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Original poster

Men in their 40s

505 replies

whitebunnies · 29/04/2022 13:33

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

OP posts:
OhLordyWhatNow · 12/05/2022 00:35

So glad Caspar came on the thread to let us all know that we're commenting and thinking all wrong. What would we have done without him? 🤔

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 00:36

mmmmmmghturep · 11/05/2022 23:19

Been following this thread with interest. Im a woman who has always dated older men. Ive found the opposite thats been stated here to be true and that younger men are more sexist, The older men i have dated have been care worker (though formerly an engineer until an accident at work) a delivery driver and a hospital porter. So its never been about money. An older man has never recoiled in horror at the fact that i have pubic hair for instance. The subject has never come up. Thats just one reason. Im nearly 49 now and DH is 72

So you got together with your current husband and 19 according to you…

  1. how much experience did you get to have dating younger and older men before 19 . I mean seriously that’s incredibly young to be making sure a conclusion

  2. when were you dating all these other older men

  3. these men sound incredibly predatory dating teenagers half their age

yoyt story sounds incredibly suss and like something a man who wants to justify his dating much younger women might make up - jmo

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 00:41

Casper10 · 11/05/2022 20:20

I understand the danger part. I've thought that about one or two dates I've been on and thought the person had left themselves vulnerable had someone with bad intentions been their date instead of me.

Still struggling with some of the hostility on this thread though. Someone uptrend talking about men I'm their 40s not being needed any more? Where does that come from. It's not a good place that's for sure from someone we'll adjusted.

I'm sure you said it tongue in cheek but your comment about men being faulty goods being returned, it panders to a bias that women know best and the man is at fault. It works both ways.

women are at fault of being physical dangers to men , raping , drugging and murdering them to the extent that men need to be extremely careful when dating women less they be attacked . Are men really at risk of pregnancy and being left holding the baby shouldn’t they choose the wrong woman ?

does it really work both ways Casper or Orr you looking at it through the eyes of male privilege that fails to see women take the much much greater risk !

i think that’s more what’s happening here

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 00:43

Search me Ive posted on the menopause board I guess im making that up to.

Delivery driver is OM.

DH knows.

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 00:47

@Agegapp Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 00:48

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 00:43

Search me Ive posted on the menopause board I guess im making that up to.

Delivery driver is OM.

DH knows.

ok that’s fine but anyone who thinks for two minutes would realise that making a decision that younger men are no good by age 19 is very very limited . How many younger men did you actually date when you were out if your teens ?

Ad to issue of your husband being cool with the OM . Does he have a cuckolding fetish ?

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 00:53

No just no interest in that sort of thing. At all!!!! He realises that i married him very young (i was 25 when we married) and now he is in heart failure he sees my happiness as important. We never discuss whats happening. He did ask me once how much OM cares about me so i told him Very much. No other discussion has taken place. Quite frankly if you think this amounts to a cuckolding fetish you must not get out much.

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 00:59

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 00:53

No just no interest in that sort of thing. At all!!!! He realises that i married him very young (i was 25 when we married) and now he is in heart failure he sees my happiness as important. We never discuss whats happening. He did ask me once how much OM cares about me so i told him Very much. No other discussion has taken place. Quite frankly if you think this amounts to a cuckolding fetish you must not get out much.

No, sorry but you clearly didn’t read what I write it failed to comprehend ? I didn’t say it amounts to cuckolding . I ASKED IF he was !

now you explained that it’s actually because you married someone so much older and you’ve taken a lover because he is sick - which incidentally is EXACTLY the reason many women here are saying it’s a bad idea
but anyway - your response to my question of how many younger men you dated when you were out of your teens was ‘ no just no interest in that sort of thing ‘ shows a real lack of self awareness considering yih come on here and told everyone hiw in ‘ your experience ‘ younger men are so immature
the truth is you have barely any experience and none as a someone out of their teens … so really - yoy don’t know now do you
The Truth is you have no idea is a man your age would be immature or not .

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 01:10

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 00:53

No just no interest in that sort of thing. At all!!!! He realises that i married him very young (i was 25 when we married) and now he is in heart failure he sees my happiness as important. We never discuss whats happening. He did ask me once how much OM cares about me so i told him Very much. No other discussion has taken place. Quite frankly if you think this amounts to a cuckolding fetish you must not get out much.

Its a horrible thing to see someone you love have heart issues . Absolutely , been there… so want to make that clear that I understand you needing support …

but I do think you need to be realistic in that your opinion are coming from a place of very little experience in both side and that having met someone so much older at such a young age you really likely to have a skewed perception

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 01:20

Fair enough. The physical side did stop before he became ill Its long and complicated and would take a long time to explain and i dont want to derail. However you dont need to date a man to know how they would act towards you as the many anecdotes on here prove. And at the time i found the ones in my age group too immature and downright nasty towards me especially at school and college.

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 01:22

I thought i was ok with it all. I had friends I socialised. I went to the hairdressers and the beauty salon. I filled my life with other things.

Then the lockdowns came.

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 01:24

"no just no interest in that sort of thing"

No that was in response to my DH and sex.

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 01:42

Anyhow i dont want to derail this thread any more so as you were.

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 03:25

mmmmmmghturep · 12/05/2022 01:42

Anyhow i dont want to derail this thread any more so as you were.

Yes I agree , no point in hijacking talking extensively about one persons experience eheb they have been married to an older man for so long.

I get that but …:::::‘so as you were ‘?
im sure yoh didn’t mean that to sound as condescending and obnoxious as it did’ 😂

Invased · 12/05/2022 03:37

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Nicestory · 12/05/2022 03:43

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Are you saying all women over 40 should not marry? Or only that they shouldnt marry men their own age ?
how about older men ?
I’m confused by your post

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 03:50

Ohhhh lol you think women over 40 threaten to divorce their husbands but the women are immune from the same threat
why is it that you think women are not threatened by divorce by men ? Do you have the statistics for how many women are cheated on , left , beaten etc …when you can provide evidence that women are immune to the threat of divorce over 40 that will be interesting

User135644 · 12/05/2022 07:27

WomanHere · 01/05/2022 21:26

Totally agree that they are just trying their luck, probably with anyone! My (pretty grim) experience of OLD is this, I’m in my 40s and get messages from men late 20s - late 60s. I know that real life is different but the men OL exist in the real world to.

Men have to play the numbers on OLD just to get a date, particularly if they're average/below average.

Casper10 · 12/05/2022 07:37

5128gap · 11/05/2022 23:07

My DP is very much younger than me. I've explained in earlier posts that typically men my own age are not at the same level of fitness, health and interest in life as I am. Generally they are also more likely than younger men to have values that aren't in alignment with my own. Plus it would appear the general consensus is that older men really prefer younger women, and I've no desire to be with a man who considers me second best. Better to be with a young one who has chosen an older woman when he could have a young one, than an older man making do because he can't get one.
And before you say that's hypocritical of me, double standards ir some such; this thread is about older men who deliberately seek out and chase younger women who have indicated no interest in them. I didn't seek a younger partner, nor was I the one who did the chasing.

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Yeah it's completely different I'm sure 🙂

Casper10 · 12/05/2022 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Men simply aren't needed any more I think has different connotations. But thanks for clearing up.

Yeah Mansplaining because I give a different perspective....

Casper10 · 12/05/2022 07:44

OhLordyWhatNow · 12/05/2022 00:35

So glad Caspar came on the thread to let us all know that we're commenting and thinking all wrong. What would we have done without him? 🤔

You're welcome. I'll leave you all to it now as I wouldn't want anyone on this thread to consider their own double standards. This is a thread about icky men and only that....

5128gap · 12/05/2022 08:06

Casper10 · 12/05/2022 07:44

You're welcome. I'll leave you all to it now as I wouldn't want anyone on this thread to consider their own double standards. This is a thread about icky men and only that....

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Not sure why you were on it in the first place tbh. If you're not an icky man then no one's talking about you are they, so there's no need to get so defensive.

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 11:40

5128gap · 12/05/2022 08:06

Not sure why you were on it in the first place tbh. If you're not an icky man then no one's talking about you are they, so there's no need to get so defensive.

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Hilarious isn’t it
man who claims not to be an icky man complains about a thread that literally IS about icky sleazy men who target younger women
strange isn’t it how one man will pop on then when his comment is shown for the ridiculus nonsense it is , suddenly his name will disappear and another man pops up to complain how we don’t like sleazy men and tell us all he isn’t one and we are all horrible 😂

5128gap · 12/05/2022 11:54

Lol. Quite the band of brothers aren't they? Who knew so many decent men cared so much about the reputations of their less salubrious brethren? It would be quite touching if I didn't suspect they were nearly all 56 year old Bernard, typing away in his mums spare room in between leching at the only fans accounts of 20 year olds. Bernard, we see you!😂

Nicestory · 12/05/2022 12:20

omg pmsl 😂yes Bernard …

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