Biggest life changing regret.

[Nellynelnel]

Mine is not having children. The wondering of what my life would have been like if I did.

Do you have any life changes regrets? If so would you like to share?

Not being pushy enough in questioning medical treatment and accepting what I was told.

To be fair they say a persons true colours show when a child arrives;so many of us on here are in the position where our children's fathers haven't been what we've imagined when the children arrived on the scene.From thé thé posts on here these men have ranged from truly shit to mildly incompetent/lazy.

Having children.

Not thinking through the practical and financial implications of my relationships and getting carried away with the ‘romance’ of it. My financial situation would be so much better now and I wouldn’t have to pay a mortgage until I’m 67 😞

Not having therapy. This is something wrong with me. I never really had emotional support or was shown love as a child. Also i know i am somehow neurologically different. I have muddled through to 47 (MN and podcasts have helped hugely). But I wonder how i would have got on if I had have had therapy (not that the idea would have occurred to me as 20-year-old pisshead/student.)

And drinking too much.

Wasting too much time hating the way I looked because I wasn't tall enough, pretty enough,slim enough or blonde enough. I look at the photo's of me in my teens, 20's and 30's and I was a healthy-looking pleasantly normal young woman. I should've worn the bikinis, gone to those parties and on those nights out..just enjoyed myself rather than stressing about my perceived ugliness.

My biggest regret is getting a dog when I first got married with no idea what that involved. I was young and stupid and had selfishly always wanted a dog.

Staying with a "nice" guy age 18-26 cos I was scared of trying to meet someone else. I still haven't met the right one (age 39) but still glad to have had the chance.

Not losing weight when I was younger. Took me til late 30s to get a handle on the no sugar idea.

Becoming a binge drinker. Quit in the end but wasted a lot of years.

Taking so long to realise what matters to me (other than family) - church and charity. Now trying to make up for lost time!

I wish I'd understood more about saving/pensions when I was younger.

Not meeting my husband at 18 instead of my ex.

But I did do a few things right:

• studied hard


• looked after skin and teeth


• spent 5k on a once in a lifetime opportunity holiday/experience where i dithered but went for it in the end!

@Thejoyfulstar I didn't pass my driving test until I was almost 40. I had an impression of myself as a rubbish driver and I was terrified of crashing, so I put it off and off until we moved from the city to the country and I needed to ferry the kids around. Turned out my driving skills are okay and I actually love it now. To get over my fear, I set myself little tasks or treats like drive to the beach for an ice cream. Maybe try that? I don't really regret coming late to driving as I had no trouble in the city getting around on public transport.

Not realising I was gay earlier. Had some terrible relationships with awful men, kept sleeping with women and still didn't realise it.
Not sure about children. Unlikely to ever happen. DP isn't the right person regardless and it isn't going to happen by accident plus pregnancy/birth terrify me.
Not using my degrees. I feel guilty on my parents who paid for them and they got me nowhere. I am 40 years old now and trying to get into academia but I am pretty clueless!

wish I’d taken more risks with dating and relationships in my 20/30s.. was hung up on image and not getting pregnant. Now I’m in my mid 40s , childless and getting divorced.

I regret being controlled my parents for so long, even a good 7 years into my marriage. They very clearly taught me to ignore my gut/heart and I've spent years trying to correct this. I was essentially told to shut out all emotion and have really paid a price for this. I definitely would have studied something else , avoided getting manipulated by certain people and overall avoided suffering in so many ways. I'm a much stronger person today but I had to go through a full reset in my mid 20s and it's been very painful. As a parent, it's made me super aware of the emotional side and I do love it when my children's teachers tell me how honest my kids are...for better or for worse :-p

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Thinking that getting married and having kids should be the main goal in life. Bowing to the pressure from society and my parents to find a man and procreate.

I didn’t actually get married until I was 37 and we weren’t able to have kids but I spent my early twenties putting up with shitty behaviour because I felt my self esteem was worth less than conforming to societal pressures.

I wish I’d had a role model that told me that there’s more to life that getting married and having kids, it’s ok to be on your own.

I was asked to interview for an events management role after an event in Spain 20 years ago, the guy who I was training up, went for the interview I turned down ( as I was dating a guy who turned out to be gay). The next time we met was in Sydney years later, while I was a broke backpacker and he was event managing a global event. Absolute fair dues to him, he ran with an amazing opportunity that I didn't have the foresight or balls to appreciate. That would have sent my life in a different direction. seems like one of those sliding doors moments

My first career. I joined a management training program with one of the biggest names in the hospitality industry straight from University. I thought it was a good opportunity with a global business but the reality was completely ridiculous hours, stupid amounts of stress, being treated like shit by obnoxious customers and a joke salary. I stuck it out for five years, wasting most of my 20s to work, which I bitterly regret. I lost touch with so many friends because I was constantly working. I wish I could have those years back and actually enjoy them.

I would probably have been a big deal in the music industry had I pursued a singing career when I was younger. Without coming across as a total tit, I’m a damn good bathroom mirror rockstar.

Can I steal both of these please

My A level fuck up, I wonder how it might have been different if I’d re-sat after year 12 and completed 4 instead of 2 (uni choices limited as a result).I have a good career, postgrad quals and it doesn’t really matter but I still have anxiety dreams about it in my 40’s so it’s obviously still present in my head.

Not having children earlier, I thought I didn’t like kids so only had DD late. In hindsight I could’ve been a mum of 3-4 and been very happy. I adore just having DD and it’s right for us now but if I’d realised earlier then perhaps I’d make different choices.

I wish I’d been braver overall. I have held back too much of revealing myself I think. I wish I was less scared.

Not accepting my dad’s offer of a deposit towards a property when I had a decent job in the early nineties. I was very shortsighted and immature and never recognised my own potential.

Having children

I used to have loads until 3 years ago and then knew if I'd have changed anything at all chances are the best thing in my life wouldn't have happened. So I can't really have regrets before then.

I guess my only real regret since 2019 is not moving house before the property market went bananas. I thought our house was okay (but tiny) and we had a 5 year plan to save and get something bigger, also not friendly with my attached next door neighbour but rubbed along civilly. Since lockdown he's become a nightmare and really regretting not just getting on with it, also worried his recent activities might lower the price of our house.

Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again….

So said a wise man called Frank.

I’ve definitely got some regrets; some big, some small. I try not to dwell on them too much.

Really interesting to read everyone’s regrets on here though, and what struck me is that quite a lot of them need not be regrets forever - in many cases there’s still time to address them and do or undo whatever your regret is.

The fact the OP doesnt know what a DP is.........dont be surprised if we dont end up in the daily mail.

Bit of a brutal one to pull if thats the case given its a regret one.