Men in their 40s

[whitebunnies]

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

Manual labour is not the same as training specific body parts. Both will wear the body out eventually.
The older man doesn't train like the younger version. Although tbh nearly all men bypass the exercise that will strengthen the core permanently.
Older men need to tailor there exercise to avoid injuries.
I agree on the diet far too many smoke and drink. This kills the bodies test reproduction starting in the early 30s. Hence the belly and moobs, excess estrogen. Once the moobs and belly set in, stylish well fitting outfits are impossible to find.

Any handsome man will be approached by younger women, especially an older man in fine fettle.

I'm sorry but you've really over played your hand with your last paragraph. Most young attractive women don't typically 'approach' men, handsome or otherwise. Its the other way round. And if they do, there is no way on this earth they're going to 'especially' single out the older guy (money, status could mean an exception, but not all young women are swayed by that either)
Some young women may be attracted to an older man for their own reasons, sometimes not particularly healthy ones. Some may find it hard to date their own age group. Some may overlook his age if he brings other things to the table. But to suggest that any handsome old men will be pursued by attractive young women in preference to younger men is frankly ridiculous.

I’m sorry but that’s a simply laughable statement made by someone who has clearly never been a labourer, 8 hour on a building site or working in production line or putting up fences in all weathers does nothing but wear out the joints and really age a person.

It's not really much of an age gap at those ages. If you were 30 and he was 49, then maybe but ten years isn't so much that you're going to not have much in common.

Oh so you e run around after 20 5 yr olds all day have you . I guess then you’d understand exactly how exhausting it is and labour intensive ;)
not to mention plenty of women work in construction building now days too ( for those men who can’t get their little minds around anything else being hard work )
strange that you thing you being with someone younger just be because you have a ‘youthful attitudes ‘ You sound really old and tradional set in your ways , not at all with the times :)

Yes I agree plenty of men who work manual labour jobs are pretty fit . It’s the other areas of their life that often lets their health down

Yes m and any woman worth her salt will soon walk away from him the minute she finds he is a mysogynist
it takes more than a fine settle for an intelligent women to find a man attractive
btw do you think it’s only older men who need to tailer excercise to avoid injury . ?

Any handsome man will be approached by younger women, especially an older man in fine fettle

No, yuck! the original post is because younger women are sick of older men thinking they have a chance with them. I'm not sure if you are joking with that comment ?? as it's so far from reality.

I regularly, at least once a month, speak with young (in their 20s) women talking about the older man trying to hit on them. They think it's gross but haven't yet learned the language to stop it happening. By the time you are 40, you have the confidence and language to speak up but most men aren't pursuing you then (cos they hit on the 20 somethings who are grossed out by it)

My comments earlier were specifically about the aging process and generally women care more for their skin & hair so as a result look more youthful. I think stats show that but it is changing as younger men buy skincare products.

Let's be clear - if you are in your 40s/50s and you haven't looked after your skin (especially SPF) and hair & teeth then you will look older, whatever gender you are.

So your agreeing that older men look haggard , much more so than older women ?

wow the men on this thread are so confusing
some claim they are a catch ad older men
orhers claiming they look better than older women
orhers saying the hard labour takes the toll and that’s why they look worse .

and just for the cherry on top they like to come in and tell women how they have never work hard . Would have any idea blah blah blah . All that when they literally have zero idea

I was 17 when I met and fell in love with a man 12 years older. We are now married and a new baby daughter. We are both very happy and both feel that age doesn't matter

I would be appalled if my daughter had been preyed on like that. Where were your parents?

It’s weird how all these ‘age doesn’t matter’ men ONLY ever seen to go for very young girls though

If age didn’t matter, you would think they would have a few relationships in their past with women who are 12 years older than them, but nope, it is only trotted out to justify creepy men with young girlfriends

@Benbow2004, I don't know what age you are now but when you reach 30s and 40s you generally realise just how young 17 is. No 17 year old could be mature enough to cope with such an age gap.

I would freak if my son or daughter was dating a woman or man 12 years older. Not ok at all. I wish you well and hope you have good family support should you ever need it.

I was a labourer for a few years, lots of outdoor work really ages anyone man or woman, plus most manual workers I knew smoked too much, drank too much and had a poor diet, lots of heart attacks and strokes. I met a few women who did ground work as well, - same thing, lots of time outside really aged them.
im really glad I swapped to a indoor job.
and who said women don’t work hard ? Not me, I was pointing out that 5128gap had clearly never been a manual labour, it’s a shit job that I wouldn’t wish on anyone man or woman

And 8 hours sitting in an office with minimal physical excercise, which was the comparator here, makes for a fit healthy middle age? I may never have been a labourer, but know plenty who are/ were including my father who lived to his late 80s in great condition, which his doctors attributed to his active lifestyle and otherwise clean living. Health in old age is due to a variety of factors, and im not denying that some people's jobs may force them beyond their physical capabilities, but its well known that being physically active is better for people than not.

I lost both my parents in a car crash when I was 4 and bought up by my aunty on a farm

That's a tragedy. I wish you all the very best with your future.
Some of these predatory men should be on some kind of register, the way they seek out the vulnerable.

Age is a number

It isn't though.. and universally recognised. You don't drive until you are 17 or drink alcohol until 18. You don't get health checks until over 40 and then at various ages, you get retirement entitlement your 60s.

Age matters because of stages, experience, health and power imbalances.

I'm not saying it never works but society has for generations known that closer age relationships are more the norm.

Older men have chosen to pursue younger women for complex reasons and mostly not positive - equally younger women pursue older men for similarly unhealthy reasons. As society learns more about what constitutes a healthy relationships then maybe age gap relationships will reduce.

Men who had a much younger woman might previously had a congratulatory slap on the back. I don't think it's the case anymore as we understand more about power imbalances and genuine choice.

@Benbow2004

I am so very sorry. Sending you a virtual hug and hope life will be kinder to you.

Lol. Some of the men on here get a bit conflicted. They're desperate to convince us that THEY are young, hot and irresistible to young women in their middle age, but get a bit huffy at the acknowledgement that some men in different jobs from them, such as manual workers, might be considered to be in better shape. Its funny to watch the mental gymnastics as they try to demonstrate their own desirability and superiority, while excluding other men from the competition.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

no one accused you of being one of the men here who have negated work often done by women as ‘not hard work ‘
Nor were your one of the men who made comments like ‘ you would t know ‘ or made assumptions that mens early deaths are caused because they somehow work harder than women
claims made in complete opposition by many studies including by Harvard that shows the reason sare far and complex and nothing to do with men working harder than women
in fact you brought up many of the reasons for poor health in your post .