Would you choose the man or the dog

[Banjjoo3]

I’m having a difficult situation at home. My Fiancé HATES dogs, any dog. He hates the mess they make, the smell everything about them. I am the opposite, I love dogs. We live a country lifestyle, on a farm, with horses, chickens etc. my fiancé is away a lot for work so last year finally agreed that I could get a puppy 🐾. Now this puppy has been particularly difficult…in fact he’s nuts! He’s chewed up flooring, kitchen units, any left footed shoe, he runs full speed into the pond then rolls in fox shit just for fun, he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace (which I love him for). He’s been trained so will do all the usual obedience stuff, comes to work with me, gets a lot of exercise, all the usual stuff.

Yesterday, after he decided to shit in one of the cupboards my fiancé mentioned that he just can’t live with him anymore, that he hates having a dog and it’s making him really down, he doesn’t want to be at home because he hates him so much, I’m sure you get the picture.

The thing is, I would never give up on my responsibilities, I love the dog and he’s great company when he’s away so much, and a comfort as we have no close neighbours. So what would you pick, the man or the dog?!?

No contest.
The dog.

He’s been trained

Clearly not. It's shitting in cupboards FFS!

Train the dog properly then maybe you won't have to choose.

I love dogs but I'm with your fiancé on this one. Sort your dog out and start being a good, responsible dog owner.

Puppies are total arse holes! How old is he? Mine was a shit (despite loads of training) for over a year. He’s 4 now and he’s easy, well behaved and the love of my life.
I chose the dog (but my relationship was on the rocks anyway) after exH kicked him for spilling his coffee (in those days anything left on a coffee table ended up on the floor and he should have known better).

I am a dog fan (have dogs, have always had dogs, live in the countryside etc) but I must admit that your dog does sound… trying 😬 How old is he now?

Having said that, I am surprised that anyone who hates dogs (including the smell of dogs, which I have only ever heard people who generally dislike all animals complaining about) would be happy living on a farm. Does he like the other animals? It doesn’t sound like a massively compatible relationship.

The dog. But he needs a lot more training if he is going to live on a farm.

Your partner doesn't sound particularly suited to a country lifestyle. Your dog, however, also sounds out of control and not well trained and that would annoy me.

if your dog is chasing animals, barking, and shitting in cupboards then he's not properly trained.

^^ this.

A farm dog chasing animals and being a menace and you seem to think that’s a well trained animal?

I also came on to say the dog, but I do feel sorry for your husband having read how much you excuse your dogs behaviour. You have not been responsible. That said you’ve got it now and it’s not the dogs fault so you need to keep it but fgs train it properly for everyone’s sakes.

You need dog training classes… for you.

I feel very sorry for The Man.
I'm afraid I would also be very pissed off about The Dog I didn't really want too.
I don't know what you do now. I'm afraid this situation is unfair for both Man and Dog.
Not cool.

I’d choose the dog
However, sounds like it needs some serious training right now. All these behaviours need consistent responsible training and while I love dogs and have 2 myself, would not be wanting to put up with that either so your fiancé is not unreasonable not want to live like that

Your dog sounds horrendous. I'm with your partner and would be off like a shot.

Dog should not be chasing calves! Sounds like you need to be looking after and watching the dog more competently. I was a huge dog person until a friend recently got a puppy and can’t be arsed to train it properly or even walk it or let it out in time so it shits everywhere. Now I think so many dog owners are massively lazy and entitled…lockdown ownership has not helped but in your case, claiming the dog is ‘trained!’ Is BS and I’m not surprised he’s had enough.

I'd definitely keep the dog and get rid of the bloke

Oh and 100% your dog is NOT trained if he’s doing all these things so you need to open your eyes to that!

he chases the calves

Wouldn't any other dog who did this be liable to be shot?

How old is the puppy? Is it likely to get better behaved soon?

Dog, but the dog needs work.

he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace (which I love him for).

I’m confused - are these your calves and horses?

Is your fiancé happy to live on a farm, but not happy to have a dog?

How old is the dog? It sounds as though you are happy that he is worrying other animals?

You knew he didn’t want a dog but you got one anyway. If I was your DF I’d be seriously considering my future with you. It’s one thing to be railroaded into buying a sofa you don’t really like, but quite another to be stuck with an animal you never wanted but now have to live with for the next 12 years. It’s unfair on the dog as well to be brought into a home where it’s unwelcome.

Put your dog on a lead around the calves.
Your bf has already said that he won't be putting up with this much longer, I don't think you need to make any decision?

It's wholly possible to enjoy living in the country with other animals and not like dogs. I do.😂

I really dislike dogs in general. I'd never want to see one harmed and would help one out if it was in trouble, but I'd happily live my life never seeing another one. So I totally get where your fiance is coming from.

But I think this is more complicated than that. Your dog sounds horrendous but it is a committment you both made. Your fiance made it, presumably, to make you happy but is now being made miserable and regretting it.

I think you both really need to have a long chat about this to work out your next steps.

Is there anything more that can be done in terms of training that would stop the dog's worst behaviours? Do you feel your lifestyle actually works for the dog? If not, are there changes that could be made? It takes a lot more than living somewhere rural to meet their needs.

Ultimately you may both find out that this issue stops you being together - is the thought of being by yourself with this dog (not the memories of previous dogs and the loveliness of that) better than the thought of being with your OH and dogless? Does he feel strongly enough that he would actually end the relationship? I think that you need to be careful not to simplify this to man vs dog. It's a disservice to the dog and the man!

If I was this man, you wouldn't be having to choose, because I'd be out.

I suspect the only reason you're still together is because he works away so much. You really don't sound compatible.

I have a 10 month old puppy and I think I'd struggle if it was shitting in cupboards but my partner still thought it was a well trained adorable menace.

I came on to say dog but, tbh, the dog sounds like a nuisance and a danger or at best an unpleasantness to the other animals. Offer a 6 month cease fire and get the dog trained properly before he seriously damages someone /something.

Choosing to live a country lifestyle does NOT automatically mean someone would be happy with a dog shit in a cupboard. I grew up with a very country lifestyle and would find this disgusting.
I feel sorry for your fiancé but the relationship can’t be all that if you are considering giving it up for a dog.

Dog.

I think also the Dog has helped you realise you amd fiance are very different people.