Overweight husband

[Brickys]

I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for 6 and we have a 2 year old.

Over the years, he has let himself go. As mean as it sounds saying this, he’s got a huge belly and is now very flabby. I’m just simply not attracted to him anymore.

I want to be, but when I see him naked I just think what on earth has happened. We have sex once a week but I don’t enjoy it and I now fake my orgasms because he does nothing for me anymore and I just want sex to be over and done with.

I have said a few times that we should get back into shape and eat better and exercise more (admittedly, I still have some baby weight I never lost. I was a size 10 and am now a size 12) which has been my way of saying please lose weight, but it lasts 2 days and he’s back to normal. I don’t know what else I can do. I want to be attracted to him and at this point in our marriage in our 30s, I really shouldn’t be having these feelings. I don’t want to be unattracted and turned off by my husband.

Any advice?

Then it shouldn't be any different should it?

All of us can and do love fat people.

But plenty don't want to have sex with them because they find them unattractive.

It's not body shaming, just a fact.

There is zero need for him to spend hours in the gym, he mostly needs to step away from the crap.

Wow OP !

After 2 children should my DH leave me as I'm not like I was when he met me ...

What happens when he gets wrinkles, gets grey, gets old , gets bad health from age...

I love my DH as he is a lovely person, his heart and soul are the most beautiful thing about him ...

I think you need to move on, he deserves better

Thanks yeah, it’s a tricky subject and just wanted to post so original knows she’s not alone and doesn’t make you a bad person, taking lots of ideas of this thread. Weirdly we had a chat this morning, want him to feel good, he doesn’t, he also needs to know in a kind way that it will be good for us both as despite being slim I’ve had body confidence issues my entire life and judge myself far more harshly than myself!!

There was an item on channel 4 news last night about increasing levels of non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and the consequences of it. Might be worth getting him to give it a watch.

And what happened to "in sickness and health"?

I just can't wait to see the responses if this was posted by a man.

ZOMBIE

Do men give birth now? Or we just have to pretend that them putting on weight is exactly the same as a woman being pregnant?

Ugh, another fucking zombie!!

This has had a couple of comments today and I know it is somewhat of a zombie but I wanted to update.

Over the past few months, I’ve taken the lead on food and shopping in our home. It has meant that we have fallen into an uneven split of responsibilities, but I have been planning meals and we cook freshly made meals most evenings. I also don’t buy any junk and jokingly tell him off when he buys dessert that we need to lose weight. I think him seeing I have no interest in anything junk has made him self conscious of eating it alone, and so he is generally eating a lot better now. Before, I would have some, now I actively refuse when he offers me chocolate, etc.

Re exercise, I keep trying to persuade him to sign up for a half marathon or something but he has no interest in that. He is trying to walk more on weekends, and I persuade him on most weekends to take DC for a walk whilst I do chores and so on.

He has lost weight (not loads but noticeable difference) and he is less sweaty and out of breathe, so our sex life is improving too because I’m finding him more attractive again.

I never did have an actual talk with him, so think he just needed a bit of a health kick with me leading the way for him.

Well done OP! That’s positive news :)

Your judgemental hopefully he left you

Skipping breakfast really doesn't help with weight loss. Quite the opposite

I've been in this uncomfortable position - figuratively and literally. My ex piled on the weight and had a noticeably large paunch. It was distressing when we were having s*x as if it was missionary he would literally squash me and I couldn't breathe. Meanwhile, I was expected to stay trim. 🙄

I did approach it from the health angle, particularly as his father had a triple bypass, and I was fairly confident he'd probably got type 2 diabetes as a result - and on that I was right. It took MONTHS of asking/begging/cajoling to go to the GP for the latter diagnosisand he said he'd do something about it. Did he?

Of course not. It was always 'tomorrow the diet starts'. I am a vegetarian and even made most meals that way in the hope that he would lose weight, but he drank too frequently for it to make any difference. It wasn't until he started to get bad back pain owing to his weight gain that he started to even think about losing weight. I said I was joining slimming world as I want to lose 1/2 a stone myself and he said he'd go: he didn't. I have no answers, but you have my entire sympathies.