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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 08:57

It does sound as if he has told you Portugal because it's familiar to him so an easy 'excuse' Sad

crispsandnuts · 27/03/2022 08:57

Just ask him?
I regretted not asking my ex and wasted time Investigating which isn't good for anyones state of mind. My ex told me he was in Greece with work for a week, he was in Greece....however with another woman on holiday. I didn't know until years later, iPhone locator wasn't a thing then.
I don't get the whole ducks in row thing and getting bank statements from 2001 doesn't help a divorce. just ask him, if you don't get an explanation then turn up at airport.

MimosaFields · 27/03/2022 08:58

It could be that he went to Spain for the day and his phone run out of battery so the location is still showing Spain. The phone won't update if the battery is low

My AirPods are where I thought they were.  My husband isn’t!!
TracyMosby · 27/03/2022 08:59

@MimosaFields

It could be that he went to Spain for the day and his phone run out of battery so the location is still showing Spain. The phone won't update if the battery is low
But it wouldnt show him walking around. It would be a static pin.
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 08:59

I can only see arrivals in the next 24 hours on the airport website. He said he will be back tomorrow afternoon

OP posts:
Iggly · 27/03/2022 09:00

I don’t understand why he’d lie about the country - and choose somewhere next door. Makes no sense.

He could be off with another woman and still said Spain and you’d be none the wiser.

Just ask him right out. “Find my phone puts you in Spain but you said Portugal, WTF?”

pinkstripeycat · 27/03/2022 09:00

Passports haven’t been stamped for tens of years and even then they’d only stamp the book of one person in the travelling party

ememem84 · 27/03/2022 09:01

DH did a golf holiday a while back. Same thing. Portugal flew into faro. Hopped across the border to play in Spain too.

A quick google says there are golf courses in benalmadena too. So it’s not impossible that he has flown to faro. Part of the trip was to play at x course in Spain. Then dinner whilst there. And who doesn’t like walking on the beach?

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 27/03/2022 09:01

@pinkstripeycat

Passports haven’t been stamped for tens of years and even then they’d only stamp the book of one person in the travelling party
They sometimes are post-Brexit.
Karwomannghia · 27/03/2022 09:01

Curious! I take it there are lots of pics of him with his mates playing golf on all their Facebook pages etc?

LaraDeSalle · 27/03/2022 09:02

Could’ve a money thing that he wanted to hide from you.

They got to Portugal as arranged and for whatever reason decided it was shit and got a recommendation for a great golf course in Spain and spent extra money in relocating and he didn’t tell you as it involves losing the money already spent on the Portugal destination and spending more for the new Spanish hotel etc.

Men can be funny like that, telling stupid lies because they don’t want to admit overspending or even just admitting that their judgement on where they were staying was a mistake.

comfortablyfrumpy · 27/03/2022 09:04

Not sure if this has already been suggested, bit could you text him to say you realise you haven't got the hotel name in case of emergency - see what he says abd if it matches the location.

OvertheRainbow2U · 27/03/2022 09:04

Faro airport is 4 hrs 21 mins from Belamadena by road. (route finder) If he is there then he would have flown into Malaga - any way you can check? It's very concerning. I'd be in the same state as you OP. It sounds like an outright lie.

purplesequins · 27/03/2022 09:06

@pinkstripeycat

Passports haven’t been stamped for tens of years and even then they’d only stamp the book of one person in the travelling party
since brexit they are being stamped again.

but possibly only at the entry to the schengen area.

EthelTheAardvark · 27/03/2022 09:07

@ememem84

DH did a golf holiday a while back. Same thing. Portugal flew into faro. Hopped across the border to play in Spain too.

A quick google says there are golf courses in benalmadena too. So it’s not impossible that he has flown to faro. Part of the trip was to play at x course in Spain. Then dinner whilst there. And who doesn’t like walking on the beach?

Benalmadena isn't exactly hopping across the border, though.
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 09:08

@Karwomannghia

Curious! I take it there are lots of pics of him with his mates playing golf on all their Facebook pages etc?
What would that tell anyone, even assuming grown men post holiday snaps on Facebook (is that a thing?). There's no reason at all to think he hasn't been playing golf.

You'd surely have to be Rory McIlroy to identify a golf course from a generic shot and pretty stupid to post an identifying photo that your wife can see.

Emmelina · 27/03/2022 09:09

Good luck!

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 09:09

@BadDayForMe

I can only see arrivals in the next 24 hours on the airport website. He said he will be back tomorrow afternoon
Is it a regional airport? It should be quite easy to find the daily flight schedules. Obvioulsy that won't help if it's a London or other large airport with flights to both destintioins.
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 09:11

He has Facebook but very rarely posts on it. I’m looking through his friend list and can see the friend he’s (meant to have) gone away with but his profile is private.

OP posts:
LittleSnakes · 27/03/2022 09:12

It is weird that he would lie about Spain or Portugal. Surely there are golf courses in Spain too.

3luckystars · 27/03/2022 09:13

Maybe he is with his friends but just a drinking holiday and no golf.
I doubt it though.

Can you pinpoint exactly where he is and find the hotel and ring them? Ask for his room and see if someone answers? All the best.

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 09:13

@BadDayForMe

I can only see arrivals in the next 24 hours on the airport website. He said he will be back tomorrow afternoon

Use Flightradar24

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 09:13

He’s been on a handful of these trips, always to Portugal. I guess that’s why he said it.

OP posts:
Karwomannghia · 27/03/2022 09:14

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair yes grown ups use Facebook too! Sometimes they put photos on of them spending time with friends and family.
My point was if he’s having an affair or something there wouldn’t be pics of him with this friends! Op said he’d sent a photo of himself- has he sent any of him with his mates?
I don’t understand the golf references and my post wasn’t about identifying golf courses but well done you.

Cervinia · 27/03/2022 09:16

@pinkstripeycat

Passports haven’t been stamped for tens of years and even then they’d only stamp the book of one person in the travelling party
Nope, not since Brexit, we have just all got a stamp at Milan airport!
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