Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow … ok I understand. I prefer to be told and if I have orgasmed try something else with my partner. It’s completely normal for a guy not to orgasm sometimes I think 🤔

Hi all, found you again, some longstanding posters may remember me.

Just an update really - after 7 months with Mr Mason (my longest relationship since my 21 year one with ex dh ended 5 years ago) I'm now single again. We had a good 7 months, did lots of stuff including several weekends away but after a recent longer holiday abroad with him I realised that we weren't as compatible as I had originally thought and neither did I actually love him. So we've gone our separate ways and I intend to enjoy being single and only having to consider myself and my kids for the foreseeable as don't have the energy for old.

I haven't had time to read back but hope everyone is doing ok and old isn't being too harsh 🤗

@Mila14
DE = Delayed Ejaculation ( not to be confused with ED )., mine would be classed as situational, I don’t get it all the time
www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/delayed-ejaculation/symptoms-causes/syc-20371358

we were using condoms ( awaiting the SH results),
faking it is pretty easy ( with a condom) you can contract the muscle at the base of the penis ( well I can anyway), and the penis will flex like the bulbocavernosus muscle contractions.

When I’m having a bout of DE, I can have an erection for an hour or more, swapping between hands, oral, PIV, (which might sound good to some), to be honest it gets boring after a while, and I just need to stop

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow … thank you so much for being in this thread. Your comments are always very helpful 😘

@@HowlongWillThisTakeNow the DE thing often happens to Mr Beard - maybe nearly half the times we have sex? It doesn’t bother me as I orgasm anyway before he stops. He will just tell me that it’s not happening for him and we sometimes take a break and then successfully carry on a bit later. Think explaining and reassuring her that it’s just a physical thing, it’s you not her, is a good idea.

@Stayingstrongish thanks- that’s very interesting, so you don’t think any less of Mr B if cannot finish,, did he tell you upfront or did you just notice it ?

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow no, I just accept it’s one of these things that happens. No doubt I will face physical sexual challenges myself as I age (like menopause for example) and would hope my partner would be understanding of those. He was upfront about it.

Thanks- I would have never thought that my sexual performance issues would be of any interest to anyone.😂

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow Mr B quite often doesn’t finish, I quite often don’t finish. It’s fine. Sex isn’t just about orgasms, it’s the intimacy and adventure as much as anything. Presumably she didn’t know you faked it. Perhaps don’t bother faking it next time, just enjoy it until you stop enjoying it, then stop

Hi Sloth I remember you! I'm sorry it didn't work out with Mr Mason in the end. Sounds like it wasn't hugely traumatic that it's now over, but that you now maybe feel a bit flat? I hope you can enjoy focusing on yourself and your DC. OLD can suck you dry if you're not in your best place, when it's actually meant to be fun...😑

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I think I'm one who would take it a bit personally if the man didn't come but I think you can both enjoy intimacy in other ways and you just stress it isn't her.

With Mr Music, sex was always amazing and actually he said he couldn't come in the past because of trauma etc. For some reason it always worked with us. He had to always fake it to avoid disappointing his partners. I think men faking orgasms is pretty common but they just don't want to disappoint.

@Slothmomma I remember you, sorry it didn't work out but you sound very pragmatic about it so that's great. Nice to see you back.

Hope everyone is well. I am child free this weekend and have my date zero with Mr Blue tomorrow. Both really hoping there is an attraction but he's so relaxed that I think I'll have a lovely time regardless. Today I'm meeting friends plus trying to fit in a hypnosis session plus getting my nails done!

@WeWantTheFinestWines I'm quite invested in your date as you seem quite charmed by this one. I will be checking in for updates!

Well I haven’t heard from my iron, I think the awkward kiss may have scared him off, though he doesn’t message much anyway. Trying to keep busy and not think about him too much. I have arranged to go out with friends next weekend, I haven’t been out since before lockdown so that will be fun and never know, might meet someone in real life.

And the orgasm thing…I think it’s fine for a guy to fake it, I have faked it several times 😬. I don’t think I have been with anyone who has faked it but maybe they just did a good job.

Waiting for Mr Arty's train to arrive. Soooooo nervous!!!

@WeWantTheFinestWines i hope today goes well and whatever the outcome you have a lovely time with Mr Arty.

@WeWantTheFinestWines ..: enjoy a lot. Looking forward to reading update!!
@Lovemusic33 , he was doing lots of plans with you … let’s see what happens
update on my irons… Wednesday I see iron Mr W but the really really cool think is that drop dead gorgeous Mr C is on constant messaging with me and calls me on the phone . The more I talk to him the more relaxed I am. Let’s see what happens when I meet him on Friday. Looking forward to seeing both. But especially Mr C

@Lovemusic33 have you reached out to your iron following the date ? Were the plans discussed to meet again in general with no specifics ? In my opinion you can’t ask the wrong question to the right person- if someone likes you then they are going to be happy that you asked them about meeting again. Waiting and wondering gives them all the power and leaves you feeling on edge. If he’s interested great, if not then at least you know.

WeWantTheFinestWines

im also invested in your date ! It’s struck my imagination

I’m feeling like shit today
had a massive fal out with Balkan which to be fair was mainly my fault 🤦‍♀️

but I could have done without feeling 💔 given the major son shit
it’s a bit too much

so I’m going to make myself clean the house top
to bottom
and know or hope that I won’t feel this bad tomorrow

Lovemusic33

id just ask him
get your answer

but that’s me and I’m reactive and impulsive !

Sorry to hear this but which couple doesn’t argue? You are under massive stress with DS and Balkan will understand.
cleaning house is great medicine …do what feels better for you

Loo update. No chemistry. Having a pint. Maybe that will help.

Mila14
we’re not really a couple
hence why best to NOT see him when I’m In a bad way !

but yes to cleaning and then I’ll buy some plants
when is your next actual date ?
can’t keep up

WeWantTheFinestWines
give it time . Not all chemistry is immediate

don’t make any major assumptions and assess later xx

@Thisisworsethananticpated Wednesday mr W … but I now can only think of the very handsome mr C. I will go on Wednesday but really… I’m all the time on the phone with Mr C and he’s really physically my type too. Intellectually both are strong irons. mr C on Friday 🙄although I feel like cancelling Mr W and seeing Mr C on Wednesday… I don’t know …
Balkan is not yet steady couple I see but are you exclusive now??
@WeWantTheFinestWines … this does happen… you may need a bit of time and going back home to assess the situation like @Thisisworsethananticpated worse says…

let’s see how I feel when I see Mr C … on paper he’s precisely what I like but we don’t know yet. I have a lot in common with mr W too…

I’m realising how difficult it is to translate the pics and conversations to real life. I’m trying myself not to get massively invested. But I think of Mr C quite a lot now 🙄 if I’m honest. I like it there are no games and it’s him instigating phone calls
But there are so many variables in this dating thing