Would you choose the man or the dog

[Banjjoo3]

I’m having a difficult situation at home. My Fiancé HATES dogs, any dog. He hates the mess they make, the smell everything about them. I am the opposite, I love dogs. We live a country lifestyle, on a farm, with horses, chickens etc. my fiancé is away a lot for work so last year finally agreed that I could get a puppy 🐾. Now this puppy has been particularly difficult…in fact he’s nuts! He’s chewed up flooring, kitchen units, any left footed shoe, he runs full speed into the pond then rolls in fox shit just for fun, he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace (which I love him for). He’s been trained so will do all the usual obedience stuff, comes to work with me, gets a lot of exercise, all the usual stuff.

Yesterday, after he decided to shit in one of the cupboards my fiancé mentioned that he just can’t live with him anymore, that he hates having a dog and it’s making him really down, he doesn’t want to be at home because he hates him so much, I’m sure you get the picture.

The thing is, I would never give up on my responsibilities, I love the dog and he’s great company when he’s away so much, and a comfort as we have no close neighbours. So what would you pick, the man or the dog?!?

I’d choose the dog every time.

Dog - deffo.

This is a no-brainer. You live on a slice of paradise with horses, chickens, fun and freedom.

Then when his lordship returns he sprinkles misery and moaning.

Bin him and get another horse.

Dog, if you chose the man you'd never forgive him anyway.

Dog 😂

@EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter

This is a no-brainer. You live on a slice of paradise with horses, chickens, fun and freedom.

Then when his lordship returns he sprinkles misery and moaning.

Bin him and get another horse.

The most perfect of answers!

I do feel a bit sorry for the man as you had him first-you knew he didn’t really want the dog.

You live on a farm with a man who doesn't like dogs? How on earth did that situation come about? A farm without a dog? No, just no.

I love dogs but this one sounds like it still needs training and even I would be fed up with some of those things, especially if it is still pooping in the house.

A dog is for life though, but your partner shouldn't have to suffer either. Ask him if having a trainer to help may change his mind?

He agreed to get a puppy. The puppy will nature and calm down. Not sure about the man. I wouldn't live with a man, personally.

Plus, that's a tricky dog to re home (border collie?), so where would he end up? Please don't consign your dog to an uncertain future 😔

*Mature

The dog. Because, because of this you and your fiancé should never have got together in the first place because you're not compatible. Hard as it is, but instead of falling in love at the beginning, you should have been walking away.

@superram

I do feel a bit sorry for the man as you had him first-you knew he didn’t really want the dog.

This.

And if your dog is chasing animals, barking, and shitting in cupboards then he's not properly trained.

If he was, your fiancé might feel differently.

Puppies are typically difficult. A lot of people experience the puppy blues so I’d keep the dog and the partner can either stay and cope or go. If you’re at an age/want kids what would he be like with a baby?

Your marriage is a responsibility, too. A far greater responsibility than a dog. You have given up on your marriage before it’s even started - so yes, choose the dog. You don’t seem to respect your finance’s wishes to love a dog-free life.

You had your fiancé first, and went against his wishes knowing he hated dogs. You’ve put yourself in this situation now, where you’re forcing yourself to choose between him and the dog. This was inevitable, and so, I wonder if you’ve got the dog as a way out of the relationship OP? He’s told you he’s miserable around the dog, do you not feel any remorse for making him feel this way?

You already have chosen the dog over the man, by getting the dog against his wishes.

A husband and wife should be each other’s absolute priority in order for a marriage to work. I say this as a dog owner and lover.

"he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace"

He does sound like a bit of a nightmare dog... Maybe work on him being much better behaved, and your partner will come round to being a dog owner?

I love dogs and wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't like animals. But the puppy stage, when they chew everything, does get you down and I wouldn't be happy with a dog that chases livestock and shits in cupboards. Why isn't he house trained yet?
Honestly, as much as I love all my animals, and I've had a lot, I do feel some sympathy for your BF.

I mean, fiance aside, he sounds like the sort of dog who's going to irritate a lot of people! It's in both the dog's and your best interests for him to be really well trained.

The dog - but it does sound as if it needs more training, especially around the animals, that's really not on considering you're on a farm.
It's still a young dog though, so hopefully will grow out a lot of the behaviours you describe.

I'm Team Cat, but if you wanted me to move to the Dog Side, you'd have to pick a more appealing starter dog. One who destroys my house and is covered in poo would be hard to tolerate, let alone love.

This man became your fiancé?. Did you hope that he would go onto love dogs as much as you do?

This dog pooing in the cupboard is not great for anyone and as you seem somewhat blinded by your love for this animal you have and will forgive anything.

Cows can be very protective of their calves so your dog or even you could get hurt if he kept on chasing them.

I came on fully expecting to be team dog but I feel really sorry for your OH

He has compromised. He has always said he doesn't like dogs yet agreed to get one.

You describe the dog as a 'menace'. He doesn't sound at all trained properly. I'm an avid dog lover but even I would find it hard.

Your OH isn't being a dick for not wanting shit everywhere and his shoes not chewed. And as for a dog that chases calves... I'm shocked you mention this so lightly.

It's not really a strict choice between the fiance' and the dog though is it? If he doesn't like dogs, there's a fair chance that the whole living in the country with animals thing is never going to be for him either I imagine.

I love dogs but the dog as you describe would be a challenge for even the most ardent of dog lovers.

Had you allowed him to choose the dog, when it turned into the mutt from hell despite training, the situation would have been less devisive.

I would feel like your partner does. I usually feel tense around dogs, even docile ones, so having to live with a very boisterous untrained one would make me miserable.

I'd obviously choose the man, but I would have taken better action to make it work if I was a dog lover.