Men in their 40s

[whitebunnies]

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

Dig holes = Excavation engineer
Man who pops in to mend the copier/ printer = peripatetic reprographic engineer

😂wow - talk about master manipulators of reality

The other thing that had me baffled is why they choose ‘engineer ‘ above other things when trying to validate their intelligence and opinions on social issues
As far as I know engineering degrees don’t have any subjects in psychology or human behaviour ? Yet they are quick to minimise the opinions of those who have actually got degrees in social sciences or human behaviour …. Most illogical thing I’ve ever heard

Because engineering is manly! Grrrrrr, said the woman impersonating a beardy tattooed man in hi-vis down a hole

And women don't 'do' engineering they work in offices (probably with pink fluffy toppers on their pencils) - according to Greasyshoes this is why men look older than their age and die earlier than women.

Oh of course what was I thinking , silly little me !
They are so manly and intelligent

They just make themselves look like bigger fools than their in already ridiculous ‘arguments ‘ do .

This 👏👏👏

Hahaha! Instant left swipe! They're bloody clueless 😂

Bloody spot on !

I don't need a rubbish man.

I'd love a great guy to hang out with and have future with.

Still not gonna settle for a rubbish man.
I literally see no point.

It's like guys in their 40s didn't get the meno that they need to be better otherwise most women who have their heads screwed on will not be interested.

Men telling other men what women find attractive in men is one of my favourite comedies! Generally they end up telling men what other men find attractive in men.

There are plenty of men out there who just cannot understand why women turn them down. You can explain all you like, but they will still revert to the disdainful faux seniority mode, blaming women for not liking them.

Most of the men on this thread seem to be trying very very hard to convince us of a narrative that just isn't convincing. Maybe they struggle with reading comprehension.

pmsl at this. It's so true

because just being a decent person made him look like Superman on OLD.
😂

Posting on a predominantly female board I'm prepared to take it on the chin but the suggestion here seems to be that most men using OLD are undesirables / entitled etc. Yet women in the same situation are all well adjusted and simply unfortunate in their pursuit of a partner?

It's quite different from my experience.

Oh come on. I only tried it briefly years ago, but even then I was sent dick pics, received horrible abuse and threats when I politely turned men down, had complete strangers suggesting they should come round to my home that very evening for sex after approximately 2 texts and two guys who wouldn't stop texting from different phones. Do you really get that happening to you?

Of course it is. All women on OLD are much fatter, uglier and older than you want them to be. Except the ones who aren't, and they're all stuck up and deluded if they think they're going to get better than you. Am I right?

@5128gap not really. I've faired pretty well the past three years thanks. I'm early 40s and have had far more luck shall we say than when I was back in my 20s before my long term relationship that started in my mid 20s.

Mainly because women that wouldn't have looked at me twice in my 20s are more than happy to do so now. I think as priorities change.

I don't mind OLD as I've had some good experiences. Along with some not so good ones. I know there are chrappy men on OLD etc but there's also a fair few chappy women with serious issues as well.

@AchatAVendre sorry to hear that. I've been spammed with porn and escorts links etc but not what you describe.

Well if OLD has worked so well for you, I'd have thought that indicated there were far fewer crappy women on there than men, given the women posting on here are typically saying it hasn't worked well for them.

@5128gap

OLD is tough for men and women. I think for different reasons. In men's case usually due to a lack of interaction (unless you are in maybe that top 10 to 20% that get the attention). For women it's because of the behaviours of some men from what I gather.

But sorry I just don't buy the narrative. OLD seems to primarily benefits a small group of men (not including me). I think men come on here and mention this but are shouted down. For this to change it would need behaviours to change. I know the response is well women aren't responsible for men's behaviour (of course) but neither are the men that aren't in this group behaving badly.

I don't really understand your logic. You say you've done well from OLD, so surely you're in the group that has benefitted from it?
As far as I see it, if you're a decent guy who doesn't engage in sleazy behaviour and is realistic about the women that are likely to welcome your advances, you should do better than a lot of men on there. Maybe not as well as the hottest young men, but that's just the way of the world, given the first sift tends to be on appearance and women have aesthetic preferences too.

I think young, fit, hot, with good careers guys really really do well OLD especially if they can communicate reasonably.

I can see why a man who doesn't tick those boxes feels utterly invisible on there.

I guess women don't feel invisible as we get plenty of swipes, but speaking from personal experience rarely from men I would want to meet.

It does seem OLD must only work for a very small number of people. Obviously you hear about it when I does (I've been to a tinder wedding) but given the huge numbers of people on there it is like fishing in the dark in a sea full of people who can't meet romantic partners in real life (me included!)

I think its relative. I consider I've faired reasonably well when I think back to the complete lack of attention I had back in my 20s prior to meeting my ex who I was with for about 12 years or so.

It's bloody hard work though. Most men do feel pretty invisible (me included). I like to think ive faired reasonably well as the dates I've been on for the most part went well, more often than not.

Because you get much less attention as a man (the majority) perhaps we are a bit more open minded and pragmatic. There was a thread the other day about someone dating a man that was 5 foot 6 and whether that was worth pursuing. I think that's still taller than the average woman. Half the British population is over weight, if we applied a similar logic that rules out Half the dating pool presumably (just an example not saying I would do that).

I agree that though rarely acknowledged, men are invisible to women, or else they are noticed for the wrong reasons. Taking up too much space, being a nuisance, pushing forward. Unless they are very attractive, most unassuming average men blend in together as far as most women are concerned, unless they already know them.
I think its partly because women are generally preoccupied with fending off the intrusions of the awful men, but also because out and about, we're largely minding our own business, not sizing up every man as a potential sexual partner.
I think if men are more open minded, it's because they have less to lose. A bad date for a man is a woman he isn't attracted to. A bad date for a woman can range from offensive to downright dangerous. Women need to be very careful and selective as the stakes are so high.