you like to share?

OP posts:
Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 15/07/2022 20:05

Not having good role models in my dps and consequently making some questionable choices as a result.

Nellynelnel · 15/07/2022 20:08

@Cameronnorrieisabitofalright

Apologies, what is dps?

OP posts:
Hohofortherobbers · 15/07/2022 20:09

How old are you op? What is your situation? Is it definitely not going to happen?

Hohofortherobbers · 15/07/2022 20:10

Dps, parents I think

LondonWolf · 15/07/2022 20:11

Not buying a house back in the nineties when it was occasionally possible to get a very basic terrace in my city for £25k, not a horrible city either, though quite a rough area.

Rtikg · 15/07/2022 20:15

Not being happy and letting anxiety take over my life. Though that still happens to an extent.

littlerayofsunshine0 · 15/07/2022 20:20

I regret not living my life out in my 20s. I settled into a relationship at 18 and I'm still in it (just about at 36) but because of that I missed out on discovering me, who I am and the entire world around me! I also regret not going on to uni and doing my degree. Boyfriend didn't want me to go so I stupidly stayed. I think I'd be a entirely different person if I hadn't settled down so young and in an entirely different setting in my life!

Hellocatshome · 15/07/2022 20:21

Spending most of DS2s young childhood stressing about how small he was. He is older now and still small but its not the end of the world and I wish I hadn't wasted time worrying about it.

Alcemeg · 15/07/2022 20:22

So sorry you feel that way, OP. The older I get, the happier I am that I never had kids (although it wasn't my choice at the time).

My regrets are to do with not understanding the property market. I "stepped off the ladder" at the wrong time, and can never afford to go back to the lovely home I once had.

Rotherweird · 15/07/2022 20:30

I deeply regret not having more insight into what sort of dad XP would be. In retrospect, he was not the right person to have a child with, and as a result, my DC has grown up with two homes, a step family that also broke up, and a father who does not love them unconditionally. I also missed out on the opportunity to have more DC and to be in a loving supportive relationship.

599075w · 15/07/2022 20:34

Moving back to the UK after livingabroad for a decade. Made the decision when I only just had my kid so lots of pregnancy and post pregnancy hormones. Had dreams of being close to family and being back home. Absolutely not worth it and now can't go back due to Brexit. Genuinely the biggest mistake of my life that will not impact on myself but also DC for the rest of our lives. I regret it at least once a day.

GroinPain · 15/07/2022 20:37

Hellocatshome · 15/07/2022 20:21

Spending most of DS2s young childhood stressing about how small he was. He is older now and still small but its not the end of the world and I wish I hadn't wasted time worrying about it.

I'm going through this now with my 3yr old DD. Thank you. I've spent her whole life so far worrying about it :( I also worry that I'll regret it.
I will try to snap out of it.

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 15/07/2022 20:40

Like you - not having children. I wanted to but dithered and suddenly it was too late. Also, not spending more time with family when they were all within easy reach.

LaQuern · 15/07/2022 20:43

Not starting to save to buy a house as soon as I was out of uni m, I really wish my parents suggested it.

It never even entered my head that it was an option.

resuwen · 15/07/2022 20:43

Rotherweird · 15/07/2022 20:30

I deeply regret not having more insight into what sort of dad XP would be. In retrospect, he was not the right person to have a child with, and as a result, my DC has grown up with two homes, a step family that also broke up, and a father who does not love them unconditionally. I also missed out on the opportunity to have more DC and to be in a loving supportive relationship.

This is so hard. If you had chose a different man though, your DC would be a different person!

Bringonsummer19 · 15/07/2022 20:43

I think we always regret the things we don’t do rather than the things we do.

with the passage of time you forget the emotion that went with a decision and you only remember the facts. Without that feeling of the emotion the facts are out of context

Mydogatemypurse · 15/07/2022 20:45

Worrying too much. Getting married.

Whatwouldscullydo · 15/07/2022 20:45

I regret sticking my phone in my pocket not my bag. If it had been in my bag it wouldn't have fallen in the station toilet. Id have then not lost the number of the guy I was seeing. The only man I've never had too choose what to sacrifice. Do I go for reliable but no chemistry. Do I go for chemistry but no real conversations etc

I sometimes wonder what my life could have been like if I'd been able to keep seeing him.

Samarie123 · 15/07/2022 20:46

Staying with my ex H for so long with nothing in common

Purplehonesty2 · 15/07/2022 20:49

Not meeting dh earlier. We have only been married for less than a year and I think back at all the unhappy times I had in my last marriage and wish we had crossed paths 20 years ago. It would have been a very nice life for us both. He's just fabulous and yet he was unhappy for decades too.

dudsville · 15/07/2022 20:49

I married someone when i was very young. Standing at the alter realising my hideous mistake. Leaving him about a year later was the crappiest thing ever. He never forgave me, i don't think i ever even dared ask for forgiveness. I moved away from him, my job and all my friends to start over. I hope he's happy.

Hellocatshome · 15/07/2022 20:52

GroinPain · 15/07/2022 20:37

I'm going through this now with my 3yr old DD. Thank you. I've spent her whole life so far worrying about it :( I also worry that I'll regret it.
I will try to snap out of it.

Please do try your best. Loads of people told me not to worry about it and I didnt listen to them. My DS now has some issues (not related to being small) and honestly now I realise how unimportant it is.

paddingtonstares · 15/07/2022 20:52

Not having the confidence or courage to travel when I was young..

Having children too young..without life experience behind me..I was a shit mother as a result..

paddingtonstares · 15/07/2022 20:52

Not having the confidence or courage to travel when I was young..

Having children too young..without life experience behind me..I was a shit mother as a result..

BoopTheFoof · 15/07/2022 20:52

Getting married to my first boyfriend especially after he dumped me. I bgged and begged him to get back with me. We bought a house and I knew it wasn't right. We had 2 kids and he left me for an OW...I should have had faith in meeting my proper soulmate instead of sticking wih who I knewive not hd a bad life, but I would have loved a proper family unit