Dating thread 230: Summer shenanigans!

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I keep looking at POF and wondering wether to unhidden my profile but it’s the same faces on there, the same sh*t and no one I like the look of. I have been in and off apps for so long and they have got worse. Tinder isn’t much better. I really need to get out more but most my friends are male so when I go anywhere with them people assume we are together so it’s hard to chat up other guys.

Still no contact from Mr Cherry, he hasn’t been online on apps and not active on Fb. Maybe he’s just struggling with MH or he’s just hiding? My other iron hasn’t messaged me for a couple days either, he’s off to Glastonbury this week to work so I guess he’s busy, though he did say he would send me photos and try and video a band for me that I wanted to see.

Wheres the best place to meet people in RL? My hobbies are quite varied but some are hobbies that seem to just attract older men 😬. Most of my spare time is taken up with friends and kids so it’s hard to get out there and meet new people.

Can only speak from a male user’s point of view, but found Classic FM dating/Love Arts (worked out they’re the same pool of profiles under different sites - sneaky!) yielded a lot better matches than the usual apps - got more interest and the dates I went on were lovely people, even if we didn’t take things further. Can’t confirm if the men on there are similarly lovely/sane though, mind! And obviously will only be for you if you’re into Classical music or arts though, obviously! Profiles tended to skew older too - most I saw were 40+.

I’m male and older, used OurTime last year,, no tit pics and not much interest either, the only person I really liked told me she was really 48 not 52 as her profile stated.
wouldn’t bother again

I was just having coffee with a friend who's 55 and she's had good luck with OKCupid. Based in the SE if that makes any difference?

I've had best luck with OKC and Feeld. Found Bumble, POF and Tinder tedious, especially Tinder where most of the profiles contained zero information to go on.

Despite being on the more 'hook uppy' sites like Feeld, I've still never been sent an unsolicited dick pic (excepting Fab of course, where you can't move for them).

My opinion of being "on the apps" improved massively when I stopped using Tinder and Bumble. It was just such hard work - with very little reward - and sometimes feeling like you'd want to swipe left on about 450 profiles before even one of interest would come up.

Oh thanks all..off to look at these.. but agree meeting men in RL is better but not easy with working full-time and single parent to tweens..hey ho

Signoramarella
yes . It’s the apps for you lady !
I liked Hinge the most
depends where you are ?

Thanks for the advice! Tbh I’m wary of mentioning it in case it comes across as stalker-y.

So after saying that, it came out anyway, as I was making noises about knowing exactly where we stood and managing expectations at this early stage. She denied knowledge, basically. Not sure how it happened. Maybe had gone into settings and out again and that triggered it.

I'm sure the apps do odd stuff like shuffle you to the front of the pack when your subs renewal is due ... they're not always the most reliable indicators of anything tbh ...

Good afternoon!
I've recently joined Facebook dating as the easiest option to see how I get on.

A lot of the same faces as last time - met a guy and had a few great dates but I wasn't ready after bad breakup so stayed away and here I am again.

Will have a read of the thread and try to work out who's up to what. I'm not yet, still at the chatting stage and usually verrry slow. And ffs will they stop asking to WhatsApp, I won't send pictures of myself naked!!

So let's go! A summer of fun I hope 😂

Hi girls… the inevitable happened. I really did not want to meet Mr C and it was getting awkward. I wrote to him and explained I was really not “feeling it” and I didn’t want FWB… so I thought it was best to give finish now while no one gets too invested.
He says he does not want to fight with me over what’s right or wrong , that he was very sad ( I think he half expected it, to be honest, I wasn’t messaging back at all and last messages were very yes , no and ha ha ).
We both wished us the best and upwards and onwards
Decent !! 😊

Always really good to have these decent exchanges I think - really reassuring that it's possible to be grown up and civilised about it all. Onwards...

Thank you @ibelieveinmirrorballs … I’m on iron search mode 😂😂😂

Glad you sorted it @Mila14 and it ended on a nice note.

Not much update from me. Haven't heard much from Mr local but didn't really expect to I guess. Have only swiped right on a total of 5 people I think 🤔 2 matched and unmatched so assume ego swipers, 1 matched and opened with "fck me your sexy" (spelt that way). I replied that it was a bold opener and he replied that he couldn't help it as he was a "dirty fcker" 🤦‍♀️ give me strength. Fourth has messaged but I'm not sure if he speaks English or isn't very interested as he's asked to chat and then is taking ages to reply and isn't reading what I put properly for example asking me where I am. I've said and asked him same. He's replied and put again "what about you?' 🤦‍♀️ I'd forgotten how tiring the apps are

🤦‍♀️ hes just apologised for overlooking my reply- and then asked my name for a second time 😆 I think he's trolling me at this point 😆

@Slothmomma …wow…which app are you in?? I am in bumble so I pick who I speak to. Right now…no irons on the horizon.

He sounds like a keeper @Slothmomma 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

@Mila14 I'm on tinder and bumble. These gems are both tinder

I really can’t face tinder…it looks like rapid fire there…I tried once and was off it 15 minutes later 😂😂😂

Pretty much same faces on both for me

@Mila14 give it some time... I find it almost always takes a few days/couple of weeks to get any decent chats going.

I know there are more people on Tinder but I honestly just cannot be doing with it. Not sure if it's where I live but there are just HUNDREDS of awful men and such sporadic ones of interest it was mindnumbing. I'm sure I got RSI from swiping left.

Mr Nice has sent me a photo of my birthday parcel all ready to go to the post office. He has made it for me in his workshop. I am mildly horrified at the 'what if I don't like it' scenario. I mean, what if it's a really horrible thing he wants me to put up in my house? It is incredibly lovely that he has made something for me, and I'm sure (I hope) that it's something very small, and I absolutely wouldn't want him to buy me anything. God I hope I like it! Maybe I'll like it just because it's very sweet that someone made me something. Am such a ridiculous over-thinker. 🙄

Hi all, you gave me some sage advice when I started OLD earlier this year (left an 18 year marriage last summer).
I have found most of the sites overwhelming so dip in and out. Had some dates but all a bit disappointing. Then popped onto Match last week to cancel my subscription and was messaged by someone great. Video called sat and met for coffee Monday. Going out Friday night… but I’m already letting it consume me. I just don’t know how to do casual. My sister says I’m like an over-eager puppy. Not sexy.
He’s been initiating texts and the meet ups, but I tried a flirty message this afternoon and haven’t heard back since then… so basically I’m feeling like my awkward teenage self… I’m not usually a keen texter but now checking my phone all the chuffing time. How do you rein yourself in? Especially when you finally meet someone who seems decent and is hot!

Mila14
well done for ending it on a nice note 💪

ibelieveinmirrorballs

id be the same
I’m dying to know what it is !
a wooden egg holder
a wooden box ?