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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
theDudesmummy · 27/03/2022 14:27

@Nelliephant1 "Answering questions" with a lie though...(when asked what the weather was like in Portugal it was a lie to answer as he did if he is not in fact in Portugal).

The OP knew that by putting the question on MN she would get people speculating about what might be going on. That's what she came on here for. It's not like people have decided to get some jollies by intruding uninvited into someone's troubles.

danni0509 · 27/03/2022 14:28

@QuebecBagnet

I would definitely be in that arrivals lounge tomorrow. He won’t be looking for you so if you stand out the way he won’t see you. If he’s with a male mate all is good. If he’s with a woman you have your answer.
@BadDayForMe I hope it’s nothing sinister, I would feel the same too, you have every reason to be suspicious! x
Bonniekat · 27/03/2022 14:29

What a horrible thing to be going through, sending you strength.

I’d be inclined to phone the hotel that they’re staying in (zoom in on the map for the name or Google the street name it is on) and try and fish for information. For example ‘I’m just phoning to speak to my friend (name), can you put me through to his room as he has lost his phone’ then see if a female answers 🤔

InFiveMins · 27/03/2022 14:30

I would use find my iPhone to see where he goes today and then find a reason to call him later and ask what he's been up to today. If he starts a story of how he's been playing golf all day when you know he's been at the hotel and restaurants you'll know he's up to no good.

Abraxan · 27/03/2022 14:30

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
No. Any attached to your account or family group show up on a map. If I click on mine now I can see on the map, without clicking, a small icon showing where my, dh's and DD's various devices are. I can then click on a device and it zoom in further but without clicking I can still see on a less zoomed in map.

If it was an old location it would say the date and time when last seen, rather than it saying 'now.'

PoshPyjamas · 27/03/2022 14:31

I think he’s shagging a Spanish woman he met the last time he was in Portugal

NdefH81 · 27/03/2022 14:34

Has the Op clarified how long with her DH

Whatever the outcome, I can’t see how this marriage has legs

Jobhelpplease · 27/03/2022 14:34

I’ve been following this thread and really feel for you OP

I think there is a chancy DH hasn’t been completely truthful with you but I don’t think that necessarily means he’s having an affair either some other scenarios...

He’s booked a more expensive hotel/golf experience and thought he’d try and sneakily get away with it.

He’s just on a lads jolly but didn’t think that would get quite the same green card so told you it was “golfing trip”

He’s had a GPS failure and mucked up with flight/hotel/destination but doesn’t want you to take the piss so has kept it to himself

Find you phone is not accurate and he is actually where he should be.

Like PP suggested he’s on a cheap/sleazy stag do but knew you wouldn’t like...

So many possibilities that aren’t worse case scenario.

Nelliephant1 · 27/03/2022 14:34

[quote theDudesmummy]@Nelliephant1 "Answering questions" with a lie though...(when asked what the weather was like in Portugal it was a lie to answer as he did if he is not in fact in Portugal).

The OP knew that by putting the question on MN she would get people speculating about what might be going on. That's what she came on here for. It's not like people have decided to get some jollies by intruding uninvited into someone's troubles.[/quote]
He may be in Portugal though, no one knows for sure except him unfortunately. I really hope he is and it's all one big software glitching disaster 🤞🙂

sleepyhoglet · 27/03/2022 14:34

How often does he go in these golfing trips and does he ever go in other trips?

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 14:35

Just ring the wife's
Number number withheld ask for
Mr whatever.

She will
Prob say he is away
Just say your ringing from insurance or similar. Unless she knows your voice really well.

Why on earth would she tell a stranger her husband was away? Surely most women would say 'he is not available at the moment'? Only a right clown would volunteer the information that they were alone Hmm

FairWindClearSailing · 27/03/2022 14:36

I hope there's some innocent explanation for all this, op. it doesn't sound good from what you've been posting but fingers crossed the iPhone is wrong or something.
I do find it odd that he hasn't corrected you when you've said Portugal.

If you really can't wait, I'd ask for a video call. At least then you can gauge his reaction and it doesn't give him a chance to think of a cover etc

NdefH81 · 27/03/2022 14:36

The notion of genuinely trusting someone
Fully

And then seeing a discrepancy between where they say they are and where location services says they are

And my response being to immediately start a thread on mumsnet rather than just ask. Someone I supposedly trust, have had no issues before, I love, share children and a home with

Baffling

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 14:37

It's already been established that there's a flight from pharo arriving at 1pm tomorrow which fits with his intention to be home tomorrow afternoon.

Has it?

danni0509 · 27/03/2022 14:37

@Jobhelpplease

I’ve been following this thread and really feel for you OP

I think there is a chancy DH hasn’t been completely truthful with you but I don’t think that necessarily means he’s having an affair either some other scenarios...

He’s booked a more expensive hotel/golf experience and thought he’d try and sneakily get away with it.

He’s just on a lads jolly but didn’t think that would get quite the same green card so told you it was “golfing trip”

He’s had a GPS failure and mucked up with flight/hotel/destination but doesn’t want you to take the piss so has kept it to himself

Find you phone is not accurate and he is actually where he should be.

Like PP suggested he’s on a cheap/sleazy stag do but knew you wouldn’t like...

So many possibilities that aren’t worse case scenario.

Don’t know if it’s just me, but I wouldn’t believe any one of them excuses.
lilroo87 · 27/03/2022 14:38

@ididntevennotice

It's already been established that there's a flight from pharo arriving at 1pm tomorrow which fits with his intention to be home tomorrow afternoon.

Has it?

No, the flight was actually today. Tomorrow afternoon are no flights from Faro but 2 from Malaga in the afternoon
CrowUpNorth · 27/03/2022 14:39

Does he actually seem to be spending any time on a golf course near the hotel he seems to be at?

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 27/03/2022 14:40

[quote Teasgonecoldagain]@HopeIsNotAStrategy

Sorry I got it wrong, That Jet2 flight is today. I thought he was due back today as the thread was originally posted last night.

I have looked for Monday and as other posters rightly said and @BulletTrain, there are only 2 flights tomorrow, early morning or late evening.[/quote]
No problem. 😊

theDudesmummy · 27/03/2022 14:40

If you can continue to track him (ie he doesn't cotton on, and turn off location) then you will in all liklihood get your answer by this evening, no need for the big airport drama/reveal etc. Either he is located on a golf course today or he is not. If he is not, the simple question this evening "how was your game today?" will probably get you your answer. The only time it would not would be if he tells you that it was rained off, you check and it really was raining. Then the answer to the next question "so what did you do all day instead" is likely to tell you...

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 14:40

@alwaysontheloo @Christinatherabbit just checking people are actually reading posts, some posters seem to hard of reading.

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 14:40

That's what I thought. There is defo not a flight from Faro landing in the afternoon.

Mycatisfabulous · 27/03/2022 14:41

My ex brother in law pretended to go away on work when was on holiday with his lover. Went off in full pilots gear. He was a twat.

anotherbloodyyearofcovid · 27/03/2022 14:43

@Febrier

Watching

Like a soap opera or something @Giraffapuses Hmm

Same
VladmirsPoutine · 27/03/2022 14:45

@ididntevennotice

It's already been established that there's a flight from pharo arriving at 1pm tomorrow which fits with his intention to be home tomorrow afternoon.

Has it?

People are so invested in this thread they've launched their own investigations into how far away the different locations are, where the potential golf resorts might be, flight schedules for tomorrow. It's rather remarkable if not unhinged.
LabMix · 27/03/2022 14:45

Quietly gather evidence and wait