Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

But if a man asks for more than you can give, you can just state your boundaries… 😝🙂

Sounds to me like @hotnakedgelato and MrS are on the same page with how much they want to see each other, and that’s great.

I totally get wanting to see someone more than once a week if you want a bit of a sense of being a team there to help each other out etc. It doesn’t mean it’s over-relying on that person… I can see that it might be unhealthy if we’re talking about every weekend/hours a night chatting/seeing each other.. but ut doesn’t sound like this is the case.

I see Mr L eow but we would both love it to be more frequently now as we are 9 months in with stronger feelings for each other. Kids are not ready to meet him yet so it will be some time before we can see each other more.
It is hard when you both want to see each other more often and can’t.

I like 1.5 times a week
as twice a week every week too stressful with kids and childcare and kids wanting (needing ) attention
and work and mum
and self care
etc

@MayEye …9 months going strong. Super congrats. I think the kids test is the key. When do you think will be the right time to introduce them?
@Thisisworsethananticpated …I totally get your point and the self care too!
we can only try and not get stressed

@Mila14 thanks 😊 He is great and I’m super happy! Who knew tinder could yield some quality results 😁
I would like to introduce the kids soon in a v casual way but still keep things very separate for now. My teenage daughter however is not happy about my relationship so I’m taking time to allow her to get used to the idea. She may never come round - she’s very stubborn - so that in itself could be a big test for our relationship.
Mr L is happy to take things at my pace though and I love being in a bubble with just him 😍

@MayEye …Mr L is happy to take things at my pace though and I love being in a bubble with just him 😍…I love this…lucky girl!!! Teen daughter will have to see he makes mum happy and treats her right… You will be fine

So I actually went in my date after thinking it was cancelled and have just got home, I’m still confused with the lack of touching and snogging, he keeps making plans and mentioning places he wants to take me, even mentioned meeting up again tomorrow but when I went to leave and I kind of went in for a kiss it was really awkward 😬, I really want to f#ck him but he’s either really shy or i’m about to be friend zoned. So now I'm really frustrated. Other than that it was a good day, he’s good company and we seem to get on well but I kind of want him to rip my clothes off.

Good that you had a great time but what happened when you went in for a kiss? Do you think he could just be shy?

@WeWantTheFinestWines Happy Birthday 🎂 🎉

WeWantTheFinestWines
happy birthday 😊
and a good date tomorrow ! We hope

I don’t know what happened, just felt really awkward, maybe I took him by surprise, I was hoping for a full blown snog but ended up just being a awkward peck 😞. We were at his half of the day and sat closely, he put his arm around me a few times and made several nice comments during the day, made plans for future places to go together (even some over night plans). I was really hoping he would make a pass at me as I was at his for ages. I don’t think he’s the type to jump into bed with someone, I don’t think he’s had many relationships/partners. I just feel like if he fancied me he would at least make more of a move? I’m going to try not to over think it, I think my urge of wanting a good sh&g is probably clouding my judgement. I might be seeing him today but have a feeling he will cancel, it wasn’t really set in stone anyway sand the weathers not great for what we planned to do.

My other iron is pestering me for sex and I’m very tempted just to scratch that itch, I know he would be happy with a FWB type thing.

@Lovemusic33 I had a similar situation a few years ago after meeting someone half a dozen times or so. It really confused me as I was used to men making a move. He was quite shy. In the end I didn’t see him again as I assumed he wasn’t into me but in hindsight I kind of wish I’d seen him a few more times before writing him off as we got on well. It’s so difficult to know one way or the other and of course we are trying not to get messed around in the process.

My date has cancelled. He sent an apologetic message saying that to be honest he lacks confidence and that he isn’t sure he’s ready to date. It’s a shame as I was looking forward to meeting him and we share some interests, but I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later. I’ve suggested meeting as friends sometime instead.

Not sure I can be bothered with any more OLDing at the moment.

It really is confusing, I guess we kind of expect men to be mega keen when it comes to sex and making a move, I have been dating so long and this only the 2nd guy I have dated that hasn’t wanted to jump into bed early on. I do hope he is just shy, all the other signs seem good, why would he be making plans to do things with me if he didn’t like me?

Another iron has just asked me out for a coffee and a walk, I really don’t know what to do as I really like the guy that won’t make a move but I also don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket incase he’s not interested, at least I can move on quicker if I have other irons? I have hidden my profile on POF as there’s no one else I’m interested in on there and it’s tedious but I still have tinder.

@IodineQueen , not to worry. We also cancel on them. It’s the way this is. Better to get cancelled than going to a date half not in the zone. Take time off if you need it or just look for other irons.
@Lovemusic33 …I know the feeling! But I think he just likes you a lot and wants to take things slow. It’s frustrating but this one is really into you and planning stuff as well. See other irons if you like but this one sounds good
@WeWantTheFinestWines …happy birthday.

It really is confusing, I guess we kind of expect men to be mega keen when it comes to sex and making a move, I have been dating so long and this only the 2nd guy I have dated that hasn’t wanted to jump into bed early on. I do hope he is just shy, all the other signs seem good, why would he be making plans to do things with me if he didn’t like me?

Yes & No, if the guy has not dated much, he just might not be in the “jump straight in bed”, mindset ( not all men are, I’m not one) I like to go a bit more slowly to begin with ( age thing maybe, I’m a bit older) , I’m sure he likes you, he might be going down the “courting” path, rather than “shagging”, or he might be a virgin !! Or just shy,

timing is tricky, if you rush to sex too fast, you are accused of only being after one thing, if you don’t make a move then there is something wrong with you…just can’t win sometimes

Thanks for birthday wishes! I usually hate my birthday but I've had messages from Mr Arty and he's going to call for a quick chat tonight before I take the DC out for my birthday dinner. He really has put me in such a good mood that there is so much potential for disappointment tomorrow but luckily I've got fab friends coming for drinks tomorrow night so they can cheer me up if my date didn't live up to expectation.

lovemusic be patient! I think he's trying to be respectful because he really likes you. Make sure you touch him and flutter your eyelashes when you next see him though.

So I have a somewhat delicate question for the ladies…

Ms H came over yesterday ( nice surprise), and we ended up in bed ( lovely), just I just couldn’t finish and ended up faking it, ( she told me she had 2), is this an issue?.
I can suffer from DE ( not ED), and it was in full effect yesterday

IodineQueen
meh I’m sorry . These little Old bruises we get . Hang tight
❤️

Lovemusic33
give him one more chance ! I’d say the arm around you indicates attraction and nerves ?
but yes - the next date I thovk you have to ask and sound out . And find your self on a sofa with him 😁 with a low cut top

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

we can’t all be sexual and orgasmic 100% of the time , sometimes the mental takes over

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I'd be annoyed at you faking it.
Why not just say you're not going to orgasm or just stop and do other things?

Your sentence about Ms H doesnt make sense- are you saying she admitted faking an orgasm yesterday or at another time?

@SortingItOut
sorry, I’m doing too many things at once and not making sense.

I ended up faking it to bring a natural end to the session, she had 2 orgasms during the session.
so the question would be how would you feel if your (male) partner said they couldn’t orgasm while having sex with you ?, would you be okay with this, or would you feel disappointed or upset in any way. ?

I am aware the Ms H has previously been in a sexless relationship with her Ex and she worries about making sure we both have a good time in the bedroom ( which I do), so I don’t want her to think I’m not enjoying myself if I cannot get to orgasm while having sex with her.

howlong did the Ms H comment mean she had had 2 orgasms? So it wouldn't matter you not finishing? I would prefer honesty - just say it's not going to happen but you've had a great time and can't wait to do it all again! Kisses and cuddles, Bob's your uncle!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow Thanks for clarifyinh.
I'd be annoyed if a partner faked an orgasm, why couldn't you be honest?
Does she know about your DE?
She needs to understand its not her fault and not take it personally.

Occasionally when Mr K and I go for round 2 or 3 he hasn't been able to orgasm and if that happens we both just know and just stop PIV and move to other things if I've not orgasmed. If I have we just stop and cuddle.
I have no issue with it but as said above the faking would annoy me.

What is DE? And how can you fake it??