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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 13:46

The mother's day photo is the clincher for me.

I could probably persuade myself the technology had got it wrong and/or friend had a arranged the trip and changed from the usual location (although not knowing what country he's in once he's there is a stretch) but if the person he's supposed to be with isn't there...

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 13:48

[quote allgettingtoomuch]@Rewis because she said he's been to Portugal many times for golf so it's nothing out of the usual for her.[/quote]
Ok, but what's unusual about saying they are going to try some different courses? That wouldnt raise and a red flag and takes away any worry about the OP seeing any flight confirmations or stray luggage tags or air traffic controller strikes in Spain

It seems an unnecessary lie to add to the mix especially when covid restrictions could change in either country while he's there.

jytdtysrht · 27/03/2022 13:48

I’ve used find my iPhone all over the world. It’s always correct for me.

TabithaHazel · 27/03/2022 13:49

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
She literally says it in her OP 'I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose' Have you never done anything for curiosities sake?
orangeisthenewpuce · 27/03/2022 13:49

I cannot wait to find out the outcome of this story, hoping it's a good one for the OP

Brideandprejudice · 27/03/2022 13:51

I can't believe this, hope there's a reasonable explanation OP

amymorris01 · 27/03/2022 13:51

Me too.

PAFMO · 27/03/2022 13:51

@notangelinajolie

I'm not sure I would be too worried at this stage.

DB is a golfer and has a house in Spain and often flies into Faro. He looks for the overall cheapest flights/car hire option. Sometimes he flies to Spain - it just depends on cost. Flight timings are a consideration too if he's only going for the weekend. Malaga or Faro - he just picks the best option.

It's a nice drive over the bridge between Portugal and Spain and for a golfer there is the added bonus of playing great courses both sides of the border. A couple of hours drive for a keen golfer is nothing. And there is always the option of staying at more than one hotel en-route to the next course.

Only you know your husband OP but if he's anything like mine (who occasionally goes golfing with my DB) - he's quite happy leaving the finer details to the organiser (DB).

Does your husband lie to you about which country of the two he's in when he goes?
coodawoodashooda · 27/03/2022 13:51

@Silverclocks

The mother's day photo is the clincher for me.

I could probably persuade myself the technology had got it wrong and/or friend had a arranged the trip and changed from the usual location (although not knowing what country he's in once he's there is a stretch) but if the person he's supposed to be with isn't there...

Yeah there's no getting away from that.
SimpleHoardOfTruth · 27/03/2022 13:55

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
You don't actually need to do anything extra. My daughter got iPods and lo and behold they appeared on FindMyiphone on the same screen/map as our phones.
mumjustmum · 27/03/2022 13:55

I also agree about the Mother's Day photo.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/03/2022 13:56

But if he's having an affair, why lie about location? There's no value in that.

It's possible he hasn't gone on a golf holiday, but has gone to a seedier stag do type place.

Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 13:56

DH is astonishingly unlucky in an almost comedic way if he is up to no good. Perhaps you could sell the film rights to help you get over it OP.

Unsure33 · 27/03/2022 13:56

@Silverclocks

The mother's day photo is the clincher for me.

I could probably persuade myself the technology had got it wrong and/or friend had a arranged the trip and changed from the usual location (although not knowing what country he's in once he's there is a stretch) but if the person he's supposed to be with isn't there...

It’s not proof though . Perhaps her parents are with her and organising it.
EarringsandLipstick · 27/03/2022 13:56

@orangeisthenewpuce

I cannot wait to find out the outcome of this story, hoping it's a good one for the OP
It's also a real-life situation, not a TV drama
Hollywolly1 · 27/03/2022 13:57

With the photo of the friend's wife in bed with the 2 little girl's sure who else would be in her bedroom at that hour of the morning only the husband so wherever the op's husband is with its unlikely to be with who he says it was

arethereanyleftatall · 27/03/2022 13:57

Or you take a video and then screenshot your favourite image if there's no one to take a photo

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 13:57

The Mother’s Day photo might not be today though. They could have celebrated before he went, maybe her mum took it or it could have been last year.
It is definitely dodgy but not concrete proof.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/03/2022 13:58

But...two little girls...Mother's Day...bad time for a father to go off on a jolly?

whenwillthemadnessend · 27/03/2022 14:00

Just ring the wife's
Number number withheld ask for
Mr whatever.

She will
Prob say he is away
Just say your ringing from insurance or similar. Unless she knows your voice really well.

Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 14:01

@Hollywolly1

With the photo of the friend's wife in bed with the 2 little girl's sure who else would be in her bedroom at that hour of the morning only the husband so wherever the op's husband is with its unlikely to be with who he says it was
It is possible though that friend's wife's parents ares staying to help with children/for mother's day in his absence. That is true and possibly GPs more likely to take photos than a DH is?

OTOH I think in most families I know, even where dad does get to go away with friends a couple of weekends a year, he wouldn't do it over Mother's Day weekend...

LadyDanburysCane · 27/03/2022 14:01

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
You figured wrong - there are no “steps”. If I click on the “Find My” it automatically shows ALL the Apple devices registered to it…. I just checked it my iPad, DHs iPad, my iPhone are in right here. DDs iPad is in her flat but her iPhone is out and about around 10 miles from her flat …. hope she’s having a nice time ….
justasoul · 27/03/2022 14:01

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
When you open the app it just shows all devices on a map automatically. If you click on a device, it zooms in and tells you the location, like ‘home’ or ‘16 Generic Street, Coventry’.
JustLyra · 27/03/2022 14:03

The photo of the beer with the pool in the background could help you out.

Presumably you know the name of the hotel, or could find it, that the tracker showed him walking to? Look it up. See what the pool is like. If it's the one in the background then it confirms he's in Spain.

No-one flies to Faro to go to Benalmadena.

QuebecBagnet · 27/03/2022 14:04

I would definitely be in that arrivals lounge tomorrow. He won’t be looking for you so if you stand out the way he won’t see you. If he’s with a male mate all is good. If he’s with a woman you have your answer.