Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Biggest life changing regret.

309 replies

Nellynelnel · 15/07/2022 20:04

Mine is not having children. The wondering of what my life would have been like if I did.

Do you have any life changes regrets? If so would you like to share?

OP posts:
wormshuffled · 15/07/2022 20:54

littlerayofsunshine0 · 15/07/2022 20:20

I regret not living my life out in my 20s. I settled into a relationship at 18 and I'm still in it (just about at 36) but because of that I missed out on discovering me, who I am and the entire world around me! I also regret not going on to uni and doing my degree. Boyfriend didn't want me to go so I stupidly stayed. I think I'd be a entirely different person if I hadn't settled down so young and in an entirely different setting in my life!

Exactly this, except I'm 47.

newbiename · 15/07/2022 20:55

Having children.

ThackeryBinks · 15/07/2022 20:59

Not starting HRT sooner and wish I'd never laid eyes on my ex.

Sunnytwobridges · 15/07/2022 21:05

I wonder what my life would've been like if I'd...

Answered a particular call when it came thru instead of ignoring it.

Not gone to college, I feel like it was a waste and ended up in a lot of debt for nothing.

Never gone back home after graduating from college.

Not let my DM influence so many of my decisions.

Never moved back to my home country.

So many and I'm sure there's more, I'm obviously full of regrets... 😂

Suzi888 · 15/07/2022 21:05

Being shy for the best part of 40 years of life. Crippling shyness brought on by too much attention. It’s only since I’ve gotten older that I’ve thought carpe diem. So much I missed out on, so much I didn’t do. DD is also shy, people comment on her skin, her hair, her eyes. I know they mean well, think it’s complimentary, but she hates it. People place so much emphasis on looks.

Daisytomhope · 15/07/2022 21:05

Having a medical procedure that made me disabled, lost my job and ended up a single mum on benefits struggling to support my dc who had to become my carers.
Going from a professional job with a promising future to a life fighting for benefits and health care for me and my dc.
I lost many friends and most relatives because I suddenly couldn't be the one to support them, I needed support so they upped and left me.
My dc are going to spend the next 6 weeks stuck at home because I can't physically get out and about but will put a brave face on and not complain.

MotherOfUnicorns4 · 15/07/2022 21:07

Not going NC with my mother sooner than I did.

mackthepony · 15/07/2022 21:07

Marrying dh. Didn't realise I could do better. If I'd have lost weight, I'd have had more confidence to meet more blokes.

DottyLittleRainbow · 15/07/2022 21:09

I regret not being aware I was autistic growing up. I thought I was broken and a failure for never quite fitting in with everyone and everything else. Wish I could have had more self awareness as a teen and young adult, I definitely made a few questionable choices.

Also regret not going to medical school like I always wanted to most of my childhood. Had some shite careers advice from a misogynistic old teacher who told me I was too stupid to do chemistry and maths at A level despite A’s at GCSE.

ElmtreeMama · 15/07/2022 21:18

Not pursuing an acting career, I look back and realise how good I was and wish I'd gone for it!

Hermione101 · 15/07/2022 21:23

Staying in the UK after graduate school. I have a family here, and I can't leave, but I miss my parents and siblings so much. I regret it every day.

ExofanAddict · 15/07/2022 21:24

I regret meeting my drug addict ex. I never used to think I would because there were good times and I never would have met his daughter. But now there’s barely a relationship and I think the other people I have would have found their way into my life eventually. They were always meant to be but we just weren’t and it’s left me with so many trust issues that I’m not sure I’ll get the chance to meet someone and have a family of my own!

Windypants21 · 15/07/2022 21:26

Regret not sticking with my decisions to dump my ex. He went on to cheat, beg forgiveness , cheat, beg forgiveness. Led to me never trusting anyone again. He married the last ow, had kids, happily ever after. I was angry ( with myself mainly) for a long long long time. Ruined 'me'. I look back at how I used to be and I'm a million miles from her.

CrystalCoco · 15/07/2022 21:29

Red flags.

Not knowing what they were or what to do about them.

A few minor ones in the early days, but....not knowing, acknowledging or understanding the first major red flag for what it was (less than 2 years into the relationship) and not leaving after the second major red flag, 2 months after we married.

I was young, I still had earning power, I should have left.

If I knew then, what I know now.

Secrettoday · 15/07/2022 21:32

Letting my DM end a relationship I was in when I was 16. He was definitely the one that got away. Our paths have crossed again recently and the chemistry is still there. We are both married though.

3amAndImStillAwake · 15/07/2022 21:36

Right now? Having children.

However, I have severe PND so I'm really hoping this regret is part of that, and will go away as I get better.

Cashewwws · 15/07/2022 21:43

I regret being in a relationship so young. I met my first boyfriend when I was 15 - together until 18. It was an awful relationship and I was totally head over heels. Was never going to work and he ended up being semi abusive at the end. The relationship made me so mentally ill that I ended up missing long bouts of school.

I regret not doing better at school and getting distracted (boyfriend!). I’m intelligent and I had way more potential but lacked confidence and motivation.

I regret the uni I went to. I hated the city I was in and had to stay there for 4 years. Barely met any friends. For my industry, I should have been in London!

Not a regret, but more something I question myself over…I met my DP when I was 20. Been together 8 years. Although I feel like we’ve done everything we would have if we were single (apart from dating lots!), I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t met him. I do miss dating sometimes and the excitement but have been told this is normal!

aquietlifeplease · 15/07/2022 21:44

Getting married, I don’t regret the dcs but my god I wish I’d never got married. Never thought I’d end up sad and lonely feeling like I’m not allowed to even be in my own home.

Deafdonkey · 15/07/2022 21:50

Not having MN when I was young, I wonder if I'd posted on relationships would I have believed the advice I know I would have been given. Seeing the flags and knowing my worth would have changed my life. But I don't regret my children, they are the only thing that makes the life I chose worthwhile .

Hutchy16 · 15/07/2022 22:12

littlerayofsunshine0 · 15/07/2022 20:20

I regret not living my life out in my 20s. I settled into a relationship at 18 and I'm still in it (just about at 36) but because of that I missed out on discovering me, who I am and the entire world around me! I also regret not going on to uni and doing my degree. Boyfriend didn't want me to go so I stupidly stayed. I think I'd be a entirely different person if I hadn't settled down so young and in an entirely different setting in my life!

Same story as me, 17, now 35…but mine just decided to fuck off back home to live with his dad 🙈 what a tit

andi62 · 15/07/2022 22:13

Lumbar spine going for a burton in 2012, heavy manual work since 1978, worked through the pain since 1990, when it first went, and I was told it muscular.

Ticktockbigclock · 15/07/2022 22:13

Getting married to someone who almost guilted me into. I had depression at the time and he played on it. Allowing my fucking mother to control my life. I do as I please now and I'm happier.

sanityisamyth · 15/07/2022 22:13

Marrying my now ex-husband.

ItisallPooh · 15/07/2022 22:24

Not buying a house. I was going to be doing it by myself and I got scared about all the responsibility of it at 23. Wish I had though, we would have had much more capital now.

Dyra · 15/07/2022 22:30

I would say choosing my degree for all the wrong reasons, and done something else.

Though if I had, I would never have met my husband, and as a result I wouldn't have my two children. I cannot ever regret them, but I will always wonder if I would have a career and be successful rather than being the absolute failure I am today if I had just thought about my initial choice a bit more.

Swipe left for the next trending thread