If you could destroy your ex given the chance, would you?

[Shouldishouldnti2]

NC for this as this could be outing and wicked.

Bit of background…

My ex, been with for 10 years who I adored. I was pretty much the perfect partner, loyal, loving, supportive. However he constantly lied & cheated. Came home and he’d emptied his belongings 3 times. Each time was so cold and stonewalled, slept with other people each time he left, then stupidly managed to worm his way back in with his empty promises. Second time he left I found out I was pregnant, he forced me to have an abortion. After grovelling like an idiot I took him back, he proposed and planned a huge wedding, he cancelled the wedding without telling me, emptied our house and off he went again. Now this time he’s got his own rented house and I’ve just found out he’s been sleeping with someone else. Whenever he gets caught out he’s done his usual and begged to come back, get married, try for a baby etc.

Now I should point out that he has an exceptional job, one that my family funded for his training, so he wouldn’t have without me, one that any woman would find desirable, he’s very good looking, so he gets away with his behaviour because everyone thinks he’s the dogs danglies. His job is very well paid, however I started a company a few years ago that has had unbelievable success. We had/have an amazing property which I have managed to keep on alone. He is very materialistic and it’s the lifestyle I give him he loves, not me, I know that.

he is grovelling to come back…but I have such dirt on him that I could finish his career tomorrow. Without his job I don’t think anyone would give him the time of day, he would never be allowed to work in the industry again and it would finish him. I also could then discard him like the piece of shit he is and live our amazing life by myself, which would destroy him even further.

the question is, is it worth me destroying his life and leaving him wishing he never messed with me in the first place, or leaving him to charm his way through life causing a trail of destruction wherever he goes. He wouldn’t really give two shits if I turned my back for good, as he’ll have a string of woman that will want to be with him.

do I / don’t I?

Oh, I should also point out that he got the wedding venue and suppliers to pay him back all of the money for the wedding, that my father kindly paid for (huge sums) and he has kept the lot! Will not give it back!

You don't, just let him go. I think any negative behaviour also effects you, it's possible it but backfire somehow.

Best revenge his to ignore his existence and find someone else.

Nobody else can tell you what you need to be able to look yourself in the eye.

But what would you be doing it for, really?

Would it reverse everything he's done to you? Or would it just make you someone who ruins lives, too?

I don’t think destroying someone out of malice would suit me. I think I would feel guilty and like I had stopped to their level.

Dump, move on and be happy - best revenge ever

You don't need anyone's permission.

But also, will it really make you feel better?

Best form of revenge is not allowing him back in to your life. Destroying him may make him vengeful and you will never be free of him.

I would consider stringing him along with the idea that you are considering taking him back but that you can't whilst your father is owed the money. Get the money back one way or another then dump And personally, I might drop a seed of suspicion about him out into the industry. I'm clearly more vindictive than other posters

100% I would do it. You'll have loads of posters saying to take the high ground but he's treated you like a mug, cheated on you multiple times and intentionally hurt you.

Despite that you've pulled yourself up with no help from him. Why should he get to sail off into the sunset?

I’m not sure?! I guess to see how he actually copes in life when he isn’t given everything on a plate, yes, but would it change my life, no of course not.

The other beauty of it is he’s just pissed off nearly everyone in his life, so he would never ever know it was me.

it’s spiteful for sure, but he’ll always be in my life due to our families, so can I bear to see his smug face giving no shits to how many people he has hurt…it’s a tough one.

if someone else did it rather than me I wouldn’t feel sorry for him, put it that way

I'd do it.

He's been happy to fuck you over multiple times in the past. Fuck him. I'd release the dirt.

I would and I’d take great pleasure in it. Why should he get off Scot free treating you like that

Oh I would pretend to get back together and get your Dads money back before snitching on him at work.

I was going to write yes until I read this and honestly uou sound deluded and living in some tv drama

get some therapy and move on and stop this fantasising and obsessing op. For your sake.

Why on earth did the venues and suppliers not pay back the person who had actually paid it?? Is there not an issue there? Can you take it up with the venues and suppliers as to why they did that?

And this is the beauty of it, I can pretend to take him back, unload this absolute atomic bomb on him that he would never dream it was me, then dispose of him…it would be something from a movie, but I just don’t know if I can be that vindictive?!

Ignore and block him. Dont waste energy on any more of his drama but he should not have been allowed to get the wedding money back.

Agree this is highly unlikely. It all sounds like some bitter obsession that’s gone a little too far.

I would. And I wouldn't be sorry.

No. I wouldn't give him any headspace.

He sounds horrid and you had a lucky escape.

I’m usually a “best revenge is to live well” kinda girl but in this case I think I would!

I'm desperate to know what his job is now.

He got the wedding money back because my dad gave it to him to book it all. Although the contract was in joint names, he very much took the lead in booking this crazy big wedding. It was his dream wedding. Like I said, he’s very materialistic, and I’m my fathers only daughter, so he wanted us to have whatever we wanted.

I would love to tell you what he does for a living, but I can’t, but it’s a big one!

Oh. Lesson learnt the hard way there then.

Can we assume your father is absolutely livid and will be pursuing this in the small claims court?

Has your father tried to get his money back