Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Marking place!

Need to find an interesting, attractive, available man to date - how hard can it be 😬

@VivaVegas

Marking place!

Need to find an interesting, attractive, available man to date - how hard can it be 😬

@VivaVegas extremely hard! But it can be done.... 😀

Thanks for new thread.

My dating advice (repeated every thread):

Nowadays the questions you need to ask to establish things are IMHO:

1. Are you on the apps? You may need to expand on this as he may think having a profile but not logging in means he is off it. Also is his profile hidden or deleted?

1. Is he multi dating? Not multi dating doesnt mean you are boyfriend/girlfriend, it just means he isnt dating others?

Does he envisage he wants to multidate now or in the future?

1. Are you exclusive? This is different to the boyfriend/girlfriend question. Is he chatting/flirting/sexting/emotionally or physically intimate with anyone else?

Some people think exclusive is sexual exclusivity but I think sexting others is not an exclusive behaviour.

1. What are you? Casually dating? Going with the flow? Boyfriend/girlfriend?

Lots in between all those too.

1. For further down the line....what do you think is cheating? Years ago I never thought I'd have this conversation with someone but after my husband emotionally cheated I felt I should and so Mr K and I had the chat once we'd had the exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend chat. It was important for me (and him actually) that we had similar views on what constituted cheating and what was acceptable behaviour.

Think about what you want now and in the future and your answers to those questions and then ask him.
If you're intimate already then questions 1 -3 are perfectly fine to ask for now.

Question 4 can come later or if 1 - 3 go well.

@SortingItOut

Thanks for new thread.

My dating advice (repeated every thread):

Nowadays the questions you need to ask to establish things are IMHO:

1. Are you on the apps? You may need to expand on this as he may think having a profile but not logging in means he is off it. Also is his profile hidden or deleted?

1. Is he multi dating? Not multi dating doesnt mean you are boyfriend/girlfriend, it just means he isnt dating others?

Does he envisage he wants to multidate now or in the future?

1. Are you exclusive? This is different to the boyfriend/girlfriend question. Is he chatting/flirting/sexting/emotionally or physically intimate with anyone else?

Some people think exclusive is sexual exclusivity but I think sexting others is not an exclusive behaviour.

1. What are you? Casually dating? Going with the flow? Boyfriend/girlfriend?

Lots in between all those too.

1. For further down the line....what do you think is cheating? Years ago I never thought I'd have this conversation with someone but after my husband emotionally cheated I felt I should and so Mr K and I had the chat once we'd had the exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend chat. It was important for me (and him actually) that we had similar views on what constituted cheating and what was acceptable behaviour.

Think about what you want now and in the future and your answers to those questions and then ask him.
If you're intimate already then questions 1 -3 are perfectly fine to ask for now.

Question 4 can come later or if 1 - 3 go well.

Thank you @SortingItOut ❤️

@SortingItOut

Thanks for new thread.

My dating advice (repeated every thread):

Nowadays the questions you need to ask to establish things are IMHO:

1. Are you on the apps? You may need to expand on this as he may think having a profile but not logging in means he is off it. Also is his profile hidden or deleted?

1. Is he multi dating? Not multi dating doesnt mean you are boyfriend/girlfriend, it just means he isnt dating others?

Does he envisage he wants to multidate now or in the future?

1. Are you exclusive? This is different to the boyfriend/girlfriend question. Is he chatting/flirting/sexting/emotionally or physically intimate with anyone else?

Some people think exclusive is sexual exclusivity but I think sexting others is not an exclusive behaviour.

1. What are you? Casually dating? Going with the flow? Boyfriend/girlfriend?

Lots in between all those too.

1. For further down the line....what do you think is cheating? Years ago I never thought I'd have this conversation with someone but after my husband emotionally cheated I felt I should and so Mr K and I had the chat once we'd had the exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend chat. It was important for me (and him actually) that we had similar views on what constituted cheating and what was acceptable behaviour.

Think about what you want now and in the future and your answers to those questions and then ask him.
If you're intimate already then questions 1 -3 are perfectly fine to ask for now.

Question 4 can come later or if 1 - 3 go well.

This is the best advice for modern dating. You could make your fortune!!

@BelladiMamma indeed ❤️

Oh these are good and helpful 👏👏

Checking in. Thanks for creating.

Hi all. So much going on. Trying to take my time and think things through.

I have a new iron, Mr Chatter, we'd first matched at new year, then he had an operation. He came back a few weeks ago, I thought he was just a chatter but spent some time with him last week and plans for this week.

I'm a bit thrown, he wants a relationship with me. I'm honestly not used to this. I like him and he knows I'm poly and open to learning more.

Im trying to decide if I really like him or like the green flags. If I don't like him or still yearning internally for Mr HT. so taking my time.

We are very different - but laugh a lot. I do feel comfortable around him. He's a good communicator.

So pleased to hear this @cravingthelook

How many times have you met him?

@BelladiMamma

So pleased to hear this *@cravingthelook*

How many times have you met him?

Also pleased to hear this 👍🏻

@gelatodipistacchio

Checking in. Thanks for creating.

You're very welcome @gelatodipistacchio ❤️

Checking in

Checking in. Why am I still awake?

checking in...

Checking in too!

Checking in… insanity level check: low/medium

After deleting chat post good first date, have had lovely weekend with visiting old male platonic friend who I hadn’t seen for several years and it’s been a tonic. Ginge got in touch yesterday and there’s been a bit of back and forth but no obsessing on my part. Off for a cliff top walk a bit later.. hope everyone’s having a good weekend and enjoying springlike warmish weather!

Checking in properly...

Still with Mr K, 2.5yrs and counting.
Managing to meet once a week currently🙄
Blinkin' busy lives getting in the way....luckily its both of us rather than just one.
I'm hoping my work calms down soon so I get some free time during the week and can see Mr K.

You'll all be pleased to know that I asked to see him a day over Easter and we've got Easter Monday pencilled in😱
(This is huge news as we rarely stray from our usual days)
I'll believe it when it happens, I don't trust his ex not to pull a stunt like disappearing to London, I've made it clear how important this is and that I'll be very annoyed if it doesn't go ahead.

Checking in! 💗 and 💐 and 🍫 to all!
Absolutely diddly squat for me on the dating front. No irons, no interests, no one I even fancy! I’m not bored though happy as larry, busy social life and nothing getting me down! ⚡️🧘🏻‍♀️✨
Finally starting therapy in a couple if weeks too so continuing on my right path 💖 and in such a good place!

@BelladiMamma lovely to see you! 💕 @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers hope youre still feeling good 😇💛 @gelatodipistacchio how’s it going with your nice iron? Hope you feel settled. @SortingItOut he’d best not let you down at Easter!! 🐣💕 @Badbaddog 🧃😆 x

Oh and I’m delighted to announce I’m so excited to have finally got a tatt appt with an AMAZING artist early June! Beyond buzzing about this 🥹
Nice to have things to look forward to 🥹

@ ButterflyofShay your good cheer is incredibly uplifting, thank you! I can say that although I’m not exclusively on cartons of juice, our dry January was a game changer for me, and I no longer drink mindlessly every day 😊 so thank you for that too 😊

ButterflyOfShay, Badbaddog

I remember your dry January . Whilst not dry I did leave a party early yesterday
As I knew the choice was stay , drink more and shots to keep me parting

Or leave when I felt ok and not ruin a Sunday in bed
So well done 👍

@ibelieveinmirrorballs nice! Also, I like the idea of including an insanity rating with these posts 😅

@ButterflyOfShay congratulations on the therapy and tattoo - seems like you are taking very good care of yourself ☺️

My iron is now on his holiday. We both flew last night, with him having smooth travel and me having very difficult travel. He kept me company by text while I made my way home by tube/uber after my car from the airport cancelled on me late last night. He's very sweet.

I will have my daughter back this week and he's got an active holiday planned, so I am planning to dial back a bit on the messaging (and hopefully crazy) for the next week or two.

Re detoxes, I was away on a detox yoga retreat - vegan, no caffeine, no alcohol. I'm going to see if I can keep some of this going a bit longer because it really does seem to make a difference!

Morning - thread newbie checking in. I set up a hinge profile this week and have been chatting to a couple of people. Just limbering up again after a long period of no dating.

I got a message early evening yesterday from someone I had liked saying I looked yummy, better than cake (one of my photos is of a cake) and asking where I was based. I just went to reply and was looking at his profile to think about what to ask when poof it disappeared!

I'm very new to hinge but don't think it was me who unmatched with him so he must have done it. Does it seem like he was just looking for a Saturday night hookup? Or just overly sensitive when he didn't get a reply from 6pm Sat to 10am Sunday? Either way no big loss but is hinge more a relationship site or a hookup site? I joined it because my SIL said her friends were doing well on it but they are all outside the UK.

Maybe I should do another site as well? How many are people on at a time?