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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The ick = game over?

361 replies

Ella28_ · 17/06/2022 17:49

I'm dating this guy and sometimes he says completely innocent words or phrases that make my skin crawl and completely turn me off him and I'm genuinely thinking about ending it. So petty of me but I literally can't get past it. Defo gonna die alone at this rate 😂

Anyone else get the ick over the most minor things?

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 17/06/2022 17:57

Yep. It's just nature's way of telling you he's not the right one for you.

bellalou1234 · 17/06/2022 18:00

I did early on in a relationship once. My skin would crawlies he said certain words in a baby voice

Sunnytwobridges · 17/06/2022 18:22

Yup, I dated one that had to greet/talk to almost everyone he passed by when walking. I guess it was nice but most of the people seemed annoyed most of the time. Gave me the serious ick.

SpaceJamtart · 17/06/2022 18:22

No I always trust it, I think once it starts happening it doesn't often get better unless you are hormonal and sensitive at the time. Then more random things will start doing it for you.

I dated a man who I really liked until I saw him pulling his socks up to mid calf to walk out the door and it really grossed me out though I have no idea why. Then later he used a cutesy shortening for 'chocolate biscuits' and I threw up in my mouth. He patted his stomach after eating a big meal and I could never look at him the same way again, like he had morphed into some weird cross between an old man and a pompous toddler

Prezperez · 17/06/2022 18:23

I’ve never got past it. The only thing that’s varied has been the amount of time I’ve taken convincing myself I can, before I realise I can’t (and shouldn’t). Current record = 8 months (despite icking pretty much from the outset).

Katkinsgreyy · 17/06/2022 18:23

I got the ick with an ex. Tried my best to ignore it and pretend it wasn't there.
In the end the ick won

Tryhard40 · 17/06/2022 18:25

We need examples of the phrases plz so we can be the judge of whether they are ick-worthy or not 😂

IMO the ick is irreversible- it’s one of life’s absolute certainty’s that’s once you start being repulsed by something someone does it’s all downhill from there!

TheLeadbetterLife · 17/06/2022 18:25

bellalou1234 · 17/06/2022 18:00

I did early on in a relationship once. My skin would crawlies he said certain words in a baby voice

Baby voice is the worst. I also once immediately ended it with a boyfriend because of this. Where do they even get the idea that it's cute in the first place?

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 17/06/2022 18:26

I'd be the same. If my partner said something like "let's book our holibobs now!" it would be over. After 15 years.

You can't control the ick!

Ella28_ · 17/06/2022 18:38

Tryhard40 · 17/06/2022 18:25

We need examples of the phrases plz so we can be the judge of whether they are ick-worthy or not 😂

IMO the ick is irreversible- it’s one of life’s absolute certainty’s that’s once you start being repulsed by something someone does it’s all downhill from there!

The most recent one was using the phrase "pinch an inch" when he was talking about putting on weight.

Yesterday he sent me a photo of him holding a bag that he was thinking of buying and it sent me over the edge! 😂

OP posts:
Ella28_ · 17/06/2022 18:40

bellalou1234 · 17/06/2022 18:00

I did early on in a relationship once. My skin would crawlies he said certain words in a baby voice

The baby voice 🤮

OP posts:
Tryhard40 · 17/06/2022 18:42

The most recent one was using the phrase "pinch an inch" when he was talking about putting on weight.

Yesterday he sent me a photo of him holding a bag that he was thinking of buying and it sent me over the edge! 😂

Oh God, dump him immediately!

LidlMissSunshine · 17/06/2022 18:45

I love ick threads, I find them so interesting. Whenever I read an ick thread on here I notice there's always a huge correlation between suddenly seeing your partner as infantile and getting the irreversible ick. Someone should do a PhD on it.

D0lphine · 17/06/2022 18:49

What's the ick?

LidlMissSunshine · 17/06/2022 18:54

D0lphine · 17/06/2022 18:49

What's the ick?

When your boyfriend or girlfriend (it usually happens early on in a relationship) says or does something really trivial that instantly repulses you to the extent that you experience it so viscerally that fundamentally changes the way you see them and you can't ever come back from it.

Seeleyboo · 17/06/2022 18:58

I once dated a Jason Mamoa look alike. Before he was mega famous. We were about 3 months in and he said he wasn't keen on champagne as he didn't like apples. I said, pardon. He said, didn't you know that champagne was made with apples. I went home that night and never contacted or replied to him again.

SpaceJamtart · 17/06/2022 20:34

LidlMissSunshine · 17/06/2022 18:45

I love ick threads, I find them so interesting. Whenever I read an ick thread on here I notice there's always a huge correlation between suddenly seeing your partner as infantile and getting the irreversible ick. Someone should do a PhD on it.

I might remember this wrong but I remember reading someones theory that its to do with the part of the brain and hormones that sometimes causes paedophilia disorder.

with paedophilia disorder the parental instict in the brain can get misaligned which changes the parental instict to protect and love children, to a sexual instict. To find children attractive.

The theory said something about regular peoples brains who do not have paedophilia disorder, when that instict is challenged, e.g. by someone you are supposed to love and find sexually attractive, suddenly displays traits of a child, like baby talking or appearing helpless, and loads of other things you get sudden revulsion like the ick.

Like your brain tried to recatagorise this person you are supposed to see sexually, as a child that needs help and in most peoples brains that is repulsive

Cas112 · 17/06/2022 20:46

Yep no going back

summersunherewecome · 17/06/2022 21:03

I dated a guy last year and the ick got me when he snogged me with his eyes open....put me off and never saw him again 😐

Amichelle84 · 17/06/2022 21:04

There's no coming back from the ick of doom

FTMworrier · 17/06/2022 21:08

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 17/06/2022 18:26

I'd be the same. If my partner said something like "let's book our holibobs now!" it would be over. After 15 years.

You can't control the ick!

😂😂😂 I’m with you on that!

SO224350 · 17/06/2022 21:15

summersunherewecome · 17/06/2022 21:03

I dated a guy last year and the ick got me when he snogged me with his eyes open....put me off and never saw him again 😐

I remember a boyfriend doing that when I was about 14, he wasn't even looking at me but something in the distance 😂😂

pastypirate · 17/06/2022 21:25

Exp called the loo 'the little room' it was ick tasting

katedan · 17/06/2022 21:32

So lots of you responding are a few months in and dating. What if you get the Ick after 27 years and 21 years married! Would you still leave? I have noticed in the last 6 months things my DH must have done before but now make my skin crawl. We have 3 teens together. Please advise

pastypirate · 17/06/2022 21:34

I got the ick after about 2 years. It was the constant sniffing nose blowing really.