Would you choose the man or the dog

[Banjjoo3]

I’m having a difficult situation at home. My Fiancé HATES dogs, any dog. He hates the mess they make, the smell everything about them. I am the opposite, I love dogs. We live a country lifestyle, on a farm, with horses, chickens etc. my fiancé is away a lot for work so last year finally agreed that I could get a puppy 🐾. Now this puppy has been particularly difficult…in fact he’s nuts! He’s chewed up flooring, kitchen units, any left footed shoe, he runs full speed into the pond then rolls in fox shit just for fun, he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace (which I love him for). He’s been trained so will do all the usual obedience stuff, comes to work with me, gets a lot of exercise, all the usual stuff.

Yesterday, after he decided to shit in one of the cupboards my fiancé mentioned that he just can’t live with him anymore, that he hates having a dog and it’s making him really down, he doesn’t want to be at home because he hates him so much, I’m sure you get the picture.

The thing is, I would never give up on my responsibilities, I love the dog and he’s great company when he’s away so much, and a comfort as we have no close neighbours. So what would you pick, the man or the dog?!?

It’s a shame you’ve talked him into getting a dog if you knew he hates them. It’s not fair on the dog and on him to be honest.
It’s not like he wanted a dog on the first place and then changed his mind about it. He never wanted one.

And I’m a dog person, I couldn’t be with someone who don’t like having pets, hence my DH is someone who shares this view.

I've just seen some of your updates

Get rid of the fog, your DH is right

You are a shit dog owner your dog deserves better than to end up maimed or put down because you can't be bothered to train it properly & prefer to baby it instead. I cannot stand dog owners that let there dogs harass other animals. Especially young animals that will be terrified. It's an accident waiting to happen. You don't deserve a dog

I’m unsure how by me having dog training sessions with my dog who is under 1 year old (the dog happens to be 10 months) means I can’t be bothered to train my dog?!? Yes I agree he needs more training, but it’s not like I haven’t bothered without training! It certainly does not make me a shit dog owner!! Me previous dog was beautifully trained and behaved thank you, this one just happens to be more of a challenge.

I could never live with a dog. In your fiancee's shoes I would never have agreed to your having one.

I think your fiancee has to accept his decision. He could have said no with the views he has.

@luckylavender

If I were your fiancé I would already have left

yep

Dog obviously

I feel sorry for your fiancé having to put up with an out of control dog charging around his home and shitting in cupboards. Get a grip and sort the the dog out that's ridiculous

I adopted a dog belonging to a relative who died recently. I already had cats and dogs. This dog is a problem because he is ill and was never exercised, overweight and had very complex health needs. His aggression stems from anxiety. With a few months of decent diet, exercise and strict training, he has improved. Nearly continent in the home, more obedient and affectionate. It has required strict behavioural training which is consisent. Rewards for all positive behaviour. Puppies are hormonal hell and difficult to manage. Have patience and consistency with your dog and he will adjust. Neutering will cool him off as well.

It sounds like you’re going to try all the right things. The dog is bloody annoying by the sounds of things, but he’s just hitting adolescence. A lot of dogs are hyper at that age (a lot of dogs going into rescue are that age, all my rescue dogs have been over excited 10-14 month olds. Hope you sort this issue. I still can’t get my head round someone who lives on a farm and events, but doesn’t like dogs!

Ffs the dog everytime!

The DDog will probably grow out of the twatty behaviour.

The man probably won't.

It's your call.

I can sympathise with your fiancé. I don't think I could love a dog that chases farm animals. You seem to think that's endearing but if I was the farmer, I'd shoot your dog.

I've been your fiance in this situation. DH and DD wanted a puppy - and a particular breed which I'd read is often challenging.
At the time I just wasn't in the headspace but I'm a fairly experienced dog owner and I gave in based on both of them sincerely promising to mimic my training and be consistent. More fool me.
Neither of them helped. They'd both let the pup run wild in their company so all my efforts were undone.
I almost hated that pup in the end. Used to feel like crying most days. This wasn't just puppy blues.
I got there in the end.
And he's a placid easy going 8yr old now living with DD as she's now an adult with her own home.
She has this lovely pet. Whereas I had a biting, indiscriminately shitting, Houdini animal.
I coped (barely) with the hardest to train dog I've ever known.
It was around 18 months of pure hell.
I've never really forgiven either DH or DD tbh.
To reluctantly agree to have a puppy because you think it will make your partner so happy, and then suffer really negative consequences is crap.

Urgh - just because she is planning to say:

"to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, in sickness and health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part."

That he should think she values his well being above her dog ??? Madness. He should know that his happiness will never be above her lovely doggy.

@Findwen

Urgh - just because she is planning to say:

"to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, in sickness and health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part."

That he should think she values his well being above her dog ??? Madness. He should know that his happiness will never be above her lovely doggy.

WTF?

I like dogs, but would rehome yours

SoupDragon -- I may not have been entirely serious.

I'm sure no one really needs to be told that vows you make to your partner should not be said unless you really, really mean them. There is no caveat for dogs, cats or any other pets to the best of my knowledge.

The dog needs to be trained! He would get on my nerves to be honest shitting in cupboards Nah! A dog that chases calves! Nope I’m on your fiancé’s side with this! And yes we have trained German Shepard’s and have always loved dogs! Puppies are hard work but can be trained it takes time

He's not unreasonable - he never wanted the dog and it sounds like you wore him down. So it's shit for him.

Surely it's a fundamental incompatibility and the time to split was a long time ago given the strength of feeling on both sides.

And when he DID relent on getting a dog, it should have been an older calmer one chosen to suit your fiancé, not a demanding, energetic puppy (which lots would struggle with!)

All this is hindsight obviously! I think all you can do is decide if you can be happy without a dog and if not, call time on the relationship. I think the fact you'd even consider a new pet over your fiancé is not a great sign anyway...

@Imsittinginthekitchensink

I'm Team Cat, but if you wanted me to move to the Dog Side, you'd have to pick a more appealing starter dog. One who destroys my house and is covered in poo would be hard to tolerate, let alone love.

😂😂 With just the thread title to go on, I would vote to keep the dog and ditched the bloke but having read about the dog's behaviour, I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to open a cupboard and find a turd so why should your fiance? You also seem to think that the dog being a 'menace' is cute. I bet nobody else does.