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Original poster

Men in their 40s

505 replies

whitebunnies · 29/04/2022 13:33

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

OP posts:
Melsuleenia · 08/05/2022 20:15

This is seriously a 'thing'.

OLD are rammed to the gunwals of men that are:

Desperate
Losers
Narcs

Men very often lie about their own age. I've seen it. I've experienced it. 45 is really 50. Then add on a few more...

A lot of these characters want younger women. In actuality, what they are really doing is looking for the side piece. If they are young and attractive it bolsters the ego and helps maintain the facade.

Rule of thumb: Do not touch OLD with a bargepole.

Palmfrond · 08/05/2022 20:25

Ha ha, no not at all! I didn’t want to not reply to your reply to my reply to.. etc etc because you made interesting points about man on man vs man on woman mansplaining, but didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t have anything to reply so I wrote something a bit bland and then regretted it and wrote another post about how to delete the previous one and then one commenting on my deletions and now this one commenting on all of the above. Simples!
And now I think I’m going to turn off my phone and have a nice lie down.

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 20:26

Rule of thumb: Do not touch OLD with a bargepole.

But what would I do of an evening without that cesspit of entertainment 😂

Palmfrond · 08/05/2022 20:27

That’s at @5128gap

5128gap · 08/05/2022 20:38

Palmfrond · 08/05/2022 20:25

Ha ha, no not at all! I didn’t want to not reply to your reply to my reply to.. etc etc because you made interesting points about man on man vs man on woman mansplaining, but didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t have anything to reply so I wrote something a bit bland and then regretted it and wrote another post about how to delete the previous one and then one commenting on my deletions and now this one commenting on all of the above. Simples!
And now I think I’m going to turn off my phone and have a nice lie down.

Oh thats cleared that up then!😂

Melsuleenia · 08/05/2022 20:57

@OhLordyWhatNow

Literally PMSL!

Oh dear! The 💧! Will it never end???

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 21:04

I think the OLD profiles are grim/ sad/ funny all at the same time.

When I come across a particularly good (horrendously bad) one I share it, then I have laugh with friends as we all eye-roll in unison.

Melsuleenia · 08/05/2022 21:09

The cretins, I mean I actually wouldn't even call them semi-epsilons, not even quarter-wits, that I've encountered on there.

I'm in the process of writing a series of novellas in point of fact. Here we go (exemplars)

I pretend to be Scottish but I'm actually an English public school educated twat. (Alright Rabbie Burns!)

I cannot make our first date because Lemmy from Motorhead died. (Feeble)

You are my muse (Deluded)

I love you. Please love me!? Let me feel your tits? Please? I love you! (Psyciatric Ward)

I really like you but I'd like you to be part of my 'stable' (Fake porn star)

Can I just knock on your door when I want a ONS? (Beyond bonkers. Pay for a pro. Tight wad)

Now, OP, do YOU see?

Atl · 08/05/2022 21:26

Rule of thumb: Do not touch OLD with a bargepole.

Haven't any of you met anyone nice on OLD? It sounds truly terrible.

Melsuleenia · 08/05/2022 21:34

@Atl

I'm sure it must happen. Odds etc but its like finding a straw in a massive haystack of needles.

Best to pursue hobbies that intrest you and see what crops up. Better odds, I'd say.

5128gap · 08/05/2022 21:51

Atl · 08/05/2022 21:26

Rule of thumb: Do not touch OLD with a bargepole.

Haven't any of you met anyone nice on OLD? It sounds truly terrible.

Think of it as a kind of online Argos returns catalogue. Most of the contents were fairly rubbish in the first place, but some other women ended up with them by mistake, or sent them back when she realised the quality was poorer than it looked in the picture. If you're really lucky you might find a decent toaster with only a small scratch on it. But they'll be a lot of slightly soiled toilet brushes, sink plungers and kitchen bins to wade through first.

Melsuleenia · 08/05/2022 21:55

@5128gap

BRILLIANT!

'A used toilet brush'

Am noting down for future reference!

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 22:00

@Atl

Yes, I've met nice people.

I've also swerved a lot of people who didn't meet my standards on:

Hygiene
Manners
Sexism
Banter, etc.

AchatAVendre · 08/05/2022 22:40

Melsuleenia · 08/05/2022 20:15

This is seriously a 'thing'.

OLD are rammed to the gunwals of men that are:

Desperate
Losers
Narcs

Men very often lie about their own age. I've seen it. I've experienced it. 45 is really 50. Then add on a few more...

A lot of these characters want younger women. In actuality, what they are really doing is looking for the side piece. If they are young and attractive it bolsters the ego and helps maintain the facade.

Rule of thumb: Do not touch OLD with a bargepole.

You forgot fraudsters and scammers.

I honestly don't know why people are still using OLD. I think its the marketing but the whole premise is designed on keeping people single and therefore using the service. The chances of meeting someone seriously dodgy who might do you harm in some way, whether that be emotional or financial or something else, are quite high.

AchatAVendre · 08/05/2022 23:02

5128gap · 08/05/2022 20:13

Goodness what has been going on with all the deletions?

I posted in error and asked for my post to be deleted.

mummysnetadmin · 08/05/2022 23:03

do you look their age? wouldnt worry i always take it as a compliment

pixie5121 · 08/05/2022 23:19

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Loveisallweneed · 08/05/2022 23:25

Yes , not on it myself but my friend says she always checks the age perimeters they set

EarthSight · 08/05/2022 23:26

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/04/2022 13:38

I wouldn’t consider a ten year age gap to be particularly noteworthy - not when you’re in your thirties and above. Teens and twenties sure - but after that it’s more about whether you’re at similar life stages financially and family wise, have the same goals and so on.

And if this is real life and not OLD, presumably they don’t know your age when they ask you out and just assume from looks / behaviour / conversation that you’re both in the same broad bracket?

@ComtesseDeSpair Except, it is noteworthy, because it's hardly ever the other way around, is it? Why is almost always the man who's either looking for, or ends up with someone significantly younger? If it's circumstantial, that's one thing, but if it's something that's a particular draw for a man, there's usually more unfortunate traits that comes along with that, one of which is seeing women their own age as being over-the-hill, and that's one of the more benign ones.

EarthSight · 08/05/2022 23:30

the whole premise is designed on keeping people single and therefore using the service

I'm willing to give one a try maybe, but yes, it seems like they're whole business model really relies on people not meeting the perfect person.

EarthSight · 08/05/2022 23:33

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 21:04

I think the OLD profiles are grim/ sad/ funny all at the same time.

When I come across a particularly good (horrendously bad) one I share it, then I have laugh with friends as we all eye-roll in unison.

@OhLordyWhatNow I started a thread that was similar to this on Mumsnet in January I think. It did not go down well with some people XD Bad timing, partly, and more and more men are joining this forum and are not happy that women have a place to chat or laugh about things like that.

frogleap · 08/05/2022 23:44

You are so right @EarthSight
There are so many men on the relationships and sex boards now.

You would think they were here to learn - and I'm sure the silent majority are (hopefully!) but the vocal majority are just here to tell us that us women are wrong having any standards.

Going back to OLD it's exhausting, I'm sure there are the occasional great guys on there, but in my limited experience I've dated a few nice guys who were so unsuitable to have a relationship (luckily they all had good personal hygiene as far as I could see/smell!) but they were earnestly dating and earnestly trying to find a relationship.

I really hope I can find a single woman like me and we can live together on a fabulously decorated and clean house, I really doubt I'll ever find a guy I would want to accommodate, they seem so lacking.

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 23:45

Yes, I've noticed more men piping up to say they're disgruntled because they've wandered into a thread. The thread will have an obvious title and OP from someone venting about OLD or in this case older men approaching younger women.

They take it so personally and try to explain why you're wrong. Greasyshoes being one example on this thread.

I've also noticed that the influx of men, who feel I need to know their thoughts on why I'm wrong, appear to be from outside the UK. I say MN have recruited more men from the US of late.

Loveisallweneed · 08/05/2022 23:48

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 23:45

Yes, I've noticed more men piping up to say they're disgruntled because they've wandered into a thread. The thread will have an obvious title and OP from someone venting about OLD or in this case older men approaching younger women.

They take it so personally and try to explain why you're wrong. Greasyshoes being one example on this thread.

I've also noticed that the influx of men, who feel I need to know their thoughts on why I'm wrong, appear to be from outside the UK. I say MN have recruited more men from the US of late.

So true . I also strong suspect that some of these disgruntled types have several ‘personas’ here and come in under different names . It’s not unusual to notice similarities in the language used and even describing life circumstances.
also seems a lot of ‘engineers ‘ who somehow think they are brain surgeons 😂

OhLordyWhatNow · 08/05/2022 23:53

As I said upthread, men who describe themselves as engineers often dig holes, or mend photocopiers, and have inflated views of their own attributes.