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Original poster

Husband messaged girl at work

179 replies

Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 08:15

Checked husbands phone and he has saved a girls number with hearts said “I haven’t stopped thinking about you” asked when she wants to go out for a meal.

Also wrote “morning gorgeous”

He isn’t sorry he’s very defensive saying I am sneaky because I went through his phone (true) but I am bloody glad I did. He even called me a bitch because I did it behind his back.

I’m disgusted. We have been having problems but I said multiple times if you don’t want this let me know.

OP posts:
chaosrabbitland · 02/04/2022 09:31

of course its like that , he fancies her and wants to take it further . i would be making a swift plan of telling him i wanted to split .
otherwise your just going to be a sitting duck whilst he carries on texing her and trying to take this further , and no i wouldnt call her , i bet she knows hes married with kids anyway it wont acheive anything

StooOrangeyForCrows · 02/04/2022 09:32

@Herejustforthisone

Leave him. His absolute contempt for you and your children, and trying to obtain the moral high ground when he’s been caught out, is laughable.

Find a calm and robust anger and tell him to go.

Calm and robust anger is such a good term.

Leave him. Stop listening to him on the subject of his love life. He will lie lie and then lie some more. Create your own path now. Get a lawyer, get advice, get out.

Let the OW have the liar. What a prize!

liveforsummer · 02/04/2022 09:35

I'd call her, she might have no idea he's married and as a pp said may even help with evidence for divorce.

elisenbrunnen · 02/04/2022 09:37

@cooldarkroom

You could message Hello, I am H's wife, Just thought to tell you, you are welcome, & to say he is a lying, cheating gas lighter, with 3 young DC (ages) So well done both of you, for ruining 4 peoples lives.
So you are suggesting that it is this 'girl' Hmm who has ruined 4 lives?

Not him, I suppose? the one who is actually married? And has the 3 kids?

KristalBall90 · 02/04/2022 09:43

‘Hello! My name wtf and is currently my husband. Don’t hang up, I haven’t called you to have a go! Just want to make sure you’re fully informed. You’re welcome to him because I’ve kicked him out but just to let you know we do have 3 young children that he’ll be required to pay maintenance towards and look after every other weekend. Take care now, buh byeeee.’

Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 09:44

I would only be calling for intel not to warn off. I want to split but he won’t leave the house that’s the issue. It’s 50/50 so can’t really kick him out.

OP posts:
Staryflight445 · 02/04/2022 09:45

‘ Wtfidiot

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?’

No of course you shouldn’t. She’s not responsible here at all.

Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 09:45

I don’t actually feel upset at the moment! I’m pleased I’ve seen the evidence of who he is. Not someone wanting to concentrate on working things out

OP posts:
Richtea2 · 02/04/2022 09:45

You can't blame the woman in this. He the one who stepped out. You need to find out why. Does he feel trapped or what does he want.
Think ball in your court here. He doesn't seem to care what he doing.

Staryflight445 · 02/04/2022 09:46

For intel? Is his lack of respect and clear gaslighting not enough intel for you?

Duracellbunnywannabe · 02/04/2022 09:49

@Wtfidiot

I would only be calling for intel not to warn off. I want to split but he won’t leave the house that’s the issue. It’s 50/50 so can’t really kick him out.
What more information do you need? He is trying to take another women out on a date and he says it’s your fault. What can she say to paint him in a better light or are you she will say it’s only a few texts and that isn’t bad enough for you to leave.
layladomino · 02/04/2022 09:51

Good for you. You deserve better than this lying cheating bad-mouthing man.

I don't know what more intel you want. You don't need any more information to know he's a poor husband or to divorce him.

layladomino · 02/04/2022 09:53

Pressed enter too soon!

But if you really need to know more, then you have to be confident you can be calm and cool when talking to her. Could you do it without becoming angry or upset? As she'd just clam up if you did that, and it would just help him with his 'crazy wife' narrative.

girlmom21 · 02/04/2022 09:54

@cooldarkroom

You could message Hello, I am H's wife, Just thought to tell you, you are welcome, & to say he is a lying, cheating gas lighter, with 3 young DC (ages) So well done both of you, for ruining 4 peoples lives.
Why would you tell her she's ruined anyones life? She could be as innocent as the OP.
Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 09:56

I would just want to know how he got her number and how long it’s been going on and if she knows about the kids really. He’s home every night there’s only one in recent memory he could have met up with her.

OP posts:
EatsQuorn · 02/04/2022 09:57

She's gorgeous and your a bitch. His words. I think you have your answer.

collieresponder88 · 02/04/2022 09:58

He may not have done anything with her especially if she's not replying but clearly he wants an affair with her which would be the end for me So sorry

Crikeyalmighty · 02/04/2022 09:58

You don’t need intelligence for a divorce anymore after next week if I remember correctly- you just file. There are some men who simply can’t resist the thrill of the chase , particularly when life is a bit Groundhog Day and chances are if he’s done it this time he would do it again

middleager · 02/04/2022 10:06

@Wtfidiot

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?
No, confront HIM. This is between you two.
oakleaffy · 02/04/2022 10:07

@Wtfidiot

If you are married how can you get a random girls number. I saved the number should I call her?
YES. A woman I know only from dog walking said how she had been out for a date with a man, and had received a phone call from an unknown number. It was her date's current partner.

Date later phoned the Dog walker woman and said ''Deny that we went out! {The cheek of that!}
But Dog walker told the partner everything.

Call or text.

MammaMacgill87 · 02/04/2022 10:09

I'd be curious as to what her replies were? Is he chasing her and she isn't interested? Obviously that wouldn't change the outcome for me, the intention and lies are right there for you to see. I don't think I'd call her, he got her number because she's given it to him or he's taken it somehow at work. Calling her is only likely to piss you off or upset you.
Just figure out the exit strategy and stay as calm as you are now!
Sorry hes a git ❤️

Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 10:12

It looks mutual but maybe more him pushing as he asked her to go out and said he hadn’t stopped thinking about her !!!! Gross. She is replying every time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 10:13

I will call but not today when kids around he will be fuming if I do.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 02/04/2022 10:15

@Wtfidiot

It looks mutual but maybe more him pushing as he asked her to go out and said he hadn’t stopped thinking about her !!!! Gross. She is replying every time.
She's going to reply. He's the one cheating though.
IAMGE · 02/04/2022 10:15

I would screen shot all of his messages and email them to yourself.

I would ring her and ask her for her honesty in advance and ask her how long it has been going on and explain you have 3 children and wish to move on without him and that she is welcome to him - but ask if she can encourage him
Yo leave - she’s not to blame - he is