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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
NeilBuchananisBanksy · 27/03/2022 13:20

Looking at flight radar, there is a flight from Malaga that lands at 12:10. Faro is early morning or really late at night.

abeanbaked · 27/03/2022 13:22

Hope you're okay OP. I know that sick, sinking feeling and it's awful. But it doesn't necessarily mean he has cheated so until you know for sure, try and stay calm. Look after yourself. All will become clear I'm sure!

BruceAndNosh · 27/03/2022 13:23

We have had quite a few short golf breaks in Portugal and Spain.
Time is precious, you book your tee time as far in advance as possible.
You don't just rock up in the algarve hoping to play, then decide to try and play in Spain instead.

lborgia · 27/03/2022 13:24

@notangelinajolie - but this is completely NOT that.

Her DH is used to going golfing in Portugal.

He would notice when they got to a different hotelHmm

His phone is wandering between restaurants, and one specific hotel.
Which is pretty impressive for one of these gps glitches that apparently happens. Couldn't be a glitch where he looks as if he's in the sea, or permanently in a pharmacy... no, it has him doing exactly what you would do in a mini break. In Spain.

4 or more hours away from Faro airport.

He has said he's in Portugal because that's the most reasonable, un-alarming thing to say.

There is NO reasonable explanation for talking about Faro airport, or Portuguese weather, and being in bloody Spain!

Sorry OP Sad

Maray1967 · 27/03/2022 13:24

So sorry you have this worry. Could you message the friend’s wife and say that’s a beautiful photo that (name of her husband) has taken? That might reveal whether the friend is at home and not with your husband?

Fraaahnces · 27/03/2022 13:24

Wow @Whatever00… Can’t even read the FIRST POST

mumjustmum · 27/03/2022 13:25

Is it possible for you to collect him at the arrivals gate?
Or a good friend/sister to watch at the gate.

If he's away with someone he shouldn't be (and to be honest I doubt he is, I reckon he's been thoughtless) then he will arrive home on the same flight

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 13:26

@notangelinajolie the difference is that you know that because your brother told you. I assume he wouldn’t lie if he just wanted cheaper flights?

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 27/03/2022 13:26

@Fraaahnces

Wow *@Whatever00*… Can’t even read the FIRST POST
Can't even read the thread title
Grandville · 27/03/2022 13:26

You should be able to see what resort he is at. Do pictures from the website match the pool pic?

Anglophobia · 27/03/2022 13:27

[quote BadDayForMe]@ididntevennotice I just looked on that site but can just see loads of planes. I can’t think straight to find my way around it.
I guess it won’t be too outing to say he’s flying into Bristol tomorrow afternoon. Can someone see if there’s a flight from faro please[/quote]
There’s a flight from Faro arriving at 1, and one from Malaga at 1.25, which isn’t helpful.

But that’s the last one from Faro; there are afternoon flights from S Spain though.

Good luck and stay strong

Figgygal · 27/03/2022 13:27

Just ask him what he's playing at? I know thats not as dramatic as stalking his friends on facebook but just cut the bullshit and ask him

Sagared · 27/03/2022 13:28

@Maray1967

So sorry you have this worry. Could you message the friend’s wife and say that’s a beautiful photo that (name of her husband) has taken? That might reveal whether the friend is at home and not with your husband?
I would probably do this. Do you know her OP?
LaraDeSalle · 27/03/2022 13:28

@mumjustmum

Is it possible for you to collect him at the arrivals gate? Or a good friend/sister to watch at the gate.

If he's away with someone he shouldn't be (and to be honest I doubt he is, I reckon he's been thoughtless) then he will arrive home on the same flight

And if there is another woman and she lives somewhere else I or is staying abroad longer then that won’t solve anything.
Rewis · 27/03/2022 13:31

@Rewisbecause she said he's been to Portugal many times for golf so it's nothing out of the usual for her.

Unless there is a backstory, I don't really see why it would suddenly be suspicious to OP if he had said that this year they are going golfing in Spain even if they had been in Portugal previously years.

Loveitloveitloveit · 27/03/2022 13:34

Oh op I’d def be going to the airport. Or can you ask him for his hotel and room number? Saying you need it to ring him etc

jytdtysrht · 27/03/2022 13:34

I’d be stalking the arrivals at Bristol - in person.

If you track the phone all morning tomorrow, you’ll be able to determine the departure airport and from that you’ll be able to find what time he’ll land in Bristol.

JustPlainKnackered · 27/03/2022 13:35

[quote Rewis]**@Rewisbecause she said he's been to Portugal many times for golf so it's nothing out of the usual for her.

Unless there is a backstory, I don't really see why it would suddenly be suspicious to OP if he had said that this year they are going golfing in Spain even if they had been in Portugal previously years.[/quote]
Read the start of the thread. He hasn't said he is going to Spain.

lborgia · 27/03/2022 13:35

@Rewis - I genuinely envy posters, including you, who think like this. Of course it should be ok to say you're going to Spain, but if you're trying to pull the wool over your wife's eyes, you want to keep everything as low risk as possible.

I do think that the world, and MN is divided into those who have spidey senses, due to being fucked over at some point, and those who cannot possibly imagine this being their first instinct.

Anglophobia · 27/03/2022 13:36

@jytdtysrht

I’d be stalking the arrivals at Bristol - in person.

If you track the phone all morning tomorrow, you’ll be able to determine the departure airport and from that you’ll be able to find what time he’ll land in Bristol.

Simply knowing the departure airport may be enough.

To be fair, Bristol Airport has a huge catchment so getting there might not be that straightforward

Staters · 27/03/2022 13:37

@notangelinajolie

I'm not sure I would be too worried at this stage.

DB is a golfer and has a house in Spain and often flies into Faro. He looks for the overall cheapest flights/car hire option. Sometimes he flies to Spain - it just depends on cost. Flight timings are a consideration too if he's only going for the weekend. Malaga or Faro - he just picks the best option.

It's a nice drive over the bridge between Portugal and Spain and for a golfer there is the added bonus of playing great courses both sides of the border. A couple of hours drive for a keen golfer is nothing. And there is always the option of staying at more than one hotel en-route to the next course.

Only you know your husband OP but if he's anything like mine (who occasionally goes golfing with my DB) - he's quite happy leaving the finer details to the organiser (DB).

This!!!

This is what I am praying is the case for OP.
Hoping he is with the friend he said and like with OP, the mother of the friends wife is with them and did breakfast in bed with the little ones and took the photo.

newbiename · 27/03/2022 13:39

@Whatever00

Why did you do find my phone? Were you suspicious in the first place?
You should probably read the first post.
boomshakalacka · 27/03/2022 13:39

@notangelinajolie I think all that is fine but, if it's this type of scenario, why the hell hasn't he told her of his plans? I think if this isn't cheating and is a completely innocent situation, the OP still has huge communication issues in her marriage.

Whatever00 · 27/03/2022 13:43

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.

excelledyourself · 27/03/2022 13:46

@Whatever00

Yes I did read the post and actually all the comments. I don't have ipod or iPhone or find my phone app. I just figured if you look for ipods you do find my ipods and it shows you ipods. There must be additional steps such as clicking on his iPhone name to look where he is. I just wondered why OP would do those steps if she wasn't suspicious already.
She also says why she did it. For a nosy. She's never used the app before, so was just being curious.