If you could destroy your ex given the chance, would you?

[Shouldishouldnti2]

NC for this as this could be outing and wicked.

Bit of background…

My ex, been with for 10 years who I adored. I was pretty much the perfect partner, loyal, loving, supportive. However he constantly lied & cheated. Came home and he’d emptied his belongings 3 times. Each time was so cold and stonewalled, slept with other people each time he left, then stupidly managed to worm his way back in with his empty promises. Second time he left I found out I was pregnant, he forced me to have an abortion. After grovelling like an idiot I took him back, he proposed and planned a huge wedding, he cancelled the wedding without telling me, emptied our house and off he went again. Now this time he’s got his own rented house and I’ve just found out he’s been sleeping with someone else. Whenever he gets caught out he’s done his usual and begged to come back, get married, try for a baby etc.

Now I should point out that he has an exceptional job, one that my family funded for his training, so he wouldn’t have without me, one that any woman would find desirable, he’s very good looking, so he gets away with his behaviour because everyone thinks he’s the dogs danglies. His job is very well paid, however I started a company a few years ago that has had unbelievable success. We had/have an amazing property which I have managed to keep on alone. He is very materialistic and it’s the lifestyle I give him he loves, not me, I know that.

he is grovelling to come back…but I have such dirt on him that I could finish his career tomorrow. Without his job I don’t think anyone would give him the time of day, he would never be allowed to work in the industry again and it would finish him. I also could then discard him like the piece of shit he is and live our amazing life by myself, which would destroy him even further.

the question is, is it worth me destroying his life and leaving him wishing he never messed with me in the first place, or leaving him to charm his way through life causing a trail of destruction wherever he goes. He wouldn’t really give two shits if I turned my back for good, as he’ll have a string of woman that will want to be with him.

do I / don’t I?

No.

tell Him that you will disclose the info unless he pays you and your family all the money he owes you

I'm going with - airline pilot and cocaine addiction

Ah a PP beat me to it! But this is the "sexiest" job I can immediately think of.

Quite. Legally they have to refund to the person who paid it. Or its money laundering.

I think I would. I hate injustice and it sounds like whatever career he is in he probably shouldn't be anyway.

As long as no innocent parties (children) etc would get swept up in it I would definitely do it.

I haven’t yet. He’s having a pity party about ‘how much he’s ruined his life by his actions’ I’m not convinced he wouldn’t kill himself at the moment, which as much as he’s a knob, I don’t want him to do something really stupid, I’m still very close to his family who are lovely, and that would just be awful for everyone.

always about him though!

Is the thing he's doing that would cost him his job dangerous to other people?

Don't do it, is my advice.

Reminds me of a friend of my mother. An ex partner of a decade or so became terminally ill. She moved in "to care for him" but actually to gloat at his demise. She used to phone my mother and laugh about how his hair was falling out and he was shitting the bed. "That'll teach him to think about how he cheated on me!" It was repulsive to hear about even third hand.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

Pursue him for the money owed, but leave it there.

(Presuming he's not actually endangering people, in which case you have a moral duty to report him)

Have I understood this correctly?

He is a potential danger to people, but the only reason you can think to report him is to be personally vindictive, and the only reason you can think not to report him is because you feel sorry for him and/or are worried about souring relations with his delightful family?

uh oh, papa dad has just found out and the 💩 has hit the fan!!

think the situation has just been taken out of my hands 😳

Is it something dangerous to others that he's been doing?

Op, if he is involved in any illegal or criminal activities then yes I would report it but not for revengeful reasons but because it is a right thing to do. I wouldn't play any other revengeful games with him because yes it will make you feel good and satisfy for some time but eventually it will backfire and you may end up hurt in some ways. Basically I would focus on my own life, health, hobbies etc.and cut him out of my life completely.

I think karma is going to come and get you all, as you both sound odious

What happened???

Yes, do it, I did.
My abusive ex was self employed and had been fiddling his tax returns for years.

I had all the proof of this so I waited until the divorce was finalised , the house sold and my share was in my bank account. It cost him every penny of his settlement to pay the back tax and penalties to hmrc. He's 65 years old now and lives in a bedsit

See that is true justice

When these abusive bastards get off with so much