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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
bridgetreilly · 27/03/2022 14:46

If I was flying to Faro, and then had a name of a golf hotel I was staying at, I’d probably think and say I was going to Portugal, but also not be shocked if I ended up in Spain. This is all a bit ridiculously dramatic, tbh. It’s not like he said he was going to Scotland but ended up in America.

herecomesthehotsteppa · 27/03/2022 14:46

My ex used to say he was going to the mosque, if full robes.
He had jeans underneath and would dash it off to go to the casino for an hour Angry

NdefH81 · 27/03/2022 14:48

I wondered briefly whether I’d stumbled in to TV chat

And this was about the latest ITV drama that was exciting posters

But no. It’s RL.

Changingmyname123 · 27/03/2022 14:48

As an experiment I just logged into find my phone. My iPad and phone were listed as here my AirPods Pro were listed as being at a specific address about 20 miles away, the house number, street and postcode were listed, they were in fact charging in the next room and are now on my lap. The find my function is clearly not totally accurate.

Delia65 · 27/03/2022 14:48

OP you said in your original post that you changed your password for appleID? In that case if he's powered it off eg overnight then this will have signed him out of FMI. So you'll no longer be able to see his live location until he's signed back in. You'll only be able to see last known location which will be up until you changed the password. So all this may be nothing untoward at all

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 14:48

@whenwillthemadnessend

Just ring the wife's Number number withheld ask for Mr whatever.

She will
Prob say he is away
Just say your ringing from insurance or similar. Unless she knows your voice really well.

And then wait for the thread from the wife who's suspicious that an unknown woman is calling for him from a withheld and won't say why Grin
gettingolderandgrumpy · 27/03/2022 14:49

Screenshot the find friends location and send it to him instead of assuming the worse . He could be in Portugal having a affair of even from the woman round the corner. It proves he’s a liar yes but the affair is a leap imo . Just ask him !

CannibalQueen · 27/03/2022 14:49

These apps can be pretty bad. My phone is regularly in Liverpool for some reason while it's in my pocket in Edinburgh. It even takes a jaunt to London from time to time. It's pinging off satellites in space and it's not 100% accurate (which is why I'm pretty bothered about police etc using those pings as evidence). I'd be pretty annoyed with him but hold your fire - maybe call one of his mates and say he wasn't answering his phone so could you speak to him etc. If you're constantly fobbed off then they're covering for each other. It's a pain but I wouldn't go mad just yet.

quicklybeingdrivenmad · 27/03/2022 14:51

I checked the flights as the op asked people to as she was obviously upset, there is an easy jet flight leaving faro at 12.45 tomorrow for Bristol.
OP I do hope everything is ok and my DH reminded me of the time my I pone was reporting me as being in Poland and I was in the uk when I misplaced my phone and we tried to track it eventually location came up at work where I had left it.

BoredZelda · 27/03/2022 14:52

This has to be the worst excuse for “I checked find my iPhone to see where my husband was” to date.

OverByYer · 27/03/2022 14:52

I really hope there is a plausible explanation for all this

SisterMichael · 27/03/2022 14:56

I live in Portugal and can easily pop over the border for a day or even a few hours for lunch, it’s easily done from Faro.

I thought you were going to offer to track him down in Spain Grin

CannibalQueen · 27/03/2022 14:58

@BadDayForMe

I’m more worried now. I went from the friends Facebook page to the friends wife’s page. She has changed her profile photo today. It’s of her sitting in bed with her 2 little girls. She has a tray with breakfast and a Mother’s Day card on it. Im wondering who has taken a photo of them in bed if the husband is away??
What an awful thing to say. Her mother perhaps? Auto timer perhaps? You're getting a bit paranoid now.
CombatBarbie · 27/03/2022 14:58

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
She was looking for her airpods. Find my iPhone app will bring up all devices associated with the apple account, very normal to have all family devices on one account ....which, incidentally her husband set up and deactivated on her phone.
ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 15:00

@quicklybeingdrivenmad

I checked the flights as the op asked people to as she was obviously upset, there is an easy jet flight leaving faro at 12.45 tomorrow for Bristol. OP I do hope everything is ok and my DH reminded me of the time my I pone was reporting me as being in Poland and I was in the uk when I misplaced my phone and we tried to track it eventually location came up at work where I had left it.

There is a scheduled 00:45 arrival at Bristol, is that what you mean? It leave Faro tonight.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 27/03/2022 15:00

Hope your ok today OP.

I agree with others, quietly gather information and wait. There’s nothing you can do just now. Do you normally meet him at the airport? I’d probably go and hang about arrivals for a bit so see if he comes out with anyone. If it’s his friend then you were just giving him a lift home. If not he goes straight to a hotel

AChocolateOrangeaday · 27/03/2022 15:01

Some fucking ghouls on here.

This is a persons life not a soap.

Have a word with yourselves.

DramaAlpaca · 27/03/2022 15:02

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

There are some very gullible people on Mumsnet.
There certainly are
thewknd · 27/03/2022 15:02

Ask him what time his flight is leaving and see if it places him at an airport/which airport, at that time.

I’ve never known Find my Friends to be wrong, tbh.

And don’t worry, he won’t know that you know. It won’t alert him.

BoredZelda · 27/03/2022 15:03

This is a persons life not a soap.

One which OP is complicit in sharing.

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 15:04

@OverByYer

I really hope there is a plausible explanation for all this

Oh there definitely is, it's probably not what the majority are thinking though...

Mummapenguin20 · 27/03/2022 15:04

Enjoy your day confront when home

Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 15:06

I'm not sure poster's are taking the gullibility comment the way it was intended Grin

thewknd · 27/03/2022 15:06

@Changingmyname123

As an experiment I just logged into find my phone. My iPad and phone were listed as here my AirPods Pro were listed as being at a specific address about 20 miles away, the house number, street and postcode were listed, they were in fact charging in the next room and are now on my lap. The find my function is clearly not totally accurate.
Because they are out of battery it will show where they last were before they lost charge. This clearly isn’t the case of OP’s husband.
spongebobscaredypants · 27/03/2022 15:06

As a recent divorcee of a cheating lying scumbag, it's very important what you do now. Quietly get evidence, this was extremely important for my divorce, within hours I had worked out his passwords for Facebook / messenger / emails / iPad. His whole other life rolled out in front of me.

He had nothing to do but crumble