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Original poster

Husband messaged girl at work

179 replies

Wtfidiot · 02/04/2022 08:15

Checked husbands phone and he has saved a girls number with hearts said “I haven’t stopped thinking about you” asked when she wants to go out for a meal.

Also wrote “morning gorgeous”

He isn’t sorry he’s very defensive saying I am sneaky because I went through his phone (true) but I am bloody glad I did. He even called me a bitch because I did it behind his back.

I’m disgusted. We have been having problems but I said multiple times if you don’t want this let me know.

OP posts:
skodadoda · 02/04/2022 14:39

@FuckThatBullshit

Out the fucking door he goes 👉🚪

So many women put up with this shit. I'll never understand it.

I guess women put up with the shit rather than break up the family, especially when they have young DC. We know that it’s usually tougher for women to leave than it is for men.
Hollywolly1 · 02/04/2022 14:40

@HangingRock25
Why would the wife need to do the decent thing by ringing the ow surely the ow knows he's married but doesn't care and will move on to the next married man when finished with him.This is exactly what this type of woman does ,they go fir them because it makes them feel superior that they had the power to take another womans husband.The husband is clearly a cheat anyway and of no use to the wife and if she stays it will bevthe some story over and over

skodadoda · 02/04/2022 14:45

@Wtfidiot

I would only be calling for intel not to warn off. I want to split but he won’t leave the house that’s the issue. It’s 50/50 so can’t really kick him out.
I think you probably can make him leave.
HangingRock25 · 02/04/2022 14:49

[quote Hollywolly1]@HangingRock25
Why would the wife need to do the decent thing by ringing the ow surely the ow knows he's married but doesn't care and will move on to the next married man when finished with him.This is exactly what this type of woman does ,they go fir them because it makes them feel superior that they had the power to take another womans husband.The husband is clearly a cheat anyway and of no use to the wife and if she stays it will bevthe some story over and over[/quote]
@Hollywolly1 Because as others in this thread have said, most of the time the ow does not know he is married. And she deserves to know. That's why. You are assuming she knows and using that judgmental narrative to argue against the woman. Thus giving the man a free pass. There is testimony in this thread that most ow do not know. And since the chance is better than even that she doesn't know, and even if it's just a chance she doesn't know, she should be told. All us women would want to know.

Lou98 · 02/04/2022 15:01

[quote Hollywolly1]@HangingRock25
Why would the wife need to do the decent thing by ringing the ow surely the ow knows he's married but doesn't care and will move on to the next married man when finished with him.This is exactly what this type of woman does ,they go fir them because it makes them feel superior that they had the power to take another womans husband.The husband is clearly a cheat anyway and of no use to the wife and if she stays it will bevthe some story over and over[/quote]

"this type of woman" - you have no idea who this woman is. You have no idea if she knows he is married or not! He may well have told her he's separated or not mentioned OP at all.

As has been shown by this thread, plenty of women didn't realise the man they were seeing was married/in a relationship until they were told by the wife. Now I personally don't think the OP should contact her but it's ridiculous to say that she obviously knows as she's that type of woman when you know nothing about her

Onthedunes · 02/04/2022 15:22

How lovely for you to see the blossoming of a new love affair of your husband.

What are you now, some side piece who is getting in the way ?

What a charming cunt of a man he is telling you to mind your own buisness.

I hope you find your anger with this turd and use it to spur you on to ruin his masterplan, whatever that may be.

WalltoWallBtards · 02/04/2022 15:24

Wow, He’s a prince! Out of the two ‘wrongs’ here, looking at his messages because you’re suspicious and trying to have an affair I know which I think is worse.
And if you can’t get him to see how the fuck he is BU then it might be time to get rid of him.

WalltoWallBtards · 02/04/2022 15:26

‘ He’s home every night there’s only one in recent memory he could have met up with her.’

If he works with her he could be in constant contact daytime with her, go for lunch,
Meet before or after work.
If he’s WFH he can still find a million opps to call her or chat on Teams or Zoom.

Badromancer · 02/04/2022 15:41

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

NowEvenBetter · 02/04/2022 15:47

Aww, so you’re giving him a lovely relaxing afternoon away from his kids? Cute. Ah well, sounds like you picked a gross dud, good luck with that.

Wiscowoman87 · 02/04/2022 16:04

Get an attorney, see what your options are. DH is the one who is breaking your marriage contract - not you (assuming are you married?). You have the advantage.

No point in calling the OW. What would you gain?

Take the upper hand and do what is best for you and your DC.

Stay strong, and hugs to you and your DC. ❤

pusspuss9 · 02/04/2022 16:04

FuckThatBullshit

Out the fucking door he goes 👉🚪

So many women put up with this shit. I'll never understand it.

I guess women put up with the shit rather than break up the family, especially when they have young DC. We know that it’s usually tougher for women to leave than it is for men.

It can destroy children, especially little ones.

HangingRock25 · 02/04/2022 16:08

@Wiscowoman87

Get an attorney, see what your options are. DH is the one who is breaking your marriage contract - not you (assuming are you married?). You have the advantage.

No point in calling the OW. What would you gain?

Take the upper hand and do what is best for you and your DC.

Stay strong, and hugs to you and your DC. ❤

@Wiscowoman87 The other woman deserves to know he is married. All women would want to be told. That's why she should contact the ow. It's just the right thing to do.
Iamkmackered1979 · 02/04/2022 16:11

An attorney this isn’t America.

He sounds awful, sorry op but def walk away he’s clearly not bothered anymore sad for your and your kids.

Blossomtoes · 02/04/2022 16:12

I completely disagree. If my husband cheated, my priority would be to look after me and my children. I’d owe the OW nothing - and that’s what she’d get.

HangingRock25 · 02/04/2022 16:30

@Blossomtoes

I completely disagree. If my husband cheated, my priority would be to look after me and my children. I’d owe the OW nothing - and that’s what she’d get.
As women we owe it to each other to let us know when we are being cheated on by a married man.
Skye99 · 02/04/2022 16:37

For me it would be over at this point. But I’d take legal advice before I did anything.

Momijin · 02/04/2022 16:42

What a lying scumbag. I would definitely message her. She may not realise that he's married and has 3 kids - there are lots of married men on dating sites.

Flyinggeese1234 · 02/04/2022 16:44

@Iamkmackered1979

An attorney this isn’t America.

He sounds awful, sorry op but def walk away he’s clearly not bothered anymore sad for your and your kids.

@Iamkmackered1979 you do know ‘this’ is the internet, and worldwide? The poster could be American.
Smidgy · 02/04/2022 16:45

Sneaky man getting up to sneaky stuff with another woman, has the nerve to call his wife sneaky when she catches the twat out. What an absolute piece of shit.

RosiePosieDozy · 02/04/2022 17:00

Awful OP. So sorry.

He clearly doesn't love or respect you.

I would be seeking legal assistance and getting him to leave the house. Life should be better than this, trust me.

WonderfulYou · 02/04/2022 18:27

I’d get his phone, arrange to meet for a coffee then turn up & ask her directly what has been going on

I disagree.
OP needs to focus on herself and children and kicking him out.
Not faffing around with the OW which could end up making her feel even worse.

Once she’s sorted out she can contact the Ow if she chooses too but it’s definitely not a priority.

LadyLindaT · 02/04/2022 18:43

I tend to agree that OW is irrelevant. Home and children are the priority.

Hollywolly1 · 03/04/2022 08:01

Why is it the decent thing for the wife to inform the ow the man she is seeing is married with 3 children,its the ow own responsibility to discover whether he's married or not.The wife can't be responsible for her thats ridiculous,the poor wife has enough on her plate atm to fix things up for herself and the children.

TheNameOfTheRoses · 03/04/2022 08:08

@Wtfidiot

He’s got a group of work friends half a female, I would say it’s verging on flirty with those messages but reads completely differently to this. Also have no idea who this person is but I know the other ones and they sometimes meet up together for play dates etc. it’s 100% going towards a romantic vibe. I left with the kids for the afternoon, he said “I haven’t slept with her or anything” before we left. Basically was justifying saying I haven’t been giving attention (I haven’t) but that’s because either I’m knakkard or he’s been a dick!
So you haven’t been giving enough attention…

But did he? Did he give you any attention when he started to feel that things ‘weren’t quite right’ between you and he wanted more time with you/more intimacy/attention?
I suspect he didn’t did he?

Excuses, excuses… where the woman is ALWAYS the one responsible for keeping the relationship going and ensuring that poor man is happy and not feeling neglected.