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Original poster

Husband messaged girl at work

179 replies

Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 08:15

Checked husbands phone and he has saved a girls number with hearts said “I haven’t stopped thinking about you” asked when she wants to go out for a meal.

Also wrote “morning gorgeous”

He isn’t sorry he’s very defensive saying I am sneaky because I went through his phone (true) but I am bloody glad I did. He even called me a bitch because I did it behind his back.

I’m disgusted. We have been having problems but I said multiple times if you don’t want this let me know.

OP posts:
Mumof3confused · 02/04/2022 08:24

Well he’s shown you quite clearly where you stand. It seems you don’t have any option other than to LTB?

Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 08:25

There’s no other option, he’s said it’s not “like that” and said I have probably done the same (I haven’t). What a prick we have 3 young kids.

OP posts:
layladomino · 02/04/2022 08:26

So you know he's cheating. Or at least having an EA and trying hard to make it physical.
So you know you can't trust anything he says about it.
He turned nasty and called you a bitch. Amazing that he's turned this around to try to make you the bad guy.
You say you've been having problems. Is this the straw that broke the camels back? This behaviour, on top of other problems, suggests the relationship is over, and I'd suggest going to see a solicitor to see where you stand.
Take some control of the situation. You don't need his permission or acceptance to end the marriage. In your shoes, I wouldn't hesitate.

Fraaahnces · 02/04/2022 08:28

Well, fuck him! What a prick! He’s absolutely gaslighting you trying to make you the bad guy when he’s been a dick.

girlmom21 · 02/04/2022 08:29

What does he claim it's like if it's not 'like that'?!

Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 08:29

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?

OP posts:
MrMrsJones · 02/04/2022 08:29

I'm trying to have an affair, but you caught me and now it's all your fault....

Yeah LTB

yorkshireteaspoonie · 02/04/2022 08:31

@MrMrsJones

I'm trying to have an affair, but you caught me and now it's all your fault....

Yeah LTB

Exactly this. 👆🏾
FuckThatBullshit · 02/04/2022 08:31

Out the fucking door he goes 👉🚪

So many women put up with this shit. I'll never understand it.

LeonardoDiwitchy · 02/04/2022 08:32

What a prick. Get rid.

DogsAndGin · 02/04/2022 08:32

Why would you want to call her? You’ve got the evidence. Your husband is having an affair. If that is acceptable to you then stay with him, if not, divorce him.

ZenNudist · 02/04/2022 08:34

You really should not call her.

Well it's bad advice but you could call her. Just see if you can talk woman to woman not warn her off. Its not her fault.

Are you thinking to find out what he's been doing? It could easily backfire, you'd come across crazy and she might feel bad for him and give him a whirl.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/04/2022 08:34

He asked a colleague on a date then had the audacity to call you a bitch for saying that was unacceptable. Ugh. He sounds vile.

I assume he has form for behaving like a sulky teenager if he doesn't get his way?

pompomseverywhere · 02/04/2022 08:35

I would be tempted to call her to be honest in case she doesn't know he's married. Also she might answer some questions.

Tidlo · 02/04/2022 08:35

@Wtfidiot

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?
Only if you can talk to her calmy. Find out what's happened so that you can use in your divorce.
pompomseverywhere · 02/04/2022 08:37

When my friend was in your position my friend was too angry and upset to call but I did it for her.

Have you got a friend who could do it?

Toomanylosthours · 02/04/2022 08:39

@Wtfidiot

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?
Personally I wouldn't call her, they both maybe at fault and have questionable morals... ultimately he is at fault, he could have ignored any attention or advances... he is the one who is breaking commitment to you and your family unit.

What do you hope to achieve by calling the other woman? both are capable of providing misinformation

Soontobe60 · 02/04/2022 08:41

@Wtfidiot

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?
No. Don’t call. Send her a text. “Hi random girl, this is wife of Mr Wtf. Where would you like me to send his clothes to?”
Duracellbunnywannabe · 02/04/2022 08:42

@pompomseverywhere

When my friend was in your position my friend was too angry and upset to call but I did it for her.

Have you got a friend who could do it?

Call who and why?

The women, or girl as OP describes her making her sound like a young colleague. Why? Who the OP ‘d’h messages and asks on a date is HIS responsibility. She does know the women he works with, it’s her relationship with him she needs to deal with.

girlmom21 · 02/04/2022 08:43

I wouldn't call her. It'll make everything he tells her about you in future believable.

Buildingthefuture · 02/04/2022 08:46

Some peoples ability to blame shift is fucking extraordinary!! You’ve caught him behaving appallingly and it’s your fault? Aye, right!!
He is a steaming turd op, and whilst i do believe that people fuck up and make mistakes, which can be fixable, his attitude about this tells you everything you need to know. If you think you can be calm, I would ring her. Be totally dispassionate, tell her you are divorcing him, but you think she should know the kind of “man” he is.

Herejustforthisone · 02/04/2022 08:49

Leave him. His absolute contempt for you and your children, and trying to obtain the moral high ground when he’s been caught out, is laughable.

Find a calm and robust anger and tell him to go.

seensome · 02/04/2022 08:50

I wouldn't call, you have the evidence you need, she knows he's married, they work together.
Be the one to end it with him, don't stay with the sneaky cheat.

NSA2103 · 02/04/2022 08:51

@FuckThatBullshit - men experience this as well.
@MrMrsJones - well said!

Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 08:52

Apparently it’s my responsibility !

OP posts: