Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@hotnakedgelato My motto used to be "I only need one!" After every bad date/disappointment etc... I must have been on about 100 first dates, some absolute car crashes and some lasting few months, loads of ghosting, plenty of liars and a fair few dramas and perverts 🤣

My favourite was a first date discussing dealbreakers in a partner/relationship (he asked) so I kicked off with "honesty, loyalty, laughter" felt pretty confident in those... asked him what about you... and his number 1 dealbreaker was someone willing to shove big rods down his penis... needless to say there was no 2nd date 😩😳🤣

I need advice

ex local iron , been exchanging a few texts
he offered to check my internet for me
which I need
but he’s sending very flirty texts
the term sexy etc
he’s a very nice guy

I don’t think this is a good idea
how can I say it nicely (I’ve kind
of dumped him once already )

hotnakedgelato

ha that was my name for you !!

here’s hoping babe

hotnakedandsatiatedgelato

2022 goal
no pressure

@Thisisworsethananticpated could you just be direct? "I would really appreciate your help, but I just to be really clear, I am not up for anything more than friendship right now"

Perfect

now that I’ve deleted ‘last seen’ that can be sent later

That's just made me laugh out loud!!!

Ah, so now, when you 'quote' a message in your post, nothing is quoted and you're left dangling with no reference. Great update MN. It was the rod up penis requirement that made me laugh like a drain 🤣

gelato love the new username!

I'm going on a date because he hasn't been weird or creepy, he hasn't ghosted me, his messaging has been appropriate and he suggested a place. My bar is quite low.

Even more fun. When your quoted comment posts, the quote is initially not visible. The next time you look it's there. Meanwhile you've posted an update that makes no sense. Followed by another update that makes no sense.

And I haven't even been drinking.

Love the thread title/sentiment. There’s an old saying: hooray, hooray it’s the 1st of May, outdoor sex begins today.

I'm going on a date because he hasn't been weird or creepy, he hasn't ghosted me, his messaging has been appropriate and he suggested a place. My bar is quite low.
😀

This is so me!

I almost wish I could get someone to take over running my dating apps to see if I'm being too picky! {mention: pixie5121} I'm the same, treating this as a secondary option in life.

This is rapidly becoming my mantra! Although it will be unlikely that I'll actually fancy them in that case as has been proven previously.

Well done on the 4 chats! I find they reply with one message and then I never hear from them again. If you match and you're not interested then don't reply to the message in the first place!!

Bring on the outdoor sex ;)

Nothing much going on here. Meant to have a date zero later this week with a couple of potentials. I say a couple because one often falls away or ghosts. Have had various promising chats just fizzle out which is disappointing when you go to the trouble of sending a lengthy, thoughtful reply. I don't take any prisoners these days and if they've not replied in a day or so then I unmatch. Hinge is as dry as ever. Exceeding my Bumble swiping but very few matches.

I’m down to two which I like, one I’ve met up with once and the other 3 times both of them want to meet up again. Not dtd with either, when it gets to that point I feel like that’s when I’d go exclusive to one? I’m more drawn to the one I’ve met up with 3 times (probably because I’ve met up with him more) but both of them have potential and no obvious red flags, get on with both of them well. I’m wanting to go very slow generally because I’ve made the mistake of rushing things with people in the past and I’m also worried about making the wrong choice as I’ve done that in the past too. Anyone else had experience of trying to navigate a similar situation?

i must have missed that memo 😂 where’s mine?? 🎀🎀

@hotnakedgelato v appropriate upgraded name lady 😎

@WeWantTheFinestWines really looking forward to hearing the verdict of the uninspiring date. You just never know! Have you video called at all?

@Brightstar29 sounds like your approach is very sensible! I wouldn't get too caught up on who is the "wrong" or "right" choice as they could all potentially be compatible! I'd continue to take it slow and spend more time with each of them and it'll become clearer who you like the most/feel most compatible with

I'm in a delightfully bad mood today! I'm also finding so many of these men on OLD don't bloody ask questions about me and it's me asking all the questions/generally running the conversation.

I just want some initiative and interest 😤

@Penguinwaddler I’m very cautious because of being hurt before, also the one I’ve been on 3 dates with said he went out with the last person he dated 5 times and it didn’t work out after that, for legitimate reasons as they both weren’t feeling it but I’m trying to use that as a reminder not to get too caught up with him, but it’s hard not to get excited and let my mind run away with me sometimes.

I also got hurt by someone I was seeing in January who in hindsight was a love bomber but very subtle and possibly but of a narcissist, and had a lot of issues as he was going through divorce after being cheated on. Both guys I’ve been out with now are divorced and I don’t think the endings for either were as dramatic although things like that are always stressful, but it’s made me very cautious. My long term relationship finished in August 21 but I know that I’m completely over that.

I have date 3 tomorrow, drink after work and to his for Chinese and erm watch a film 😂 this probably sounds silly but we have a very strong vibe and are very touchy feely for want of a better word, we hugged with clothes and I thought my heart would smash out of my chest so the idea of more happening is exciting but also terrifying. I've never experienced this before and I am in danger of getting myself in knots. Ah I feel silly even voicing this but hey, anonymous forum 😂😂

@Brightstar29 did he say the reason why it didn't work out with the person he went on 5 dates with?
Unfortunately I think we are all much more cautious in our approach to dating now but it's so tough to not get overinvested or too jaded!!

Just remember each person will be different and whilst it's v good to be cautious, it's also important to really enjoy yourself and see if they are a good fit for you and that the communication is what you want and that you actually like spending time with them!