Page 4 | Men in their 40s

whitebunnies · 2022-04-29T12:33:24+00:00

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

Iwonder08 · 01/05/2022 19:43

You present it like it is something shocking and obscene.. 10 or less year gap is hardly so unheard of, especially at your age. It is also entirely possible some men don't think you are 30 and consider you actually late 30s.

5128gap · 01/05/2022 19:48

greasyshoes · 01/05/2022 19:34

Who has a small dating net? Young women? I really don't think so. Young women are the top of the dating food chain.

That's not a universal truth, otherwise you wouldn't have women in their late 20s and late 30s seeking dating advice.

At its most basic, in terms of ease of finding a sexual partner, it goes:
Young women
Older women
Young men
Older men

If young women need dating advice, it's a quality not quantity issue.

Rustik · 01/05/2022 20:02

Because women become invisible once they pass 40 unless a man is married or related to one. Single women of their own age don't exist for single men over 40.

I’m in my mid 40s. Based on the number of men who have expressed an interest in getting in my knickers since I turned 40, I’m not invisible.

GetThatHelmetOn · 01/05/2022 20:08

I think perimenopause and menopause are to blame. It is not unusual for women in their late 40s and above look older than men the same age.

Having said that, it is not unusual for both women and men to look for the “ideal” partner even when the object of their attention is playing in a completely different league than they are so to speak.

Fireflygal · 01/05/2022 20:18

It is not unusual for women in their late 40s and above look older than men the same age

Completely d8sagree. Women generally look after themselves and if have their own income, choose to spend money on physical appearance. Same cannot be said for older men who age much worse

I work in a male dominated environment and shocked at how men age relative to wome. I think it's as basic as sun protection and simple skin care. Younger men are catching up so the gap may not be the same for the next generation but it exists now.

Bagelsandbrie · 01/05/2022 20:23

Fireflygal · 01/05/2022 20:18

It is not unusual for women in their late 40s and above look older than men the same age

Completely d8sagree. Women generally look after themselves and if have their own income, choose to spend money on physical appearance. Same cannot be said for older men who age much worse

I work in a male dominated environment and shocked at how men age relative to wome. I think it's as basic as sun protection and simple skin care. Younger men are catching up so the gap may not be the same for the next generation but it exists now.

Completely agree with this. Men aged 45 plus just don’t look after themselves in the same way that women do. The recent surge in usage of HRT is only going to make this gap even wider…. !

WoodenClock · 01/05/2022 20:41

Bagelsandbrie · 01/05/2022 20:23

Completely agree with this. Men aged 45 plus just don’t look after themselves in the same way that women do. The recent surge in usage of HRT is only going to make this gap even wider…. !

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You can't possibly generalise like that. Some women in their 40s are very overweight and live in leggings, some men in their 40s are playing squash 4 times a week and spending a fortune on designer clothes.

glebaisaword · 01/05/2022 20:44

Totally agree @Bagelsandbrie! I think I look a bit younger than my age and doing OLD I get a lot of older men and occasionally similar age matching with me. However even the ones my own age look at least 8-10 years older than the age they say they are. Obvs my OLD matches aren't representative of all men looking to date, but certainly I have often thought how badly a lot of these men in my searches seem to age. Unless they actually are much older but just putting a younger age number - but they surely must know women will notice that!

GetThatHelmetOn · 01/05/2022 20:53

Look at couples in their 50s, 60s and 70s, the women most often than not look older than the men.

I’m one of those who swore it was all about taking good care of yourself and appearance to look younger for longer. At 48 most people thought I was in my late 30s, then perimenopause hit and I aged 10 years in 3! So I am now partnered with a man my age that looks much younger than me.

It does happen, unfortunately perfectly prescribed HRT is not yet available for all women, even if it should.

greasyshoes · 01/05/2022 21:11

I work in a male dominated environment and shocked at how men age relative to wome. I think it's as basic as sun protection and simple skin care. Younger men are catching up so the gap may not be the same for the next generation but it exists now.

We age faster because we do real labour throughout our lives, rather than sitting at a computer screen in some warm office.

pixie5121 · 01/05/2022 21:17

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

WomanHere · 01/05/2022 21:26

Totally agree that they are just trying their luck, probably with anyone! My (pretty grim) experience of OLD is this, I’m in my 40s and get messages from men late 20s - late 60s. I know that real life is different but the men OL exist in the real world to.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 01/05/2022 21:44

Bagelsandbrie · 01/05/2022 20:23

Completely agree with this. Men aged 45 plus just don’t look after themselves in the same way that women do. The recent surge in usage of HRT is only going to make this gap even wider…. !

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Not sure you can just use skin as a measure of looking after yourself, if you NHS Digital data men are likely to be overweight then women, but obesity and morbid obesity is more common in women then men

Loveisallweneed · 01/05/2022 22:11

GetThatHelmetOn · 01/05/2022 20:08

I think perimenopause and menopause are to blame. It is not unusual for women in their late 40s and above look older than men the same age.

Having said that, it is not unusual for both women and men to look for the “ideal” partner even when the object of their attention is playing in a completely different league than they are so to speak.

Most older men age far worse than older women simply because they don’t use skin care , know how to present nicely or really think that looking one’s best is important for a man - which of course is bs

Loveisallweneed · 01/05/2022 22:15

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 01/05/2022 21:44

Not sure you can just use skin as a measure of looking after yourself, if you NHS Digital data men are likely to be overweight then women, but obesity and morbid obesity is more common in women then men

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Of course looking after one’s skin is a huge part of looking after oneself . It’s strange that so many men don’t get that and prices what so many are saying here . Are you a man ?
also your stats are odd ad I just read this

‘Overall, 67% of men and 62% of women were classed as overweight or obese. Being overweight but not obese was more common among men than women. However, obesity (including morbid obesity) was more common in women than men. The proportion of adults who were overweight or obese according to their BMI varied by region.8 May 2019
digital.nhs.uk › statistical › pa...

67 is a larger number than 63
we don’t all live in the UK either and where I am overweight men outweight over women

nit even to get started on the point that being overweight doesn’t automatically make someone unattractive !

the attitudes of older men speak volumes really .

Loveisallweneed · 01/05/2022 22:22

greasyshoes · 01/05/2022 21:11

I work in a male dominated environment and shocked at how men age relative to wome. I think it's as basic as sun protection and simple skin care. Younger men are catching up so the gap may not be the same for the next generation but it exists now.

We age faster because we do real labour throughout our lives, rather than sitting at a computer screen in some warm office.

Ha ha ha … chase around toddlers all day or better still a classroom of toddlers
work all day at paid employment then be up every couple of hours for a baby
give birth then go home to no help multiple children and a baby
then you’ll know true labour!! which clearly you don’t to make such an ignorant comment

who are you to assume all women work in warm offices … you need some schooling

5128gap · 01/05/2022 22:29

Loveisallweneed · 01/05/2022 22:22

Ha ha ha … chase around toddlers all day or better still a classroom of toddlers
work all day at paid employment then be up every couple of hours for a baby
give birth then go home to no help multiple children and a baby
then you’ll know true labour!! which clearly you don’t to make such an ignorant comment

who are you to assume all women work in warm offices … you need some schooling

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greasyshoes has never been into an office. Otherwise he'd know that a lot of the people working in them are men. He'd also have to review his belief that office work keeps you young once he'd seen some of the middle aged men sat in front of the computers.

Bagelsandbrie · 01/05/2022 22:31

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 01/05/2022 21:44

Not sure you can just use skin as a measure of looking after yourself, if you NHS Digital data men are likely to be overweight then women, but obesity and morbid obesity is more common in women then men

Show quote history

HRT isn’t just about having good skin. It helps prevents all sorts of age related issues - heart disease, osteoporosis, certain cancers etc - good skin is a bonus but HRT really can turn back the tides of age in many ways. Anyway… that’s a bit besides the point but I do think it’s worth keeping in mind in terms of the appearance of age in terms of men and women.

greasyshoes · 01/05/2022 22:37

Ha ha ha … chase around toddlers all day or better still a classroom of toddlers
work all day at paid employment then be up every couple of hours for a baby
give birth then go home to no help multiple children and a baby
then you’ll know true labour!! which clearly you don’t to make such an ignorant comment

Looking after children is not manual labour. Nor is there any evidence that it causes premature ageing or poor health.

You probably can't even think of a job which causes premature ageing or poor health, because you've been shielded from that ugly side of life.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 01/05/2022 22:41

@Loveisallweneed not sure you mean about odd stats ? , this is the exact quote.

Overall, 67% of men and 62% of women were classed as overweight or obese. Being overweight but not obese was more common among men than women. However, obesity (including morbid obesity) was more common in women than men.

Maintenance of healthy weight is a key part of looking after yourself, just as much as skincare.

fishingforflies · 01/05/2022 23:22

"Or the Peter Pans who had travelled the world and were now 'ready to settle down' at 42, looking for a younger woman to have kids with asap. So they got to travel and experience the world but I get a life of domestic drudgery and don't get to follow my own dreams, just listen to them regale me with tales of their trip to Cambodia. Yeah, no thanks.*"
*
Yes there's a million of these OLD.
I always wonder if they end up persuading a younger women to look after them and have their children for them.....

I prefer younger men now I'm in my 40s, men in their 30s seem more full of life and not so stuck in their ways (plus more stamina) but I get lots of swipes from much older men who lie about their ages in the apps. They are very easy to swipe past without a seconds thought - I feel for you op having to deal with these chancers in real life!

Loveisallweneed · 01/05/2022 23:39

greasyshoes · 01/05/2022 22:37

Ha ha ha … chase around toddlers all day or better still a classroom of toddlers
work all day at paid employment then be up every couple of hours for a baby
give birth then go home to no help multiple children and a baby
then you’ll know true labour!! which clearly you don’t to make such an ignorant comment

Looking after children is not manual labour. Nor is there any evidence that it causes premature ageing or poor health.

You probably can't even think of a job which causes premature ageing or poor health, because you've been shielded from that ugly side of life.

Oh I see . So how many toddlers got extended periods of time ? have you looked after great . I’m guessing zero
Also eho are you to say that no women work manual labour jobs .

it’s interesting g that a single guy ( which you r stated before ) comes on a mothers forum to claim that theirs no manual labour involved in womens lives .

continue trolling . All you are doing is showing your complete ignorance

Loveisallweneed · 01/05/2022 23:41

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 01/05/2022 22:41

@Loveisallweneed not sure you mean about odd stats ? , this is the exact quote.

Overall, 67% of men and 62% of women were classed as overweight or obese. Being overweight but not obese was more common among men than women. However, obesity (including morbid obesity) was more common in women than men.

Maintenance of healthy weight is a key part of looking after yourself, just as much as skincare.

Yes I agree , it’s PART of it just like skincare and clearly women are doing a better job at that as well😀

Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/05/2022 23:42

Age is a number when it comes to casual dating

im late 40s and I have a few mid 30s want to date me
they have a ‘cougar’ thing , fantasy
its quite amusing

i somehow suspect this might calm
down when I’m late 50s !!!

BlueIvy11 · 01/05/2022 23:43

I'm 29 and I always have the men in their 50s and 60s pestering. I don't mind a 10 year gap but jesus christ. They are near my fathers age and it makes my skin crawl!! Men in work are the worst for it, especially if they are senior. Most are bloody married too.