Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

ButterflyOfShay
You’ve done so well
Even the small amount of yoga and breathing I do help , so I hear you

I’ve got the kids back soon and need to follow your lead

YommyMommy

Very similar experiences for me , and and this thread
As SortingItOut said , losing hope is a speciality here !!!

does frustrate me that I'm bringing up two small children alone and holding down a busy job (still working now) and make time to keep a relationship yet the partners I pick seem to struggle anyway regardless without

Oh yes . Same ! 💯

@Thisisworsethananticpated

gelatodipistacchio It’s done I havnt been messaging him anymore And he hasn’t been messaging me after my not so warm reply yesterday

To be fair I wanted a fling and to have him over when kids were away , and I got that

Well done - the first bit is always the hardest.

@Thisisworsethananticpated sounds like that's for the best, but sorry to hear that. The end of a romantic involvement always feels like a disappointment 😔

Hi, new to the thread, hope it's ok to join!
I've been on and off OLD for the last 10 months and I'm interested to follow all your stories!
I've been on many first dates, most have been lovely but no potential for anything long term for various reasons!
After a couple of months break I have a first date tonight with Mr Lips (amazing, kissable lips, lol). We have been chatting for a week, he seems genuinely lovely and no red flags so far so we'll see how tonight goes!
Has anyone else got a date this week?

It’s ok
And again thanks for everyone’s wise words

Its like emergency dating advice line here !!!!

In other joyful news my menopause (peri ?) has stated

How am I supposed to arrange my future Sex life when I have no idea when I coming on !?!

@seasidegirl83 Welcome👋
Good luck with your date

@Thisisworsethananticpated Can't you use beppy tampons which are designed for sex while on your period? Or do last minute meets?

I'm in peri-menopause too @Thisisworsethananticpated - I've been on HRT and to start with was on full cycle hormones which meant no bleeds - have recently switched to cyclical which means I do get (smaller and a bit irregular) bleeds... so I feel your pain. Had this to contend with last week... I don't tend to let it get in the way - however... I did not know about Beppy products @SortingItOut - thank you for that!

Thoroughly recommend HRT Thisis if you haven't already gone down that road... I'm about 18 months in and feel 10 years younger... sleep much improved, off anti-depressants, etc etc.

SortingItOut
I’ll look them up ! I have kids so sadly whatever my next meet is (and if it happens !!) needs a babysitter so some planning

ibelieveinmirrorballs
May I ask how old you are , as we have similar regimes ! I’m 48
I was in total denial about it but the fortnightly periods have erm , alerted me !
I’ll think about hrt but not ready yet to face it

totally agree with you! I think that on average, men are lower quality.

Ouch, but again probably true 😞

if I’m being honest I’ve found it a struggle to find decent quality women to date, but I think that’s more to do with my location, in a more metropolitan area I think I would have the opportunity to meet more people

@seasidegirl83 welcome to the thread! Wishing you the best of luck for your date 🥰

@YommyMommy we have all lost hope at some point on this thread so don't worry. I hope you'll find it useful 😀

Not a sausage here. I'm talking to someone at the moment on Hinge but feeling a bit half hearted just now, to be honest. I think that I can feel too pressured to keep the conversation flowing sometimes, if that makes sense? I know I need to work on that. I'm going to definitely keep on going, though 👍🏻

Well after no luck on Hinge, I joined Bumble. Nothing so far. A couple of matches who didn't even bother to respond. Then I matched and chatted with a guy who I really fancy and he seemed nice but early on he decided he needed to tell me about a sexual kink he has. It wasn't because he was being a perv but he said it was a deal-breaker in a relationship so was probably good to be up-front. It definitely was not for me so, back to the drawing board.

anotherdisaster

Bear in mind apps are cyclical and random

You could be on for a few weeks till someone nice pops up
Also always busier at the weekend

So give it a bit of time and definitely slow down and manage expectations

Catching up and checking in. You really are a bunch of strong and fabulous women with insight and wisdom and superior to all but a select few men.

Had to cancel a couple of social arrangements last week as I had Covid so I've stayed in on my own more than I usually would. It's confirmed to me that I really want someone to hang out and have fun with once in a while. Even been pining for Mr Favourite Place - met up as friends recently and he's so perceptive and it feels like he really sees me. I just wish I fancied him. And that he made me laugh a bit more. Part of me is worried that he'll meet someone else as I have some hope my feelings for him will change.

But I also realise that I'm thinking of him because absolutely nothing is happening on the apps. They're full of men who don't take life too seriously. I don't know what that means!! But it puts me right off and I hardly ever swipe right. And I'm matching with nobody. Only on bumble for now. May have to bite the Tinder bullet. I've always had most results there.

And my freezer door pops open every time the fridge door closes. So now I know why it's always a bit icy.

Welcome all newbies 👋

It’s a shame OLD hasn’t improved in the last number of months since I ditched it. I have nooo desire to pop back on reading everyone’s stories here.

@Thisisworsethananticpated is that it are you done with Balkan?? Hope youre ok x

@Thisisworsethananticpated

gelatodipistacchio

Ah get him over for box moving !

At least someone’s getting a bit of box action this week 🙊😆😆

@Thisisworsethananticpated

ButterflyOfShay You’ve done so well Even the small amount of yoga and breathing I do help , so I hear you

I’ve got the kids back soon and need to follow your lead

Literally done a quick half hour after a full on 10 hour day and feel 100% happier 🧘🏻‍♀️

WeWantTheFinestWines

Was he the one you shagged but didn’t fancy afterwards ? But nice

ButterflyOfShay

Well after multiple texts all day every day for what feels like many weeks - we are not texting
At all
And I don’t want to do anything about it either

I’m sad I can’t lie
You wonder will I find anyone else I like and fancy as much ?
But doesn’t everyone when they split from someone they fancied ?

That all said a detox is needed as it’s not helping my mood

@ButterflyOfShay after he sorts the boxes for the loft, I may have just one more box that needs some handling 🤔

gelatodipistacchio
Have you arranged the box date
Sex date

[quote gelatodipistacchio]@ButterflyOfShay after he sorts the boxes for the loft, I may have just one more box that needs some handling 🤔[/quote]
You lot are so smutty …

Morning ladies,

I am on the southern hemisphere so I get to read all your messages in the mornings 😁

So I need advise and I really hope this isn't too much info...

The second guy I mentioned yesterday has come back into the loop, he never completely disappeared (lets call him Mr Kiwi). He had went a bit quiet and I asked if he was backing away, to which he thought I was being a bit full on 🤨 He called last night and we talked it all out and it seems okay. The conversation got onto sex, and he said that he wasn't feeling comfortable when we have sex because he never knows if I'm enjoying it, if he is hurting me or if im just doing it to please him. None of that is the case, I am just quiet in the bedroom, whereas he is very vocal. Bit of background on me, raised catholic and never taught that sex is something to be enjoyed, blah blah blah. Anyway, long story short he still wants to see me, but is very none committal about whether is just casual and when I broach the subject he never gives a straight answer. I just need to figure out if I want to pursue...

Argh, why does it need to be hard 😮‍💨

Well do you want a relationship or casual sex? He’s saying the latter is on offer, not the former