Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thank you, I’m a bit socially awkward, it’s usually all or nothing but I know I need to be sensible and not jump on him 🤣

Badbaddog

thats the second time that in a very nice way your posts have made me cry 😢 as you are so spot in
your a very wise woman x

@Thisisworsethananticpated …I’m really sorry you are going through a rough patch with you DS. Sometime we have really awful week, or day…let it all wash over you and go with it until it clears. I find that allowing myself to have bad day/s and not over criticise myself works well for me. Whatever is wrong will pass. You are juggling your life and that of your family the best you can. 🤗

Just wonderful. Think about it…no chance of wasting your time there. He’s a properly decent guy and great to talk to…best of luck you are also attracted to him IRL.

Quite…Eesha be careful not to be a pawn here…perhaps he’s just very sensitive and wants to communicate with you all ??

Happy birthday @ButterflyOfShay 🎂…enjoy the awesome weather where you are and have a lovely day

Mr S came over last night and we ended up being hot and heavy, but within limits because I feel uncomfortable getting in a very compromising position with my daughter in the house. I foresee a lot of sexual frustration in my future. It's a difficult situation being a single mum😐

My daughter wasn't asleep before he arrived, so they had a little chat. It wasn't my plan to introduce them this soon, but we would only see each other once a week if he didn't come over in the evening.

I also suggested (as if it were an idea that just came to me and not something I have been plotting) that we could go away somewhere for the Jubilee weekend. He was delighted with the idea, so looks like we will plan on this.

@Mila14 @Thisisworsethananticpated I would say sensitive as well as perhaps showing his ex that he is moving on. But it's only a date zero and feels a bit heavy for me

Not even sure if I’m going on a date today or not, meant to be meeting to do a hobby together, we both have the day free (both self employed), so I messaged him asking where we are meeting and he messages back saying “he’s had a bad night sleep wise and is struggling to get moving”, I messaged back saying I’m happy to head out his way to give him longer to get ready but he’s not replied 🙄, so he’s either ignoring my message or attempting to get himself up and ready?

I’m going to be really pissed off if he doesn’t answer as I have arranged child care for dd2 incase I’m late home and I’ve also had a rubbish nights sleep stressing about today.

@Lovemusic33 … I hope he will see you at least today. Even if he’s tired and you don’t do the activity planned . It’s very early on on your dating so try to keep calm. Send him message you would like to receive if it was you being too tired to do activity

Happy birthday @ButterflyOfShay hope you are having a wonderful day 🥳
@WeWantTheFinestWines sounds like you have hit upon a really great match with Mr Arty. Keeping everything crossed that this chemistry is replicated when you meet in person. I sense it’s a bit late to suggest not getting over invested 😉
@Lovemusic33 hopefully you have had a reply from your date and it’s all systems go. If he’s not up for doing the activity maybe you could suggest meeting anyway so that your efforts to keep your day free for him aren’t wasted. Fingers crossed 🤞🏼

Hi angels thank you all soooo much for the kind wishes 💖💖💖
im off to a butterfly sanctuary later 😍 then holiday tomorrow! And heres an arty shot of the nails which i am in LOVE with 😄 xxx
@WeWantTheFinestWines happy birthday for tomorrow, you beaut 💖💖
@Badbaddog I let myself have a month off and ive been pretty much pissed every day😂🙈 as soon as im back from hols though going tee total again as feel much happier that way..
big luvs to you all.. im gonna be catching up properly from my sun lounger by the pool!! And will update with any goss!
🏖🤍🤍 mwah!

Daisy nails 😍😍

Nails look awesome… enjoy @ButterflyOfShay

@hotnakedgelato This part of your post concerns me It wasn't my plan to introduce them this soon, but we would only see each other once a week if he didn't come over in the evening

Some people only see their partners once a week due to factors and that's just life.
Introducing a child to a partner very early on where the only benefit is to the parent and new partner is wrong.

Could he not have come later or can you just not see him less?

@SortingItOut I am not sure whether it will negatively it i
mpact my daughter to meet a new partner if he's introduced as my friend.

The idea of seeing a partner once a week sounds absolutely rubbish to me.

Whoa, MN erased my message and posted a half drafted version. Very strange.

Basically, I said that I am not convinced that it will negatively impact my daughter to meet a partner as long as he's just around in a friendly capacity sometimes. My daughter meets female friends all the time, after all.

My mum has encouraged me to introduce them. I think that there are different legitimate ways to approach this?

Also, I would rather not even have a romantic partner than only see them once a week. From my perspective, that's just like having a friend that you have sex with sometimes, not being in a relationship.

Ohh love those 🤩

@hotnakedgelato … I think it’s ok she saw him as a friend of mum. I think it’s ok and natural. Me personally I’d like to see partner every other week or so when no kids are around in his case and mine. I’d like to go easy and slow on the kids front to be honest but each to their own . I don’t want a FWB either

update… spoke to handsome mr C on the phone and he wants to find time over next weekend to meet up but he’s a lot in London so we shall see. He sounded just fab and sexy voice
I can honestly say I like the 2 irons ( both are heavily invested in their families which suits me perfectly)
I can’t have a demanding partner right now and need my time off with my kids and friends. I want someone who adds to my life and have exclusivity with but we each have our homes and lives .

Lovemusic33

oh that would piss me off too
do these suckers inderstand the concept of child care ?

I’ve got a temper and i’d probably make a decision to text in an hour and say you made alternative plans as you don’t want to waste babysitter !

@hotnakedgelato Also, I would rather not even have a romantic partner than only see them once a week. From my perspective, that's just like having a friend that you have sex with sometimes, not being in a relationship

Some people are happy in relationships where they only meet once a week so its good to see different viewpoints.

I can’t and don’t want to meet every week. I’ve been clear to my 2 irons on this. We all have kids at least 50% of the time and our kids go first.

Everyone requires something different in a relationship and its good to know that from day one so your boundaries can be stated early on.

There are lots of people who due to other commitments don't have much spare time available...we just have to find someone we like who has similar availability - not easy on OLD.

I couldn't think of anything worse than a man asking for more time than I can give.

Remember a man should enhance your life and not be your life.

Once a week suits me, or ideally like friday eve/night sat day etc. So a sleepover basically. I have thursday-sunday child free so this works well for me. All speculation mind, considering I'm single af 😂😂😂