Mumsnet Poll: Please help me tell my husband that NO ONE has sex 3 times a week when they have children ...

[ghosty]

Last night my DH told me that the average couple have sex 3 times a week ...
I have told him that has to be absolute Bolleaux and that I will put it to Mumsnet.
He tried to back track and say that Mumsnet wasn't a good example of the population to ask such information - ROFL
Um so 50,000+ (how many members does MN have now?) women with children is not a good cross section?

FWIW: I think Once a week is a very very active sexlife Chez Ghosty ... but it is more like twice a month here

Anyway, PLEASE help me out here girls - SURELY 3 times a week CAN'T be the average for people with kids???
Can it? [slightly worried]

I wish DH and I had sex that often. Once a month if I'm lucky. No wonder we haven't managed to concieve baby #2 yet

Hey MrG - I've had sex twice since DD was born, she's 14 months, both times I've got pregnant. Consider yourself lucky!

Think it's easier to have regular sex life when they are small, it's bloody fiendishly difficult in my house where there is a 12 year old dd and a 20 year old dstepson.

Me and dp almost have to sneak around the house like WE are the kids.

Doesn't help when stepson (sniggeringly) tells me that dd has been complaining to him about our bed squeaking in the middle of the night.

When both the kids are out at the same time we both try to make the most of it, however like everyone else in the real world we are bloody knackered as well!

Luckily me and DP are very affectionate, lots of kisses and cuddles and squeezing of bums etc, even if we are too TERRIFIED of the kids to actually have sex

Where does the 3 times a week figure come from anyway?

I think it depends on the state of your relationship and where both parner's sex drives are at. But also the more you do it the more you like to do it (assuming that you both enjoy sex that is). My dh and I have been together (on and off) for 17 years. We had a lot of sex when we were very young (well late teens/early twenties) and it was fairly perfuntory stuff (more than twice a night = fairly crap sex in my experience!). Then it probably settled to about 2-3 time a week pre children. When they were tiny we hit a bad patch for a few years and sex went out of the window as an enjoyable experience. Then we seperated and started having much better sex (weird that!) and so did it more. Now we are back together I think it probably is 2-3 times a week, and I probably initiate it more often than dh. I get very horny after my period, so maybe I miss it more than him!

Through our 20 yrs together we have had 5 DC and even through all the ups & downs in our relationship upto about 3 yrs ago (another story) my DH and I would have sex 3 times a week. I would have been happy to do it more but DH was not as sexually motivated as I and 3 times a week was a compromise for us both. We both always enjoyed it but it was usually me that initiated it, he'd have been happy with once a week if that, he has never felt that sex is the be all and end all of a marriage/relationship. I guess we all just need to understand that everyones sex drive is different and whats right for one person is not for another and a compromise needs to be made that pleases both partners.

Having young children is just an excuse to me the same as working, housework needs doing, I'm too tired etc etc, if sex was that good no excuse would stop you 'getting it on' I've yet to meet a women who makes as many excuses not to shop, watch her fav soaps etc etc. Its about making the time to do what you enjoy.

My best friend has been married for over 15 yrs, she has 2 DC and she and her DH have sex every night and apart from a few weeks when giving birth always have done.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and haven't done it since babyboho got in there. Does that make anyone feel better? (Other than my DP )

BB 8 weeks? Pah! I'm at 18 months now and some here are much longer than that!

( whispers ) we do....

-I'm amazed at the sharing....

SO that's why you're NotDoingTheHousework.

Haven't read all posts but me and dh have 5 kids and have sex almost every night but if not then definately every other night

when you have convinced your DH, ask him to have a word with mine!

He also thinks he's hard done by and deprived if it's not readily available at least 4 out of 7 nights!!!!

If I'm not 'up for it' he says he's not bothered but then does his huffing and puffing routine, which makes me feel like shite!

What he doesn't realise is, the more he goes on the less likely I am to want it cus he just p's me off!!!!

I'd rather eat a huge slab of chocolate! (apparently, it realises the same chemicals in our bodies as having sex!)

Also don't help that he gets in late, I'm knackered and just want to go to sleep!

Poor men, eh!

Message withdrawn

This thread has inspired me, if I can get myself together enough to go running every day, then I can definately get on with something I'd like to do more of

Three times a week with each other?

I mean, what about, you know, one's boredom threshold? There are only so many permutations...er...surely?

Message withdrawn

Agree completely, I find the more we have sex the more I want it. Its the build up thats sometimes a problem ie: With 5 kids I am bloody knackered at the end of the day and it's the thought of using more energy in bed that puts me off but once we get started its great

POLL POLL POLL

go cod

the trouble with sex 'averages' is that IME you have peaks and troughs but you always think that your CURRENT experience is 'normal'

we have had some very fallow years but some months are most pleasing

Message withdrawn

i wish it was 3 times a week but alas DH is too tired - maybe your dh needs to work harder down a min or mountain climbing or somethng