Page 2 | Men in their 40s

whitebunnies · 2022-04-29T12:33:24+00:00

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

Weekenders · 30/04/2022 08:03

Gowithme · 29/04/2022 13:54

Funny that you don't see any men in their late 40's with women in their late 50's though (for those saying a ten year age gap isn't much at that age) - it's all about wanting something young and pretty.

It's also rare to see women with younger, less financially solvent men.

Assuming the OP wants to meet someone, then what she wants in a partner is the only thing that matters. The large % of men her age who'd prefer a younger partner have helpfully ruled themselves out of the equation, and whether that's by nature, nurture, or any multitude of factors shouldn't be any great concern.

Fireflygal · 30/04/2022 08:57

@Penguinsaregreat, 100%, the men who target younger women, usually have had failed relationships and are often of the mindset that they will "give a child" to the younger partner but knowing they are will not be fully responsible. I met a man in his 50s who had done this, adult children and then a toddler with a younger woman.

He now wanted to have relationships with women his age but no one interested in going back to toddler years. He was fairly angry about it but couldn't see that he was responsible for his life. The idea of being single was unfathomable.

Marineboy67 · 30/04/2022 08:57

Bagelsandbrie · 29/04/2022 18:33

People fancy who they fancy.

I never fancy men my own age. I mean if I had an amazing connection with someone I wouldn’t say no (in the past- I’m married now!) but purely based on looks I’d always go for someone quite a lot younger than me. Dh is 8 years younger than me. We’ve been together 15 years now.

Agree with this...what your forgetting is these younger women in their late 30's or what ever age also have a choice.
Many women would message me when I was online dating anything up to 10 years younger and also 10 years older. Had dates with both. My partners 6 years younger. That said in the last 12 years I've had a couple of other relationships, one lady the same age and another 4 years older. Your attraction to someone is not solely dependent on age.

WoodenClock · 30/04/2022 09:03

It's also rare to see women with younger, less financially solvent men.

An excellent point

Musttryharder2021 · 30/04/2022 12:00

Women tend to enter perimenopause or menopause from 40 onwards therefore a younger woman is less likely to experience these issues

TossaCointoyerWitcha · 30/04/2022 12:57

I mean, I see the OP's point, however would point out that I know many women in their late thirties and regard them as smart, mature individuals, rather than easily-manipulated, naive maidens in the first flush of youth. I'm not sure that the notion they're easy prey for Machiavellian guys who are a decade older isn't a little insulting to their intelligence, tbh.

And that's assuming the OP is actually talking about a ten year age gap. I'm 47, so presumably now in the "late 40s" club - but if she's 39 that means an eight year age gap. I've got two primary school-age kids, and so count a few mums this age in my social circle. We get on great. We're at a similar life stage and got a lot in common. Am I to suppose, then, that should any of us suddenly turn out to be single us dating would be massively inappropriate? If they were 39 and turned 40 would that then make it okay? Would it have been alright when I was 38 and they were 30 - just not now?

And, for what its worth, my most recent "big crush" has been on a woman a couple of years older than me. So it isn't just about youth/looks, at least for me.

Frogium · 30/04/2022 13:28

Such a weird post and quite ageist to be frank.

It's not like your age is written on your forehead. Maybe you look attractive and approachable? Or maybe you look older than you age. Who knows

5128gap · 30/04/2022 17:24

I wouldn't worry OP, it's not personal. Middle aged men who make a nuisance of themselves to women aren't usually fussed about age. They know they're not at the top of the dating food chain, and are used to being turned down, so its a numbers game. They chat up same age women, younger women, older women, the landlords cat if it stands still long enough. I'd only worry if it's only this type of man that asks you out, as i can see that would be depressing.

TossaCointoyerWitcha · 30/04/2022 18:05

@5128gap where did the OP say they were making a nuisance of themselves? She just said they asked her out - not that they were stalking her or refusing to take no for an answer?

If men asking women out is deemed a nuisance, then not sure how many of us would actually get to date, since society still overwhelmingly expcts men to make the first move?

5128gap · 30/04/2022 18:12

TossaCointoyerWitcha · 30/04/2022 18:05

@5128gap where did the OP say they were making a nuisance of themselves? She just said they asked her out - not that they were stalking her or refusing to take no for an answer?

If men asking women out is deemed a nuisance, then not sure how many of us would actually get to date, since society still overwhelmingly expcts men to make the first move?

Well presumably if it was welcome attention the OP would just be happily accepting the offers rather than asking why they weren't sticking to their own age group.

Deadringer · 30/04/2022 18:20

So many bullshitters on this thread pretending that
A. Most men don't consistently try for younger women most of the time.
B. That op looks older than she is.
Ffs

doveseternal · 30/04/2022 18:26

Old creeps

TossaCointoyerWitcha · 30/04/2022 18:33

Not denying a 50 year olds trying for twentysomethings is something that, quite sadly, happens.

Would those of you posting above agree that a 38 year old guy asking out a 30 year old woman would be quite icky then?

MarshaBradyo · 30/04/2022 18:33

Deadringer · 30/04/2022 18:20

So many bullshitters on this thread pretending that
A. Most men don't consistently try for younger women most of the time.
B. That op looks older than she is.
Ffs

at the outburst.

I don’t know about most men. I’m late 40s and generally people I know are with someone quite close to their age.

obviously we all bring our own experiences to it

D0lphine · 30/04/2022 18:39

I'm younger than you but I have to say, there are a ton of late 40s men who used to contact me on dating sites.

It was that age specifically. Mid life crisis? Who knows!

SoManyTshirts · 30/04/2022 18:40

Are you sure they are in their late 40s? There comes a moment in life when everyone our own age looks older than we think we do!

They do it because it’s an ego boost if you don’t reject them out of hand, and you might say yes.

5128gap · 30/04/2022 18:51

Gowithme · 29/04/2022 13:54

Funny that you don't see any men in their late 40's with women in their late 50's though (for those saying a ten year age gap isn't much at that age) - it's all about wanting something young and pretty.

Interesting. I and three female friends, all early 50s, one of us is married to a same age man, the others have partners or husbands aged 40, late 30s and 29(!) We're not young, but we are pretty! Maybe in 5 years we'll all be on the scrap heap and have to move in together in our dotage.😂

YukoandHiro · 30/04/2022 18:54

Maybe they want kids?

Fairislefandango · 30/04/2022 18:54

Because they find younger women more attractive but it doesn't occur to them that younger women might not find them attractive?

Cliftontherocks · 30/04/2022 18:55

It’s when you are in your 40s and bloke in their late 60/ 70 are eyeing you up that you need to worry. Skin crawls

Loveisallweneed · 30/04/2022 22:30

WoodenClock · 30/04/2022 09:03

It's also rare to see women with younger, less financially solvent men.

An excellent point

All the point does is highlight that a lot of men only care about appearance , which has nothing do do with lifestyle , ability to be stable and hold down a job etc … so yeah .. shows they are pretty superficial

Loveisallweneed · 30/04/2022 22:31

Musttryharder2021 · 30/04/2022 12:00

Women tend to enter perimenopause or menopause from 40 onwards therefore a younger woman is less likely to experience these issues

Not sure what difference that makes to a man who doesn’t want kids like the ones the OP is asking about ?

Loveisallweneed · 30/04/2022 22:38

TossaCointoyerWitcha · 30/04/2022 12:57

I mean, I see the OP's point, however would point out that I know many women in their late thirties and regard them as smart, mature individuals, rather than easily-manipulated, naive maidens in the first flush of youth. I'm not sure that the notion they're easy prey for Machiavellian guys who are a decade older isn't a little insulting to their intelligence, tbh.

And that's assuming the OP is actually talking about a ten year age gap. I'm 47, so presumably now in the "late 40s" club - but if she's 39 that means an eight year age gap. I've got two primary school-age kids, and so count a few mums this age in my social circle. We get on great. We're at a similar life stage and got a lot in common. Am I to suppose, then, that should any of us suddenly turn out to be single us dating would be massively inappropriate? If they were 39 and turned 40 would that then make it okay? Would it have been alright when I was 38 and they were 30 - just not now?

And, for what its worth, my most recent "big crush" has been on a woman a couple of years older than me. So it isn't just about youth/looks, at least for me.

Are you equally as attracted to women ten years older ? I expect your answer would be ‘ only if they looked younger that 57 ‘ if you were honest .

Truth is most men are women as only attractive when they look young regardless of how great they get on or how lovely the woman is
men like to throw around ‘ it’s only a number ‘ but the number never seems to go up as much as they are prepared to go downwards 😀

Loveisallweneed · 30/04/2022 22:43

@TossaCointoyerWitcha

i only ask ve abuse the couple of years older always seems to be the max men will go up whereas ten years or even plus down is fine by many of them

WonderingWanda · 30/04/2022 23:01

I wonder if it's to do with the younger women not having any children or baggage. Maybe their relationships broke down due to pressures of eork, mortgage, kids and when the begin dating again they want to avoid women in the same situation. Women aged 30 are less likely to have got to that point yet.