I've been with my boyfriend coming up for a year. He's late 50s and I'm mid 40s. We've known each other for a few years and we play in a band together.
We're both invested in the relationship. I don't have any doubts about that. We don't live together but he's shown that he is committed to me from day one really. I've glfeltnreaply safe and secure throughout in a way I never have done before.
And then last night...
We were sitting on the sofa watching TV and his phone went off. We were sitting really close together and, when he opened WhatsApp to read the message, I just glanced over and saw the list. I wasn't looking for anything, I've never had any reason to doubt him. The names on the list are always ones I recognise, he's not secretive with his phone - I know the pass code had have never felt cause or reason to look at it. I'm not sure I could tbh.
Anyway, the name about fourth down was one I didn't recognise which caught my eye. It was a 'young' woman's name. Think something like 'Bethany'. Underneath, I caught the first (only?) word of the message 'Beautiful'.
I didn't say anything and our evening continued. We both left the room at various points and, later, when he picked up another message again, it had gone.
I've started to doubt myself since - did I imagine it? How would I even bring it up? If the 'Beautiful' comment had been under a name I recognised, tbh, I wouldn't have thought anything of it.
It's more that it's a younger woman's name and that I didn't recognise it. I know all his friends, he's very open about things so you can see why I think this is 'odd'.
What are the chances I imagined it (I read the name 3 or 4 times so I don't think I did)? What are the chances it's innocent?
If it was any other boyfriend, I'd have ended the relationship at this stage. I wouldn't even have had a conversation about it. I know that with no message, I can't prove it was there. He can't prove it was innocent because it no longer exists and I'd have said that to anyone else. But because of the impact on the band if we split up (I'd leave), I feel I need to he more certain.