Just had a WhatsApp from my colleagues wife

[BlueMoone]

I work in a freelance creative industry (TV production) where I will be contracted on a project for a finite amount of time. My current role is 16 weeks and I'm 6 weeks in. I'm self employed and very very pleased to have the contract as sometimes I go a couple of months between contracts and have to budget to make the money stretch the whole year. Being self employed I don't get holiday pay or anything like that (just demonstrating how precious the work is to me.)

My role involves being paired with another freelance professional and the two of us work together in an edit suite reporting to senior members of staff but essentially it's just the two of us for the vast majority of the day.

This job was the first time I had met this guy, usually you work with people on the circuit but I hadn't come across him before. We get in great, he's 15 years older than me but seems young in his outlook and we have enjoyed chatting and having a laugh at work.

He told me about how he met his wife online and got her pregnant on their second date and now they're married and their child is about six months old. FWIW I live with my long term partner. He would sometimes tell me how his wife and he would argue but always in a jokey tone, he probably did share too much but not just about his relationship about loads of stuff - mostly just idle chat as we worked.

This evening I have received a WhatsApp from his wife (must have taken my number from his phone) telling me to stop calling him, he's a married man and he has a child and I need to back off and stay away from her husband. I had a missed call from him yesterday evening, called back assuming a work thing and he didn't pick up. Wasn't mentioned at work today I didn't think anything of it.

What do I reply? I don't want things to be awkward at work and don't want to put my job in jeopardy by giving the impression at work we are not being professional. We are doing a good job with good feedback. Should I message my colleague and tell him?

The wife is having some sort of crisis sorry you've been sucked in. I hope you can put it behind you. Just carry on doing a good job

No. Bad advice. The op has no idea how this woman could escalate or lie or anything. She must deal with it through her professional route.

@EmilyBolton Your response is OTT. If the OP follows your suggestion she'll appear almost as unhinged as the colleague's wife.

Wondering what she responds with 🍿

Surely the point of wrap parties is to sleep with reality stars? Why would someone be blacklisted for that?

Seems a bit po faced to me. Ignore the bonkers wife, anyway.

Of. course you need to reply. Two lines:

”You have my confused with someone else. My relationship with Steve is professional, I have no interest in him outside of work”

Perfect response OP 👍

yes, I do wonder if he has got form?

Anyone else cringeeee at the fact that women constantly do this? Take all their anger out on women instead of addressing the issue with the man? Honestly, it’s got to stop

I think it’s crystal clear that he has cheated in the past, otherwise she wouldn’t over react like this and he wouldn’t have blocked you. She should kick him to the kerb and stop harassing other women honestly 🙄

you Did the right thing OP- if he brings anything up at work just say you’d rather your name not be brought up into his domestics you only care about the work.

This. Just don’t get involved from now on, you know full well you will bare the brunt of it if you do.

he may not have form, the wife has a young baby and could be going through something herself

Surely the point of wrap parties is to sleep with reality stars

Yes, my assumption was that wrap parties were the last chance to act on any sexual tension that might have been suppressed due to vestiges of professionalism.

But then he could have just shown her his phone and she would have seen that it was nothing. Blocking OP is the quick way out and means he doesn’t have to show her anything

Sounds like a drama llama. I would ignore any further messages

Mumsnet ate my message. Short version. Am guessing you are edit producer?

Ex tv series editor here. Tell your producer or PM in case this causes issues further along. But you’ve done nothing wrong. She’s a bit mad and if my editor blocked me my eyebrows would be raised quite high.

and don’t worry about your job. There are loads out there. As long as you don’t sleep with the contestants

I would wait until you see him. Don't ignite the flame by texting his phone

Then going forward maybe get a work only phone to keep separate from your personal so this doesn't happen again.
What a shame, this isn't your fault but your facing the brunt of it it evens.
You don't know what is going on behind closed doors. He could have told her all sorts. Could be having an affair with someone else but your phone call made her jump to conclusions. Just don't get involved

She sounds utterly unhinged! Well handled op

Oh, and you are legally entitled to holiday pay

She's replied saying:

"Stop calling him you're blocked. He will be requesting a new job partner from Monday."

This is the worst thing if he actually does this because it's going to imply I'm difficult to work with or something to the powers that be - I want to send an email over the weekend now to explain but either way now I look like some sort of trouble maker possibly even a marriage wrecker and this is not the case at all. Feel like crying.

Exactly this! Ignoring and blocking her definitely makes you look guilty. This is a perfect reply to her.

She got pregnant on second date, had a baby, got married all in sixteen months. Now she thinks he's cheating. There's so much wrong here. Just hang onto this job grit teeth and get out clean

Send him a normal text, not WhatsApp, with the screenshot. He should know what is going on, it is for him to deal with and put her straight.

Maybe he’s gone out with his personal phone and left his work phone at home.
His wife has found it, put two and two together and made 5 and is assuming he’s out - with you.

He could be oblivious to all this shit hitting the fan.