Dating thread 230: Summer shenanigans!

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

New thread 💖

Wonder if I’ll have snogged Mr Turk by the end of this one 🙄😅😅

Checking in 😍

Let’s hope so shay !!

Also checking in! I'm a year in with Mr D but I'm not ready to leave the thread, at least til @ButterflyOfShay has smooched Mr Turk 😍

@Heartbeats0708 😘💕😘💕

Checking in also 🙂 thank you for the new thread, @ButterflyOfShay ❤️😘

lovely to see you, @Heartbeats0708 ❤️😘

@ButterflyOfShay i bet you will have… 😉 my own personal goal is to at least go on one date by at least the end of this thread 🤞🏻❤️

Checking in

oooh interesting to predict/speculate.
There are questions that I need answers to from Mr Serb that I now have a mission to obtain before this thread’s end!!!

JangolinaPitt

oh are you dating a Serbian ?

No but that is his random pseudonym as zI couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t already taken😀

Ok 😂

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers …. We can do this!! 💘💘🤍✨

Thanks for the new thread Shay and thanks for bringing some excitement to my life with the ongoing Mr Turk soap opera 😁

I'm chatting to an iron who looks good on paper and while chatting is quite slow it's completely appropriate and fine. His pictures aren't very good quality though and he's over an hour away so I'm not excited. We've agreed we need to meet up rather than just chatting, but I've got the DC all next week and he's quite busy so we'll see. I'll call him Mr Lawyer.

That's good to hear @WeWantTheFinestWines - I'm trying to feel good about the slow and steady and not setting worlds on fire in my own situation so I'm going to coo positively about yours

Thanks for the thread @ButterflyOfShay and ditto, this is all getting VERY exciting.

My Mr Nice has gone camping with his DC this weekend and has forced them to go device free so is having to sneak off to send me occasional texts from his phone as he's supposed to be Setting An Example. I'm bumbling about getting my house sorted for a party next weekend. Weather is so glorious! Here's to a good weekend for everyone.

I'm here for Butterfly's snog too

🦋🦋🦋😘😘😘💋💋💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

@ButterflyOfShay Checking in.

All good here with Mr K.
He's currently house hunting and likely moving further away, not by much compared to some but one of the pluses was that he lived 10mins away from me.
He's got to find somewhere first so I'm not worrying just yet.

Sorting's dating advice:

Nowadays the questions you need to ask to establish things are IMHO:

1. Are you on the apps? You may need to expand on this as he may think having a profile but not logging in means he is off it. Also is his profile hidden or deleted?

1. Is he multi dating? Not multi dating doesnt mean you are boyfriend/girlfriend, it just means he isnt dating others?

Does he envisage he wants to multidate now or in the future?

1. Are you exclusive? This is different to the boyfriend/girlfriend question. Is he chatting/flirting/sexting/emotionally or physically intimate with anyone else?

Some people think exclusive is sexual exclusivity but I think sexting others is not an exclusive behaviour.

1. What are you? Casually dating? Going with the flow? Boyfriend/girlfriend?

Lots in between all those too.

1. For further down the line....what do you think is cheating? Years ago I never thought I'd have this conversation with someone but after my husband emotionally cheated I felt I should and so Mr K and I had the chat once we'd had the exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend chat. It was important for me (and him actually) that we had similar views on what constituted cheating and what was acceptable behaviour.

Think about what you want now and in the future and your answers to those questions and then ask him.
If you're intimate already then questions 1 -3 are perfectly fine to ask for now.

Question 4 can come later or if 1 - 3 go well.

ibelieveinmirrorballs

im very amused by Mr Nice and your concern at your lack of craziness and obsession
hes so NICE

i think you need to give him a decent chance
do it for all of us !! Or for me 😁

im assuming it’s a milestone decade birthday 😁

WeWantTheFinestWines

heres hoping for some chemistry when you meet lawyer
im still disappointed abiut the last one (the one who was lovely but you totally didn’t fancy )

If it wasn’t for the fact we’d had a really quite exciting snog I would totally have binned him off by now for being too nice. It’s quite mad.

Yes sort of a milestone birthday - a delayed one due to Covid. Question - what do I do about the 10+ kids coming who range from 7-13 but are mostly 12-13, many of whom haven’t seen each other for a couple of years so may as well be strangers?? Will they all be awkward weirdos sulking at having been dragged to a party and refusing to talk to the other kids? Even my own DC are mildly horrified at the thought of it all. I’ve told them they’re on canapé duty but in reality can’t see them wanting to be there at all!

Thank you, me too! Re disappointment about Mr Arty and wishing for chemistry with Mr Lawyer. There's every chance that chat will fizzle though. I haven't heard from him at all today.

ibelieveinmirrorballs

shove them in a room with salt , sugar and screens ?
it’s a shame kids can’t drink
Joke !!!

Just got slightly explicit message from Mr C. He’s really looking forward to seeing me but…it’s put me off massively. Again. I’m not looking for a FB or a FWB. I don’t see anything personal here. The bits that are personal are always about his past and his regrets…I don’t know this man and right now I feel like not meeting at all next week. I don’t know why I am so put off…it’s only a mention about being hard thinking about me but it’s just so unnecessary!!
Maybe I am a prude. I’m not looking forward to seeing him
I don’t know whether having a conversation with him about this lack of common interests and this lack of personal communication is worth the effort
I don’t know…